“Jeremiah, what do you see?”
“Then the
word of the Lord came to me, saying:
'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
Before you were born I sanctified you;
I ordained you a prophet to the nations.'
Then said I:
'Ah, Lord God!
Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth.'
But the Lord said to me:
'Do not say, 'I am a youth,'
For you shall go to all to whom I send you,
And whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of their faces,
For I am with you to deliver you,' says the Lord.'
Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord
said to me:
'Behold, I have put My words in your mouth.
See, I have this day set you over the nations and over the kingdoms,
To root out and to pull down,
To destroy and to throw down,
To build and to plant.'
Moreover the
word of the Lord came to me saying,
'Jeremiah, what do you see?'
And I said,
'I see a branch of an almond tree.'
Then the Lord said to me,
'You have seen well, for I am ready to perform my word.
And the word of the Lord came to me a second time, saying,
'What do you see?'
And I said,
'I see a boiling pot, and it is facing away from the north.'
Then the Lord
said to me:
'Out of the north calamity shall break forth on all the inhabitants
of the land.
For behold, I am calling all the families of the kingdoms of the
north, says the Lord;
They shall come and each one set his throne at the entrance of the
gates of Jerusalem
Against all its wall all around,
And against all the cities of Judah.
I will utter My judgments against them concerning all their
wickedness
Because they have forsaken Me,
Burned incense to other gods,
And worshiped the words of their own hands.'
'Therefore prepare yourself and arise,
And speak to them all that I command you.
Do not be dismayed before their faces,
lest I dismay you before them.
For behold, I have made you this day
A fortified city and an iron pillar,
And bronze walls against the whole land.
Against the kings of Judah,
Against its princes,
Against its priests,
And against the people of the land.
They will fight against you,
But they shall not prevail against you.
For I am with you,' says the Lord, 'to deliver you.'”
(Jeremiah
1)
In Jeremiah 1, The Lord
paints a beautiful picture of what it looks like to be a good
father.
God calls forth His
purposes from Jeremiah.
The Lord
had purpose for Jeremiah before he was even born. The Lord had set
him apart for those purposes and sanctified him in the womb of his
mother. He was called and ordained to be a prophet.
For every
child, we can bless and pray for their purpose to come forth and days
to be ordered by the Lord before they are born. God establishes
their purpose and their days are ordained by Him before one comes to
be.[a]
“For you created my inmost
being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your
eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”
As parents, our job is
notice and see the purposes of God coming forth in our children and
speak them forth. We are to bless our children and call forth life
from them rather than form them to our purposes. Proverbs 19:21
says, “Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose
for him that will stand.”
The Jackson's write in their book on parenting,
“Ephesians 2:10 says, 'For we are God's workmanship, created in
Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us
to do.' The goal of hearts changed and invited into God's 'good
works' is enhanced when parents focus on long-term, 'big picture'
thinking instead of disciplining with a focus on simply punishing
misbehavior to make it stop quickly. This kind of thoughtful
discipline helps children understand God's purposes for them and
builds the values and skills necessary to walk fully in these
purposes. Parents can find and build these strengths in a child,
even in misbehavior.”[1]
God
empowered Jeremiah with the gifts that would help hem fulfill his
calling.
Our children our wired for
the purpose that God formed them. Like Jeremiah, God has blessed and
empowered them with many gifts that will help them fulfill this
purpose. Romans 11:29 says, “for the gifts and the calling of God
are irrevocable.”
We can see these gifts in
our children, acknowledge them, and make room for them to use them.
It may be as simple as noticing how they enjoy certain activities
more than others. As they try things they begin to find their
natural strengths and areas of enjoyment.
Most kids have no clue what
they are good at or will enjoy. We can encourage them to try many
things and enter into the discovery process with them. God did not
tell Jeremiah he was too young to use his gifts, rather He validated
and empowered the giftings within Jeremiah.
The areas of gifting and
strength often point to a child's greater purpose. For my own son,
when he was young he loved experimenting. He also loved building
electronic devices and taking apart electronic items such as radios.
He would explore science, electronics, and robotics. As he became
older, he would even use his own money to buy books on electronics.
Eventually this all pointed
him into the direction of becoming an electrical engineer who also
oversees the work of electricians. He also loved classical music
when he grew into his teens and adulthood. As he
has grown older, he has gained a great music appreciation. Then
later he met the girl of his dreams who plays multiple instruments
and makes classical style music.
I also think of an example
with one of my employees. Some years ago I hired an employee for a
specific high level financial role. He was new to this position but
felt ready and determined to step into it. He had all the background
he needed for this role with education, training and experience.
However, as he stepped into
the role, it was not a good fit for him. Not that he was not bright enough to
figure it out, but he seemed to just not be a good match and have a hard time to focus on the pieces that needed the most attention.
As I came to know him better
and see him work, I could see that he was exceptionally good at
connecting with people, communicating, big picture thinking,
administrating and organizing. What I began to also see was that he
disliked the level of detail, hours of number analysis, and lack of people
connection that this role required.
If he would not have stepped
out, he would have never realized that this was not a good role for
him. As I was praying and seeking God for what to do, I had a
dream. In my dream he was working for one of our departments in a
specific role that he was doing amazingly well at. In my dream, I
was stunned at the difference.
As part of his development,
I affirmed the areas of gifting within him and explored and acknowledged the areas
that did not seem to be a strength or area of enjoyment. And after
praying about it, I moved him into a position that provided much more
connection with people and opportunity to utilize his giftings. I
also began to see that his giftings pointed clearly to a strong fit
with this position I saw him performing in my dream. As we talked
about career path, I mentioned to him that he may want to explore
this position for the long term.
Ironically, a few weeks
later that specific position opened up in the specific department
that I saw him performing in my dream. A few days later this
employee showed up in my office to tell me that they had explored an
opportunity that came up and was really interested in moving towards
it. He wanted my blessing on it. It was the position that I had a
dream about for the specific department. I didn't tell this
employee about the dream until a few days ago but he is doing this higher level
position in this department and is amazingly good at it. He loves
it! I had the opportunity to train him for some of this position and
now work side by side with him in his new role.
All of that to say that God
knows how he formed each one of us and how we best function. He
knows where we will thrive in our strengths and where we will strive
in our weaknesses. If God will speak to me for directing an
employee, how much more will he speak to me on my very own child.
We can pray and seek God
asking for direction in guiding our children base on how they are
wired. We can ask God to help us see and affirm how He has made
them.
God affirmed and called
forth Jeremiah in his purpose by leading him by the heart.
As we point and direct our
children to having a relationship with Jesus, and as they learn to
delight in Him for themselves, we can trust that God will direct
their path according to His plan.
Psalm 37:4,23 says, “Take
delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your
heart... The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he
delights in his way...”
God directed Jeremiah's
steps initially by engaging Jeremiah and leading him by the heart.
The way the Lord approached Jeremiah was to first ask questions,
bringing what was on his heart to the surface and then validate and
enter into his world from there. The Lord asked, “Jeremiah, what
do you see?
Hearing the hearts of our
children can help us to engage them, connect with them and lead
them. We can ask our children, what did you see today? What
touched your heart? What hurt your heart?
Over and over, it is proven
that learning and growth happen not just by situation and experience
but by our processing of those experiences. We want to make sure
that we are making the room and time for our children to process
their experiences so that they learn and grow from them.
At a discussion I was at a
little over a week ago (a prayer intensive for “Restoring the
Heart of the Family"), one of the speakers shared a process he goes
through at dinner time everyday with his family. He considers their dinner table an altar where they worship God together as a family. They have a heart
that they pass around to each other as they eat dinner. The one who
is passed the heart shares with the others something that moved or
touched their heart (good or bad) that day.
Not only did God ask
Jeremiah some questions to bring clarity and listen to him, but then He connected with Jeremiah by engaging
his heart. The Lord affirmed what Jeremiah saw and then shared in
it. By doing this, God validated Jeremiah, how he was wired and what
he was experiencing from the heart.
I once had a dream where
there was a poor person who was very sad and she was sitting under a
directional sign looking to me. All she needed to do was look up.
How this picture helped me was to make sure I was pointing people to
God, validating and encouraging their hearts in a way that is healthy
for them, and not further dis-empowering them by telling them what to
do like everyone else did.
Often where there is
relationship of unequal power, the weaker one looks will look to the
one with more power to tell them what to do. Talking frequently
with people who struggle with mental illness, I find that some
really struggle with thinking they can make decisions for
themselves. They think they need other people to tell them what to
do.
How they begin to get
freedom to make good decisions is not by being told again by someone
else what to think and do but by letting them speak out what is on
their heart and validating and encouraging those things that are
beneficial for them (as well as explore the consequences of those
things that are not good for them). As they learn to make
decisions for themselves from their heart, they begin to feel
empowered to own their future rather than a helpless victim of it.
In the same way, our
children learn good decision making as we grow their capacity by
validation of the things in their heart that good and right and
exploring the consequences of those things that are not good choices.
By listening, encouraging, validating and exploring with them, we
can help them to learn and grow in godly character from the heart and
begin to make choices that are right for them.
Often in teen years it seems
that children often stumble when they are following the crowd. They
allow others to make their choices for them and go along with the
crowd rather than doing what their heart says is right. By
strengthening, validating and encouraging right choices, they are
more able to stand against the tremendous peer pressure they will
feel at this age.
God entered into
Jeremiah's world of what was on his heart and then encouraged
Jeremiah to arise and put his hand to what his heart prompted. [b]
God not only took the time
to ask Jeremiah questions, drawing out what was on his heart and
validating it, He then shares in it with Jeremiah. He gives
Jeremiah more perspective around what he is seeing. He helps him to
get more clarity on it. God
entered into Jeremiah's world by participating with him in the things
that mattered to Jeremiah.
We can enter more into our
children's lives by getting down and seeing the world from their
level. We are then in a position to enter with them into what is on
their heart and help them to get greater clarity and perspective on
it.
By being face to face with our children and genuinely listening to them, we are communicating that they have value and what they say and think has value. To show we are genuinely listening, we can ask them questions for clarification and reflect back what they are saying to us. What we are listening for is the heart of what they say more than the words.
As we hear their heart, we can validate and empathize with their emotions. Here is an example, "I can see you are feeling really excited about ... , I am excited for you too." Or I can see that made you very sad, sometimes I am sad too." By reflecting back and hearing their heart, we are entering into their world and helping them get greater clarity and perspective.
I strongly validate the good in them rather than focus on what is
negative about their behavior or conversation. It is amazing how
often a conversation will then move in the direction where the person
feels validated. They most often begin to get more perspective and
strength in this area.
Once Jeremiah has a full and
clear perspective, God then calls Jeremiah to action. He asks
Jeremiah to put his hands to what his heart prompted. God connected
with what was on Jeremiah's heart and encouraged movement towards
this. The Lord told him to prepare himself, arise, and speak.
Rather than always expecting
our kids to see things from our perspective and enter into what we
value, telling our children what we want them to do and expecting
them to comply, we can enter into their worlds by getting down and
seeing things at their level, helping them gain perspective then
exploring with them how to move towards their godly heart
perspectives.
I met a very young lady some
years ago at a place that cared for the needs of the homeless (The
Marie Sandvik Center). We were all working together on putting
together care packages for the homeless. What I especially loved
was hearing this young lady's story.
She had wanted to do
something to help the poor. Her family then sat down and explored
what they could do. They decided based upon her initiative and lead
to give several items they owned and then collect several items for
care packages for the poor. They then brought these articles to The
Marie Sandvik Center as they were helping with putting together care packages.
As the whole family worked together on putting together packages for
the poor, this young child was just glowing with purpose, excitement
and joy.
As another example, just
this last weekend I spoke with another very young lady who
participated in a triathlon event to support children with cancer.
She had raised over $1000 to this cause. She was bursting with
excitement about it. I could tell she was taking full ownership of
the activities she involved herself in as her mother stopped me to introduce me because this young lady wanted to know who I was just because I had given a little
to support her in her cause.
God loved Jeremiah
unconditionally.
Most importantly, God
clearly communicates his love and support for Jeremiah. He was going
to be with him to help him and support him as he followed his heart
into what God had for him. Jeremiah was terribly insecure about
his age. Without God's unconditional love, he would have never had
the courage to face the challenge. God made it clear over and over
that he was with him to deliver him and would help see him through.
This love gave Jeremiah the courage to stand in the face of
tremendous opposition.
In the same way, what our
kids need most from us is unconditional love. They need to know
whether they arise or stay sitting, whether they succeed or fail, and
whether their hearts are for good or for bad, that they are deeply
loved and cherished.
It is in loving our children
that they can learn, grow, become and enter into the purposes God
has for them. Without this love, children our typically stuck and
held back in fear. They do not have the capacity to explore their
hearts because they are too worried about being received and
accepted. Love and acceptance is the deepest and first need that
every child has to have met.
The Jackson's write about
when they are intentional in conversations with their child, and spend time
preparing their heart's beforehand, that the following is what their
child hears:
- “I am for you”
- “I love you no mater what”
- “You are capable of getting through this and resolving it”
- “You are responsible and, even if your consequence is hard for you, I am here.”[2]
These are the same messages that God was clearly communicating to Jeremiah. Ultimately it is unconditional love that God is continually communicating to us and that we want to communicate to our children.
Lord, the message that you demonstrate to all your children is first and foremost that you love us deeply and are with us. Help us to communicate this same message clearly to our children. Fill us with your love and purposes for them. Help us to be more like you in our parenting.
a.
A child
may be able to connect to an extent with the outside world through
their mother while still in the womb. John the Baptist responds to
the world around him while he is in his mother's Elizabeth's womb by
leaping when Mary came to visit pregnant with the Messiah. We can bless, sing over, pray over, proclaim purpose and proclaim ours and God's love over them before they are born.
b.
While it is not mentioned in
the text, I believe that by being with God regularly and hearing His
heart of what He loved and valued, Jeremiah began to share and
incorporate these same values in his own life.
1-2. Jim and Lynne Jackson. Discipline that connects with Your Child's Heart. Connected Families, Chaska, MN. 2012.
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