God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

“Haman (to the king): All the provinces in your kingdom of overrun with on insignificant group of foreigners, people who haven't adopted our customs. Their laws differ from all other peoples', and they do not keep your laws. Therefore it's not a good idea for you to tolerate them or their actions any longer. If it is your wish, sign an order that these people be destroyed, and I will bear all the costs.” (Esther 3:8-9a)

Haman and the king could hate the Jews and agree to destroy them because they saw them as different. They were the objectified “them” that was in opposition. They did not see the Jews as part of the “us” they belonged to.

The Pharaoh and the Egyptians had done the same thing. They saw the Jews as outside of them – the opposition that was a threat. As a result, they objectified and were threatened by the Jews. This led them to keeping the Jews in brutal slavery and even killing all their male children.

When we use the language “us and them”, we are automatically putting people on opposing sides. “Us” is a term we use to describe our people... the ones we feel we are standing on the same side as. It is a term of belonging for those who are included. “Them” is the term we use to describe the other side... those who are against us, different from us or just not in the same circle as us. We (as “us”) identify ourselves separate from “them.”  Because we do not identify with "them", it automatically creates division.

Gangs divide people into groups of belonging. If someone is in your gang, they have your back. You are all on the same side and support each other. Gangs thrive on people's need to belong and also for their need for security – as those who are with them in their gang protect them.

Gregory Boyle, in his book “Tattoos on the Heart” talks about an organization that he founded called Homeboy Industries. One of the things that this organization did was to bring together people from different gangs and teach them to work together. As they overcame their gang biases of those who had been the opposing “them”, they learned to embrace others they once hated.

We create an us versus them mentality with nations – it is us in America, or them from somewhere else. Can we really ever trust them?... because they are not us. We do this at our works – us in our company and/or us in our team. We even do this on the playgrounds at schools. Starting in grade school there are teams, cliques and groups that are comprised of us and opposing to them. We create division.

The us verses them mentality is common and the question becomes... whose side are you on? Are you with “them” or are you with “us.” To identify with a specific group of us means that one typically is de-identifying in some way with them. 

 

Why it is often so hard to see is that it hits on our need for belonging.   We need to belong to others.   We need to feel genuinely loved, cared for, and a part of a larger group.   Where it turns into us versus them, is the sense that in order for me to belong, someone had to not belong (be excluded).

 

Did Jesus have an us and a them? I think one of the biggest problems that people had with Jesus is that He didn't seem to follow these unwritten rules. Them to the religious leaders were the sinners and Jesus hung out with them. Them to the Jews were the Romans and Jesus said to serve them and He gladly reached out to heal them. Them to many of the common folk were the tax collectors and Jesus invited Himself over to their house for dinner. Jesus gladly hung out with everyone from every background, position, and reputation.

Acts 17:26 says, “From one man He made every nation of men, to inhabit the whole earth; and He determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their lands.”

And Ephesians 2:17-19 says, “AND HE CAME AND PREACHED PEACE TO YOU WHO WERE FAR AWAY, AND PEACE TO THOSE WHO WERE NEAR; for through Him we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God's household...”

God made all people and they belong to Him. Those people we see as them, He loves just as much as He loves us. Jonah struggled deeply with this. He saw the people of Nineveh as them and wanted to see them destroyed. When God asked him to bring a word to these people, he ran the other way. Yet God pointed out later, Jonah cared for a plant that grew up over night yet couldn't have mercy on an entire nation of people.

God confronted Jonah because his attitude of us versus them was sin. This type of attitude automatically puts us in a position to show partiality.

Malachi confronts the people for showing partiality (to us over them) in Malachi 2:10, “ ...you are not keeping My ways but are showing partiality in the instruction. Do we not all have one Father? Didn't one God create us? Why then do we act treacherously against one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers?”

Deuteronomy 1:17 says, “'You shall not show partiality in judgment; you shall hear the small and the great alike.”

As we are to walk together with Jesus in Christ-likeness, we are called to include all people and treat them equally with respect.  What does it look like to make every person we encounter as one of "us" and include them?  Paul sets an excellent example of this for us to follow.

In 1 Corinthians 19:23 Paul says, “ Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”

Lord, forgive me wherever I have held an us versus them mentality. Help us to see where we have fallen into this trap and weed it out of our lives. Give us hearts like You that are quick to include all at our table with no partiality or taking sides.