I lift my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from?

I closed my eyes and could see this mountain that I had drew and pictured several years ago.  In this previous picture, all my energy was being put in climbing to the top because I so longed to be face to face with God.  I would constantly read books like “The Pursuit of God”, “Face to Face With God”, and “Crazy Love.” These books would stir me and encourage me to chase after God.

But, in this picture I was seeing now, I was not climbing the mountain. I was standing back from it and just taking it in - enjoying it.   I had an overwhelming sense of God's presence all around me.  He was everywhere and in everything. I stood there in the midst of His love surrounding and enveloping me on every side. I knew without a doubt God was just as much with me right where I was as He would be at the top of the mountain.  So I no longer needed to push myself to climb it.  

I looked down and my feet were in a clear stream river that was flowing - it was a river of life.  Then I looked around and saw my kids standing in the river with me too.  I was delighted about this I said in my heart, "This is what life (zoe) is!"

I had longed to get to a place of this zoe life only to have this realization that I think it perhaps found me. Yet not the comfortable kind of life where you plan everything out and it all comes together. Rather, it is a messy kind of life that sometimes even feels more like carrying a piano across a tight rope. I never know one day to the next what is in store.   It is filled with ups, downs, turns and twists.

Ironically, I am not finding this life in the quiet places I thought I would-like reading and meditating on the Word and praying.  Rather, I am finding this life of God in the midst of the hectic craziness and noisiness of an incredibly busy life.

I think of the Israelites coming out from their slavery into freedom. It was as they were standing at the base of the mountain  that they began to hear directly from God. 

And as the Israelites began to taste and walk in the life of God, sometimes they were not sure they wanted it. This life was not an easy one... it meant drinking from bitter waters at times, learning new ways, following new rules, and trusting God daily for provision. More than once they complained and asked to go back from their journey. While God provided for them every step of the way miraculously, it was frightening leaving the comfort of the known for the unexpected.

Even seeing the Promised Land, the people reeled as they realized it was not going to be handed to them as they probably had pictured. They were going to have to enter into unexpected battles that were going to push them, test them, challenge them, and change them. One thing they knew for sure, they were way over their heads in their own strength.

Ever been there? Over your head and you know it? not certain you want to trust God and move forward?

Joshua and Caleb were in this place of being over their head but they also saw that God was more than able bring them into all He promised to them. Instead of shrinking back in fear, they believed.  They saw something different than the rest and moved toward the promise with enthusiasm.   

The only way the Israelites were going to be able to receive the promises God had for them was if they could also see and believe with eyes of faith. And in moving towards the promises they were going to have to engage in battles and fight for it.

Lord, forgive me where I am more like the complaining Israelites than seeing the joy and wonder of it all. I know above all that You are good and Your plans are good. Thank you for the incredible life You have given me.  Help us to see with eyes of faith and move forward into all You have for us.