Count it all joy and get back up!

There is a story in Genesis 38:2 where the Lord takes Judah’s first born son, Er right as he was married to Tamar and before they could conceive because he was evil. So then it was the responsibility of Er’s brother Onan to marry Tamar and produce an heir for his brother. Rather than giving her a child, he prevented her from having a child that would belong to his brother so the Lord took Onan’s life too. So then Judah promises Tamar the third son when he is old enough but did not give him to her out of fear that he would die too. Tamar, after waiting a long time, covers her face and pretends to be a prostitute. She sleeps with Judah (who was widowed) and bares him twin sons who are considered the heir of Er. In doing this, she ends up in the lineage of Jesus.

A few things that are interesting in this story are:

Tamar’s Name

Tamar is named after a palm tree that bears fruit. It is a tree that stands up in the storms of life well and still produces under heavy weight. It was etched in the temple of the Lord as it represented flourishing, peace, victory, endurance, fertility, provision, and eternal life. Palm branches were waved as praise as people shouted ‘Hosanna’ and placed under His feet when Jesus rode into Jerusalem. What is also interesting about a palm tree is that it’s trunk grows from the inside out. Tamar was born under a name of resiliency that could withstand the storms, flourished in difficulty, and grew from the inside out—a picture of Christianity.

The Other Tamars

David named one of his daughters after Tamar. She was Absalom’s full sister and was raped by her older half-brother, Amnon. She lived shut away in shame over the incident and Absalom then kills Amnon in vengeance. This is a sad story where this Tamar does not flourish but allows the difficult life situation to crush her and leave her brother bitter and angry as well. The only consolation in the story is that Absalom names his daughter Tamar as well. While we do not know much about her, we know she is a beautiful woman.

Spiritual Warfare

The initial Tamar from the Bible struggled with having an heir. Not because she was not fertile, but that those who she joined herself with in Judah’s line were all evil and died early. While we don’t know all of her story, I imagine maybe at some time she was given a word from the Lord either directly or through a prophet that she would be doubly fruitful and have a son that would be in the lineage of Judah that would carry the scepter as initially promised in a prophesy of Jacob to Judah.

Just as my pastor mentioned this past weekend, sometimes our purpose comes out of our areas of pain and disappointment. Tamar did not throw up her hands and just walk away in grief when her spouse died, when her brother-in-law used her, or even when her father-in-law neglected her rights. Out of this incredibly painful area of wanting a child and losing her husband, being used by his brother, and denied by her father-in-law, she persisted.

“Your never gonna let me down” sings in the background.

It was because of her persistence that she ultimately had great fruit. She held to this desire for an heir by faith and refused to give it up. She refused to settle for less than all God had for her and so she tricked Judah to have an heir. Despite her deceit and trickery, the Lord had mercy on her and gave her the heir she was promised. Tamar, who is persistent, despite all the difficulties in having a son that is an heir for Er, ends up specifically listed and named in the lineage of Jesus.

Tamar had Pain and Obstacles

Tamar’s journey was not easy to say the least. There were many reasons to become discouraged. Like the second Tamar, there were many reasons to hide in shame and sit down in her pain. But God had something more for her if she would press in. Like the Palm tree that bears fruit in every situation, there is something that is powerful that comes from persistence and not giving up under poor and discouraging circumstances. If we hold to our faith and hold to our hope, good things are coming our direction from it. We are not to sit down and give up. God is faithful.

I have seen people sit down and give up. They are usually miserable. When I worked on a suicide hotline, I encountered them all the time. They were in pain and stuck. Like Tamar, Absalom’s sister, they are justified in their pain but needed to be moved forward from it. I remember talking with one man in his 50s, raging in anger, and he told me, “you don’t know the abuse I went through as a child.” I didn’t, but I knew that still sitting in it 30 some years later was not doing him any good at all. To rage and be bitter about it was only leaving him frustrated and miserable. God could heal him but he needed to forgive and move towards his healing.

Like Absalom killing Amnon, staying angry and bitter, even when justified, only leads to our death. It may be a spiritual death or even lead to our physical death. Unforgiveness opens the door in our life to depression, anger, health issues and other things that are harmful to us. My dad struggled for years with unforgiveness and bitterness towards his father. It may have been justified, and his father’s anger and bitterness may have been justified as well, but neither helped them. It left them stuck, in pain and wounded in the way they dealt with others.

My boy’s biological mom is stuck in this right now too. She is angry with her mother and bitter that things were not different for her. She wasn’t raised in a good environment that caused her to flourish. As a result of her instability and woundedness, she had a hard time with a marriage partner and raising children. It was beyond her capacity.

My boys have been the opposite. I have been especially proud of my middle child. No matter what happens, he floats. He is resilient. His biological folks both left him and he had significant health issues that were partially a result of neglect. He came to me with tons of issues. But instead of quitting or feeling sorry for himself, he has worked hard. He worked hard physically and went from having significant motor skill issues to being an athlete. He worked hard mentally and went from the bottom 1% on testing to above average. He even learned to take care of his kidneys and manage his health well and has seen them improved over the years as we have prayed. He had a dream of going to college and last year, was accepted into PSEO. Then he struggled with the level of work and couldn’t stay in it. He didn’t get upset about it, or become discouraged and sit down, he just determined a different path to get into college after high school and community college. He has not let go of his dreams and I am so proud of him for this. He has incredible perseverance.

I am proud of my husband for this as well. He went through a time of loss after loss as he lost his job, his driver’s license and ability to get around independently due to a rare eye disease that made him legally blind. Yet he never became bitter, depressed or angry about it. He didn’t sit in his fear about it either when the doctor said he would be totally blind in 5 years. We fostered and then adopted two boys and he became the best stay at home dad they could ever have. And rather than losing all his sight like the doctors said he would, he has kept his direct vision. God has been good to us in the midst of it.

Sitting down in our pain, feeling sorry for ourselves and quitting when it gets hard does not help us learn perseverance or get to where God wants to take us. It holds us back. The more we learn to persevere and keep hoping, trusting the Lord, forgiving and moving forward, we can count on God getting us to our destiny.

Persistence and Perseverance Matters

It says about Abraham that he hoped beyond all hope. His wife was too old to have children, the situation seemed impossible, but Abraham believed. He didn’t doubt, give up, sit down or run away. When it got tough and looked the most impossible, he still believed God would come through and be faithful. In the same way, Tamar stayed believing and hoping for an heir. She didn’t become defeated, get into self-pity or fling up her hands and say, God must not have that for me and walk away.

It is through God that we find our strength. As Paul found during his time of ministry, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. We are in no way stuck or in lack unless we choose to be. The Lord promises that when we look to Him and trust Him that He will make us mount up like eagles and soar over every difficulty that comes our way. He will help us and lift us up when we are down. He does not leave us stuck in our pain unless we just refuse to take His hand and get up by His strength.

“For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” (Proverbs 24:16)

Despite our Shortcomings

God’s response when we are at our worst, is to see us with eyes of love and mercy – not rejection or disgust. God was faithful to meet Tamar and give her a child in the line of not only Judah but the lineage of Jesus. In all her pain and longing, God answered her in a powerful way. God didn’t disqualify her for manipulating Judah and pretending to be a prostitute rather than confront him directly. We also see this with Abraham and taking Sarah’s slave girl as his wife rather than waiting on God. His doubt didn’t disqualify him. Even John the Baptist, the greatest among men of faith, sent his disciple to Jesus for reassurance when he was about to be killed. But God’s promises are sure.

When I look at the promises God has made in my life, He has always shown Himself to be faithful, even despite my shortcomings too. Some 18ish or more years ago, God spoke to me that He was returning in my lifetime. I was so joy-filled about this, but when I mentioned it to others, they thought I was off the wall. Over time, I became discouraged and just sat down for a time. It was awful and I felt lethargic. Then one day, about 3-4 years ago, He invited me to get back up and join Him in waiting and preparing for His return and help press in for revival.

At the same time, He spoke to me that we were coming into a season where people everywhere would believe He is returning. And He has been faithful, in everywhere I go where they know Jesus, they proclaim that Jesus is returning. While it may appear dark and even get more difficult with wars, smog and disparity between the have’s and the have not’s, one day we will all stand together and every tongue will confess He is Lord.

Lord, help us to be persistent in every situation and circumstance. Help us to never give up but keep getting up by Your strength as we trust You for the victory. You are able to do more than we can ask or imagine.