Count It All Joy!

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds...” (James 1:2). Trials include insults, being misjudged, conflict, discord, and other hardships. When I think of trials, joy is not the first thing that comes to mind. What typically comes to mind for me is pain. I cringe – especially at the thought of hardships that threaten my security or relationship conflict.

“Count it all joy (James 1:2): 'Count' (hēgeomai, Strong’s #2233) could be translated 'consider, deem, reckon, evaluate, or judge.' Therefore, the phrase does not describe a forced or flippant emotional reaction (see 1 Pet. 1:3–6), but a seasoned judgment of the will and mind based on an understanding of the purpose of trials. Out of this base of knowledge comes true rejoicing in anticipation of the glorious results the trial will produce. “ 1

The reason for our joy is that the testing of our faith produces steadfastness (James 1:3). And this steadfastness, when it has its full effect, perfects us (James 1:4). The word used for steadfastness, hupomonē (Strong’s #5281), comes from a verb meaning “to hold one’s ground in conflict, bear up against adversity, hold out under stress, persevere under pressure.” As the commentary notes, it is an active, strong, and unshakable trust in God that finds its base in belief in the integrity of God’s character, His word, and His care. 2

As Ken Sande writes in his book, “The Peace Maker,” God permits difficulties because they give us opportunity to glorify Him, rely more on Him and they form us in the likeness of Christ.

Rev. Quinn Vaughn notes in suffering and hardships, we will be tempted to be sucked into suffer like the world. 3 Vaughn goes on to explain that we will be tempted to live hastily and find quick fixes; we will be tempted to complain and grumble against others; and, we will be tempted to rely on our own strength to get us through. 4 The world's way is to use, manipulate, compete with, show partiality towards (those who can provide favors), talk against, and take advantage of others.

When we respond to trials as the world does, we have no eternal gain. It does not glorify God or form us in His likeness. Rather, it exposes the sin in our hearts and provides us an opportunity to repent and change directions. As James notes in James 4:4, “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?”

There is also a temptation is to blame God or circumstances for our worldly response rather than take responsibility and repent. James writes that no one is tempted by God, but rather we are lured and enticed by our own desires (James 1:13-14). Our wrong desires gives birth to sin and sin brings death.

James writes, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him (James 1:12). Later, he notes “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well” (James 2:8).

As Vaughn states, “Following the way of Christ, playing by a different set of rules, means we will at times suffer oppression and exploitation.”3 James reminds people not to be envious of those who pursue the world's way of succeeding because their end is eminent. He writes, “So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.”

“Do not let my enemy triumph over me. My hope is in You, show me Your way” sings in the background.

In hardships that threaten our security, we have a great hope and it is not in our own striving to stay afloat. God does not forsake His saints! He is good and He holds us in His hand. David cries out in Psalm 37, “Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked. For the arms of the wicked shall be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous. The Lord knows the days of the blameless, and their heritage will remain forever; they are not put to shame in evil times, in the days of famine they have abundance...I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.”

Our hope is not in our circumstance but in the Lord. James writes, “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord.“ A comfort to our suffering is knowing God through our sufferings, being formed in His image and knowing we are going to see Him face to face one day.

James also reminds us that in suffering, there is power in prayer. He writes, “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray... The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

So what about relationship conflict specifically? Conflict is defined by Ken Sande as a difference in opinion or purpose the frustrates someones goals or desires. It is the result of wrong attitudes, poor communication, difference in values, goals and priorities and competition for limited resources.5

As Charles Stanley notes, there is no way to remove discord from our lives so the important question is how will we deal with it. Ken Sande writes that “conflict is an opportunity to solve common problems in a way that honors God and offers benefits to those involved.”

Peter writes in 1 Peter 2:17, “Honor everyone.” Ken Sande, in his book “The Peace Maker” writes that attack responses demonstrate that the person is more interested in winning than in preserving the relationship. Attack responses devalue the other person. I read somewhere, you can be “right” and at the same time be completely wrong. Ken notes that attack responses are about control, asserting rights and/or taking advantage of others. It appears strong and self-confident but is often used by people who feel weak, fearful, insecure and vulnerable. Attack responses, as Ken notes, can range from intimidation, verbal attacks, gossip and slander (passive aggressive), to violence and finally murder.

James writes, “For he who said, 'Do not commit adultery,' also said, 'Do not murder'... So speak and act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” James goes on to say, “'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble'... Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law.”

Instead, James writes, “Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).

Escape responses, on the other hand, avoid conflict and seek to ignore they occur. Over time, when one is avoiding conflict, they stuff the anger or turn it inward which result in depression. Charles Stanley writes that a common response by Christians is to make the mistake of repressing criticism and ignore there is any problem.

Ken Sande writes, there may be times where withdrawing is appropriate. It can be appropriate short term while one gathers their thoughts and prays.

Instead of attacking or escaping (fight or flight) responses to conflict, we are to “seek peace and pursue it. (1 Peter 3:11). Ken Sande outlines peacemaking responses as overlooking an offense, reconciliation, negotiation, mediation, and arbitration. As he writes, all of these responses hold oneself and the other accountable for actions while not blaming, promoting repentance, justice and forgiveness.

According to Sande, overlooking an offense is appropriate when the offense is insignificant and it meets two conditions. First, it does not create a wall between relationships, and second, overlooking it does not damage any one's reputation. Overlooking an offense involves a deliberate decision to forgive the offense and no longer talk about it or dwell on it.

He goes on to write that reconciliation involves confession, correction and forgiveness. Negotiation is used where resources are involved. And mediation or arbitration are used when one cannot resolve the conflict without an intermediary.

Ken Sande writes that all peacemaking responses include four elements. They glorify God, show accountability, gently restore, and reconcile the relationship.

Glorifying God

When one is involved in conflict, it is important to have an attitude that desires to glorify God. As Ken Sande notes, when you focus on trusting, obeying, imitating and acknowledging God, one is less likely to stumble in conflict.

James writes in James 4:1-2, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is in not this, that your passions are at war within you. You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”

Conflict starts in the heart.6 If we are seeking solely to glorify God, we will not quarrel over worldly desires. Instead our motive will be to please God. Peter tells us in 1 Peter 3:8-12 the disposition that glorifies God in conflict. He writes, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.” As Ken Sande writes, unity is more than the absence of conflict, it involves genuine harmony, understanding and goodwill between people.

Demonstrating Accountability

Charles Stanley writes that we might respond by blaming others and fail to take any responsibility. As Ken Sande mentions, one must first get the log out of their own eye in a conflict.

In James 1:5 it says, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him.” With our heart's set on glorifying God, we should first ask God to help us see our own sin clearly and repent of it, regardless of what others may do.7 Ken Sande goes on to note that we can also ask a trusted friend to candidly critique our role in a conflict.

Gently Restore

After we have removed the log from our own eye, we can gently help others take responsibility for their part in the conflict.8

However, as Ken Sande notes, we cross a line when we begin to sinfully judge others, feeling superior, having a sense of indignation, condemnation, contempt, bitterness, or resentment toward others.

He writes that the closer we are to others, the more we expect of them and more likely we are to judge them. Sometimes our expectations of others can become conditions we judge them by. And instead of giving them room for disagreement, failure and mistakes, we punish them by withdrawing and creating distance in our relationship.9

When we move towards others to restore them, it should be out of genuine love and concern for them.10 James tells us in James 3:17, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

We are only to speak those things that will benefit others, build them up, and promote spiritual growth (speaking the truth in love).11

Paul says in Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

C.J. Mahaney, in his book "Humility: True Greatness" writes about this verse that "Truly edifying words that reveal the character and the promises and the activity of God. They're cross-centered words. They're words rooted in and derived from Scripture, words that identify the active presence of God, and words that communicate evidences of grace that you observe in others. They're words that flow from a humble heart."

Reconciliation

Lastly, we are to demonstrate forgiveness and encourage a reasonable solution to the conflict according to Ken Sande.

Some years ago, I remember that I was really angry with someone for the wrong they did to me and the pain they caused me. I was certain that I was not going to forgive them, let alone reconcile with them. As I was walking out of my prayer room, the words "surely she has been forgiven much so she will love much" played in the background. I stopped in my tracks and began sobbing. I realized that I had no ground to stand on with my unforgiving attitude, holding the other person to their sin and refusing to be reconciled with them.

We have been ransomed, not with silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ (1 Peter 1:19). We are called to love one another earnestly from a pure heart (1 Peter 1:22).

As Ken Sande notes, forgiveness is a decision. When we make a decision to forgive we are committing to four promises: We promise we will not dwell on the incident, bring it up against the person, talk to others about it, or let it stand between us hindering our future relationship.

He mentions that loving actions towards the person once they are forgiven can both change your feelings towards the person and communicate in unmistakable terms the reality of your forgiveness.

Finally, when encouraging a reasonable solution to the conflict, Ken Sande mentions Philippians 2:4, which says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

As he notes, this does not mean that we only consider the other's wants and needs but rather that we think win-win. He writes that when we negotiate we should consider the following (PAUSE) steps. We are to Prepare, Affirm relationships, Understand interests (your own and the other person's), Search for creative solutions, Evaluate options objectively.

Just because we follow biblical principles in reconciliation does not mean the other will is well. They may continue to stir conflict and cause us pain. Peter says in 1 Peter 3:17-18, "For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil. For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit..."

Ken Sande writes that "It is the realization of who we are in Christ that inspires us to do the unnatural work of dying to self, confessing sin, addressing others' wrongs graciously, laying down rights, and forgiving deep hurts -even with people who persist in opposing or mistreating us."

He goes on to say that instead of reacting spitefully to those who mistreat you, discern their deepest needs and do all you can to meet them.

Lord, I long to look more like You, even if it means suffering trials. Help me to "Count it all joy" and form me more in your likeness.



1.Hayford, J. W., & Hagan, K. A. (1997). Passing Faith's Tests with Love and Joy : A study of James, 1&2 Peter, 1-3 John, Jude. Spirit-Filled Life Bible Discovery Guides. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

2.Hayford, J. W., & Hagan, K. A. (1997). Passing Faith's Tests with Love and Joy : A study of James, 1&2 Peter, 1-3 John, Jude. Spirit-Filled Life Bible Discovery Guides. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

3.Rev. Quinn Vaughn ~ August 23, 2009 ~ Faith Presbyterian Church, “In this life we will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world.” Message 11 from the Letter of James; Link: http://www.faithpresby.org/modules/fp_worship/files/files_4a930ecfc21c6.pdf

4.Rev. Quinn Vaughn ~ August 23, 2009 ~ Faith Presbyterian Church, “In this life we will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world.” Message 11 from the Letter of James; Link: http://www.faithpresby.org/modules/fp_worship/files/files_4a930ecfc21c6.pdf

5. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.

6. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.

7. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.

8. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.

9. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.

10. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.

11. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.

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