Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap...
Ruth 1:11-15
But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands?...No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord's hand has turned against me!” At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye, but Ruth clung to her. “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back with her people and her gods. God back with her.” But Ruth replied, “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.
Ruth, Naomi and Orpah lived in the time when judges ruled (Ruth 1:1). “In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 17:6). Orpah, which comes from the root word for "back of the neck", turns back home to her people and her gods.[1] While Ruth, which means “friend,” pledges her loyalty to Naomi and Naomi's God. [2]
Ruth, a Moabite, was one of only four women named in the Bible in the linage of Jesus. Ruth caught the eye of Boaz, one of their kinsman-redeemers (Ruth 2:20). Boez showed a great deal of favor towards Ruth. When she asked why, given she was a foreigner, Boez replied, “I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband -how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to find refuge.” (Ruth 2:11-12)
The mother of Boez, Rehab, was also a foreign woman. She was one of the other women that was named in the linage of Jesus. Rehab was a prostitute who took in the Israelite spies and hid them. She told them that the Lord was giving the land to the Israelites and all the people in Jericho were melting in fear. In faith, she protected the spies, helped them to get away, and showed loyalty to them. In return, she asked that they would spare her and her families life. The men told her, “This oath you made us swear will not be binding on us unless, when we enter the land, you have tied this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and unless you have brought your father and mother, your brothers and all your family into your house.” (Joshua 2:17-18)
Rehab found grace, mercy, hope for her future, and a place of refuge under the wings of the God of Israel. Her son's name, Boez, means “in him is strength” according to one source [3]. Many of the characteristics demonstrated by Boez were Christlike. Some of these characteristics were: godly, initiates, provides, protects, speaks kindly, shows hospitality, generous, shows favor and bestows grace (Ruth 2). [4] Boez showed kindness to Naomi and Ruth and brought them hope of a new life by fulfilling his role to them as a Kinsman-Redeemer.
Loyalty, Faithfulness and Loving-Kindness
As the Wikipedia notes about the book of Ruth, that loving-kindness is woven throughout the book of Ruth. Loving-kindness, comes from the Hebrew word “hesed” or “checed” which implies loyalty. The Wikipedia notes, “Both Ruth and Boaz demonstrate hesed to their family members throughout the story. These are not acts of kindness with an expectation of measure for measure. Rather, they are acts of hesed that go beyond measure and demonstrate that a person can be required to go beyond the minimum expectations of the law and choose the unexpected. However, the importance of the law is evident within the Book of Ruth, and the story reflects a need to stay within legal boundaries. Boaz, in going beyond measure in acquiring the property (demonstrating hesed), redeems not only the land but both Naomi and Ruth as well. The two widows now have a secure and protected future.”
Ruth was rich in loyalty and loving-kindness towards her mother-in-law Naomi. She left her homeland to come to live in a land she did not know. And she gave up what she thought would be any possibility for getting married again or having children to be with and support Naomi. Ruth was better to Naomi than seven sons (Ruth 4:15). Ruth didn't look for what she could obtain for herself, rather her loyalty and loving-kindness towards Naomi shined through all she did. Ruth willingly worked in the fields to support her mother-in-law. Because of this, she ended up in the fields of Boez.
Boez admired Ruth's loyalty and showed her great favor. When Ruth followed her mother-in-law's instructions in proposing a Levirate marriage to Boez, he told her, “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: you have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask.” (Ruth 3:10-11). Once married, Ruth was blessed with a son, Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David (Ruth 4:22).
In Luke 6:38 Jesus says, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Proverbs 20:6 (NRSV) says, “Many proclaim themselves loyal, but who can find one worthy of trust?”
And Proverbs 14:22 (AMP) says, "Do they not err who devise evil and wander from the way of life? But loving-kindness and mercy, loyalty and faithfulness, shall be to those who devise good."
Loving-kindness, loyalty, and faithfulness are all tied closely together in the word “hesed.” Hesed is Strong’s #2617. One article notes about the word: “When God revealed Himself to Moses on Mount Sinai, He described Himself as overflowing with goodness. This is one of the most significant words that describes God’s character (see Ps. 13:5). It is often translated as mercy (20:6; Ps. 6:4) and sometimes as lovingkindness (Ps. 17:7). The basic meaning of the word is “loyal love” or “steadfast love.” It refers to God’s loyalty and faithfulness to His covenant. This love is very similar to marital love, a love that is obligatory because of the marriage contract, but still intimate and voluntary. Hosea’s actions toward his unfaithful wife is a striking picture of God’s “faithful love” for the people of Israel (Hos. 1:1–3, 2:19; 3:1–5). In the New Testament, this characteristic of God is described as His grace (Gk. charis; John 1:17).” [5]
Another article notes, that the NIV translates hesed or checed as “love” while the NASB translates it as “loyalty”. They write, “It is interesting that the NASB supplies the word loyalty instead of mercy or love. However, when one thinks of love, he must realize love is shown via action - not just words or thoughts. When God shows love or mercy, He does so by a certain action. Loyalty invokes the idea of action because if one is loyal, they have been faithful. God is loyal to us and expects us to be loyal to others. Being loyal or faithful is an expression of love or mercy.” [6]
David understood the value of faithfulness and loyalty such as Ruth displayed. David showed a great deal of loyalty towards both Saul and Jonathan. And in Psalm 37:3 he says, “Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness [practice being faithful].
Yashab, the Hebrew word for dwell, means to sit, abide, inhabit, remain, take refuge, stay put, pitch tent, and live securely.
David goes on to say in Psalm 37, “Take delight in the the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun... I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread. They are always generous and lend freely; and their children will be a blessing.
Leaving the Past and Entering the Fullness of the Promises of God
This brings up the question for me of when and to whom are we to be loyal and when are we to be faithful and dwell in the land? Ecclesiastes notes that there is a time and season for everything:.. “a time to plant and a time to uproot... A time to tear down and a time to build... a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).
In Genesis 12:1 the Lord told Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I show you.”
And in Mark 10:28-30 when Peter spoke up and said, “We have left everything to follow you!” Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you,... no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age; homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields -along with persecutions- and in the age to come eternal life.”
In leaving, we are letting go of our past and those who would hold us there so that we can fully enter into the promises God has for us. “I am chosen, I am free, I am Living for eternity, Free now forever.... Now nothing's going to hold me back... Free to live, free to give, free to be, free to love You.” sings in the background.
When we enter into the promises of God, we are to demonstrate loyalty to the people God places in our lives and faithfulness in the land that God brings us. At the same time, letting go of our past. In both the letting go and the fully embracing what God has for us, we are following the Lord. If we hold on to past loyalties, it will hinder our ability to fully embrace what God has for us in the present. We will continually be looking back.
In Luke 9:59-62, Jesus said to a man, “Follow me.” And the man replied, “Lord, first let me go bury my father.” And Jesus told him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” And still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodby to my family.” Jesus told him, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Also, our hearts need to be set on pilgrimage with God, not on obtaining certain outcomes from Him. We are not looking for something better, or for greener grass around the corner. We are to be faithful and obedient wherever God is placing our feet and loyal to those He places in our lives to share our journey with. Our future will take care of itself as we put our whole hearts into what God has for us now.
“I will serve the Lord with all my heart, with my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength” sings in the background.
Ruth did not set her heart on having a husband or child. As Boez noted, she did not go around seeking out someone to marry, whether rich or poor. And as Boez also noted, she left behind those who had nurtured and raised her along with all that was familiar and comfortable to her, to come live with people she did not know.
Ruth saw something in Naomi that was pointing her towards God. And her heart/ spirit connected deeply with the heart / spirit of Naomi. And by following Naomi, Ruth was following the purposes of God for her life (“under whose wings you have come to find refuge”).
“Show me what it means to live my life a sacrifice” sings in the background.
I sometimes struggle with what leaving the past and embracing what God has for me now should look like in my life. There is one friend I have been struggling with what to do about from my previous church. She had nurtured and invested in me. She was also a very close friend to my previous pastor who passed on and she is the best friend of the senior pastor of my previous church. We connect on occasion, but our conversations usually end with her inviting me back to church events and me feeling guilty for having moved on. I keep thinking she will accept my moving on and we could be good friends again. However, I think I am fooling myself and not letting go of the past. I believe God may be speaking that I need to shut the door to this relationship completely and move on.
Connecting Deeply From the Heart
Even having lost her husband and two sons, Naomi did not try to cling to Ruth or Orpah. She encouraged both of them to return to their homes and find new husbands. In Naomi's pain, she selflessly thought of her daughter-in-laws rather than herself (and who would take care of her).
Naomi genuinely deeply loved and valued both of them as daughters and wanted the best for them. As John Maxwell notes, “the value you place on others must be genuine... people know in their gut if you really care about them.” Ruth knew in her heart that Naomi cared deeply about her so she could trust her unconditionally.
In Ruth 3:1, Naomi told Ruth, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for.” Ruth tells Naomi, “I will do whatever you say.” (Ruth 3:5).
As John Maxwell notes, it is mutual concern for each other that creates a heart connection between people. He writes, “You can connect with others if you are willing to get off your own agenda, to think about others, and try to understand who they are and what they want.” As he goes on to state, it is often our attitude that speaks more loudly than our words. [7]
Great leaders, as John Maxwell notes, are able to connect with people deeply at the heart. An anonymous quote I have on my work PC says, “Your ability to lead people in the future depends on your ability to connect with their hearts today.” As often the case with most managers, John Maxwell writes, “speakers and teachers believe that all they need to do is lay out a logical line of reasoning and people will be won over. It just doesn't work that way.” [8]
Part of Naomi's and Ruth's heart connection was that they shared a difficult personal experience. Both of them had lost their husbands. John Maxwell notes that shared personal experience often helps make the heart connection. Even when it is not spoken, one knows when someone can truly understand and relate because they have experienced it themselves. As John Maxwell notes, to try to speak into someones life on something without having lived it yourself, there is a credibility gap. [9]
People also connect visually. It is often our body language that speaks louder than our words. John Maxwell writes, “Connect visually by giving the other person your complete attention. The eyes are the windows of the soul; see the other person's heart and show your heart... Connect emotionally through facial expressions, laughter, and tears.” [10]
Naomi connected deeply with Ruth and earned her trust to lead her. Ruth followed, not because or Naomi's past success, but in her struggles. Naomi did not try to impress Ruth by trying to demonstrate she had her act together, rather she was real and genuine, and connected with Ruth in her brokenness, with all her pain and doubts. John Maxwell writes, “if you want people to identify with you, it's better to talk about your failures.” [11]
When we try to lead others based upon our successes, our ego can get in the way. [12] Whenever we lead others out of ego, we are looking to receive something (approval and praise) rather than looking to what we can give. [13]
John Maxwell quotes a letter to a speaker from their audience from a book called, “The Empowered Communicator” by Calvin Miller. It states, “We'll come back to you... when you're real enough to see us... after your dreams have been shattered... after your heart has been broken... after your arrogance has reckoned with despair. Then there will be room for all of us in your world. Then you won't care if we applaud your brilliance. You'll be one of us. Then you will tear down the ego wall and use those very stones to build a bridge of warm relationship.” [14]
It is in our brokenness that we are able to connect with broken people. Without brokenness we will judge others in their pain, causing them harm rather than good.
Lord, Thank you for the way that you so clearly demonstrate loyalty, faithfulness and loving-kindness in all you do. I long to look more like you. Forgive me where I have held onto the past. Show me how to let go and embrace all you have for me. And teach me how to truly connect with others.
Draw us into Your footsteps. We desire to look more like you. Help us to let go of the past and fully embrace all that you have for each one of us. And give us ears to hear, eyes to see, and hearts that deeply connect with those around us -especially those who are in pain and struggling.
1.Wikipedia. Book of Ruth. Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ruth. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
2.Wikipedia. Book of Ruth. Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ruth. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
3.Wikipedia. Book of Ruth. Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ruth. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
4.Ruth 2. Located At: http://www.preceptaustin.org/ruth_21-7.htm. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
5.Radmacher, E. D., Allen, R. B., & House, H. W. (1997). The Nelson study Bible : New King James Version. Includes index. (Ex 34:7). Nashville: T. Nelson Publishers.
6. Crawford, Scott. Word Study: Mercy or Checed in Hebrew. Available at: http://www.wordoftruthclass.org/articles/studyonmercy.pdf. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
7.-15. Maxwell, John. Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Thomas Nelson, Nashville, Tennesee. 2010.
But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands?...No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord's hand has turned against me!” At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye, but Ruth clung to her. “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back with her people and her gods. God back with her.” But Ruth replied, “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.
Ruth, Naomi and Orpah lived in the time when judges ruled (Ruth 1:1). “In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 17:6). Orpah, which comes from the root word for "back of the neck", turns back home to her people and her gods.[1] While Ruth, which means “friend,” pledges her loyalty to Naomi and Naomi's God. [2]
Ruth, a Moabite, was one of only four women named in the Bible in the linage of Jesus. Ruth caught the eye of Boaz, one of their kinsman-redeemers (Ruth 2:20). Boez showed a great deal of favor towards Ruth. When she asked why, given she was a foreigner, Boez replied, “I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband -how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to find refuge.” (Ruth 2:11-12)
The mother of Boez, Rehab, was also a foreign woman. She was one of the other women that was named in the linage of Jesus. Rehab was a prostitute who took in the Israelite spies and hid them. She told them that the Lord was giving the land to the Israelites and all the people in Jericho were melting in fear. In faith, she protected the spies, helped them to get away, and showed loyalty to them. In return, she asked that they would spare her and her families life. The men told her, “This oath you made us swear will not be binding on us unless, when we enter the land, you have tied this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and unless you have brought your father and mother, your brothers and all your family into your house.” (Joshua 2:17-18)
Rehab found grace, mercy, hope for her future, and a place of refuge under the wings of the God of Israel. Her son's name, Boez, means “in him is strength” according to one source [3]. Many of the characteristics demonstrated by Boez were Christlike. Some of these characteristics were: godly, initiates, provides, protects, speaks kindly, shows hospitality, generous, shows favor and bestows grace (Ruth 2). [4] Boez showed kindness to Naomi and Ruth and brought them hope of a new life by fulfilling his role to them as a Kinsman-Redeemer.
Loyalty, Faithfulness and Loving-Kindness
As the Wikipedia notes about the book of Ruth, that loving-kindness is woven throughout the book of Ruth. Loving-kindness, comes from the Hebrew word “hesed” or “checed” which implies loyalty. The Wikipedia notes, “Both Ruth and Boaz demonstrate hesed to their family members throughout the story. These are not acts of kindness with an expectation of measure for measure. Rather, they are acts of hesed that go beyond measure and demonstrate that a person can be required to go beyond the minimum expectations of the law and choose the unexpected. However, the importance of the law is evident within the Book of Ruth, and the story reflects a need to stay within legal boundaries. Boaz, in going beyond measure in acquiring the property (demonstrating hesed), redeems not only the land but both Naomi and Ruth as well. The two widows now have a secure and protected future.”
Ruth was rich in loyalty and loving-kindness towards her mother-in-law Naomi. She left her homeland to come to live in a land she did not know. And she gave up what she thought would be any possibility for getting married again or having children to be with and support Naomi. Ruth was better to Naomi than seven sons (Ruth 4:15). Ruth didn't look for what she could obtain for herself, rather her loyalty and loving-kindness towards Naomi shined through all she did. Ruth willingly worked in the fields to support her mother-in-law. Because of this, she ended up in the fields of Boez.
Boez admired Ruth's loyalty and showed her great favor. When Ruth followed her mother-in-law's instructions in proposing a Levirate marriage to Boez, he told her, “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: you have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask.” (Ruth 3:10-11). Once married, Ruth was blessed with a son, Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David (Ruth 4:22).
In Luke 6:38 Jesus says, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Proverbs 20:6 (NRSV) says, “Many proclaim themselves loyal, but who can find one worthy of trust?”
And Proverbs 14:22 (AMP) says, "Do they not err who devise evil and wander from the way of life? But loving-kindness and mercy, loyalty and faithfulness, shall be to those who devise good."
Loving-kindness, loyalty, and faithfulness are all tied closely together in the word “hesed.” Hesed is Strong’s #2617. One article notes about the word: “When God revealed Himself to Moses on Mount Sinai, He described Himself as overflowing with goodness. This is one of the most significant words that describes God’s character (see Ps. 13:5). It is often translated as mercy (20:6; Ps. 6:4) and sometimes as lovingkindness (Ps. 17:7). The basic meaning of the word is “loyal love” or “steadfast love.” It refers to God’s loyalty and faithfulness to His covenant. This love is very similar to marital love, a love that is obligatory because of the marriage contract, but still intimate and voluntary. Hosea’s actions toward his unfaithful wife is a striking picture of God’s “faithful love” for the people of Israel (Hos. 1:1–3, 2:19; 3:1–5). In the New Testament, this characteristic of God is described as His grace (Gk. charis; John 1:17).” [5]
Another article notes, that the NIV translates hesed or checed as “love” while the NASB translates it as “loyalty”. They write, “It is interesting that the NASB supplies the word loyalty instead of mercy or love. However, when one thinks of love, he must realize love is shown via action - not just words or thoughts. When God shows love or mercy, He does so by a certain action. Loyalty invokes the idea of action because if one is loyal, they have been faithful. God is loyal to us and expects us to be loyal to others. Being loyal or faithful is an expression of love or mercy.” [6]
David understood the value of faithfulness and loyalty such as Ruth displayed. David showed a great deal of loyalty towards both Saul and Jonathan. And in Psalm 37:3 he says, “Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness [practice being faithful].
Yashab, the Hebrew word for dwell, means to sit, abide, inhabit, remain, take refuge, stay put, pitch tent, and live securely.
David goes on to say in Psalm 37, “Take delight in the the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun... I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread. They are always generous and lend freely; and their children will be a blessing.
Leaving the Past and Entering the Fullness of the Promises of God
This brings up the question for me of when and to whom are we to be loyal and when are we to be faithful and dwell in the land? Ecclesiastes notes that there is a time and season for everything:.. “a time to plant and a time to uproot... A time to tear down and a time to build... a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).
In Genesis 12:1 the Lord told Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I show you.”
And in Mark 10:28-30 when Peter spoke up and said, “We have left everything to follow you!” Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you,... no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age; homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields -along with persecutions- and in the age to come eternal life.”
In leaving, we are letting go of our past and those who would hold us there so that we can fully enter into the promises God has for us. “I am chosen, I am free, I am Living for eternity, Free now forever.... Now nothing's going to hold me back... Free to live, free to give, free to be, free to love You.” sings in the background.
When we enter into the promises of God, we are to demonstrate loyalty to the people God places in our lives and faithfulness in the land that God brings us. At the same time, letting go of our past. In both the letting go and the fully embracing what God has for us, we are following the Lord. If we hold on to past loyalties, it will hinder our ability to fully embrace what God has for us in the present. We will continually be looking back.
In Luke 9:59-62, Jesus said to a man, “Follow me.” And the man replied, “Lord, first let me go bury my father.” And Jesus told him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” And still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodby to my family.” Jesus told him, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Also, our hearts need to be set on pilgrimage with God, not on obtaining certain outcomes from Him. We are not looking for something better, or for greener grass around the corner. We are to be faithful and obedient wherever God is placing our feet and loyal to those He places in our lives to share our journey with. Our future will take care of itself as we put our whole hearts into what God has for us now.
“I will serve the Lord with all my heart, with my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength” sings in the background.
Ruth did not set her heart on having a husband or child. As Boez noted, she did not go around seeking out someone to marry, whether rich or poor. And as Boez also noted, she left behind those who had nurtured and raised her along with all that was familiar and comfortable to her, to come live with people she did not know.
Ruth saw something in Naomi that was pointing her towards God. And her heart/ spirit connected deeply with the heart / spirit of Naomi. And by following Naomi, Ruth was following the purposes of God for her life (“under whose wings you have come to find refuge”).
“Show me what it means to live my life a sacrifice” sings in the background.
I sometimes struggle with what leaving the past and embracing what God has for me now should look like in my life. There is one friend I have been struggling with what to do about from my previous church. She had nurtured and invested in me. She was also a very close friend to my previous pastor who passed on and she is the best friend of the senior pastor of my previous church. We connect on occasion, but our conversations usually end with her inviting me back to church events and me feeling guilty for having moved on. I keep thinking she will accept my moving on and we could be good friends again. However, I think I am fooling myself and not letting go of the past. I believe God may be speaking that I need to shut the door to this relationship completely and move on.
Connecting Deeply From the Heart
Even having lost her husband and two sons, Naomi did not try to cling to Ruth or Orpah. She encouraged both of them to return to their homes and find new husbands. In Naomi's pain, she selflessly thought of her daughter-in-laws rather than herself (and who would take care of her).
Naomi genuinely deeply loved and valued both of them as daughters and wanted the best for them. As John Maxwell notes, “the value you place on others must be genuine... people know in their gut if you really care about them.” Ruth knew in her heart that Naomi cared deeply about her so she could trust her unconditionally.
In Ruth 3:1, Naomi told Ruth, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for.” Ruth tells Naomi, “I will do whatever you say.” (Ruth 3:5).
As John Maxwell notes, it is mutual concern for each other that creates a heart connection between people. He writes, “You can connect with others if you are willing to get off your own agenda, to think about others, and try to understand who they are and what they want.” As he goes on to state, it is often our attitude that speaks more loudly than our words. [7]
Great leaders, as John Maxwell notes, are able to connect with people deeply at the heart. An anonymous quote I have on my work PC says, “Your ability to lead people in the future depends on your ability to connect with their hearts today.” As often the case with most managers, John Maxwell writes, “speakers and teachers believe that all they need to do is lay out a logical line of reasoning and people will be won over. It just doesn't work that way.” [8]
Part of Naomi's and Ruth's heart connection was that they shared a difficult personal experience. Both of them had lost their husbands. John Maxwell notes that shared personal experience often helps make the heart connection. Even when it is not spoken, one knows when someone can truly understand and relate because they have experienced it themselves. As John Maxwell notes, to try to speak into someones life on something without having lived it yourself, there is a credibility gap. [9]
People also connect visually. It is often our body language that speaks louder than our words. John Maxwell writes, “Connect visually by giving the other person your complete attention. The eyes are the windows of the soul; see the other person's heart and show your heart... Connect emotionally through facial expressions, laughter, and tears.” [10]
Naomi connected deeply with Ruth and earned her trust to lead her. Ruth followed, not because or Naomi's past success, but in her struggles. Naomi did not try to impress Ruth by trying to demonstrate she had her act together, rather she was real and genuine, and connected with Ruth in her brokenness, with all her pain and doubts. John Maxwell writes, “if you want people to identify with you, it's better to talk about your failures.” [11]
When we try to lead others based upon our successes, our ego can get in the way. [12] Whenever we lead others out of ego, we are looking to receive something (approval and praise) rather than looking to what we can give. [13]
John Maxwell quotes a letter to a speaker from their audience from a book called, “The Empowered Communicator” by Calvin Miller. It states, “We'll come back to you... when you're real enough to see us... after your dreams have been shattered... after your heart has been broken... after your arrogance has reckoned with despair. Then there will be room for all of us in your world. Then you won't care if we applaud your brilliance. You'll be one of us. Then you will tear down the ego wall and use those very stones to build a bridge of warm relationship.” [14]
It is in our brokenness that we are able to connect with broken people. Without brokenness we will judge others in their pain, causing them harm rather than good.
John Maxwell notes that good connectors possess the ability to make others feel comfortable, show interest in others, initiate interaction with others, genuinely want to know who people are, what they care about, where they come from, and what they can offer to them. When a person is a giver, they lead “out of love, grace, gratitude, compassion, passion, and the overflow” They are continually looking for way to add value to the people around them. [15]“Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her” sings in the background.
Lord, Thank you for the way that you so clearly demonstrate loyalty, faithfulness and loving-kindness in all you do. I long to look more like you. Forgive me where I have held onto the past. Show me how to let go and embrace all you have for me. And teach me how to truly connect with others.
Draw us into Your footsteps. We desire to look more like you. Help us to let go of the past and fully embrace all that you have for each one of us. And give us ears to hear, eyes to see, and hearts that deeply connect with those around us -especially those who are in pain and struggling.
1.Wikipedia. Book of Ruth. Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ruth. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
2.Wikipedia. Book of Ruth. Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ruth. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
3.Wikipedia. Book of Ruth. Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ruth. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
4.Ruth 2. Located At: http://www.preceptaustin.org/ruth_21-7.htm. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
5.Radmacher, E. D., Allen, R. B., & House, H. W. (1997). The Nelson study Bible : New King James Version. Includes index. (Ex 34:7). Nashville: T. Nelson Publishers.
6. Crawford, Scott. Word Study: Mercy or Checed in Hebrew. Available at: http://www.wordoftruthclass.org/articles/studyonmercy.pdf. Last Accessed: 5/18/10.
7.-15. Maxwell, John. Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Thomas Nelson, Nashville, Tennesee. 2010.
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