Sing!

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.   God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.  The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; He utters his voice, the earth melts.  The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”  (Psalm 46:4-7)

In Zachariah 2:10, it says “Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion, for behold, I come and I will dwell in your midst, declares the Lord.”

 And Isaiah 12:5-6, “Sing to the LORD, for He has done glorious things. Let this be known in all the earth. Cry out and sing, O citizen of Zion, for great among you is the Holy One of Israel.”

My favorite, a verse I hold dear as God spoke it over my life shortly after I came to know Christ and then let me watch Him bring it to pass, is Zephaniah 3:14-17,

“Sing for joy, O Daughter of Zion; shout aloud, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem!  The LORD has taken away your punishment; He has turned back your enemy. Israel’s King, the LORD, is among you; no longer will you fear any harm.  On that day they will say to Jerusalem: “Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands fall limp.”

I struggled with a fear of disaster and God has done so much to set me free over the years.  I am grateful.  Where I used to carry so much anxiety, I do not panic or fear disaster.   I know that God is there and look for Him to speak to me in it. 

There are sometimes where God has given me so much joy that it has been hard to contain.   I have felt this overflowing uncontainable joy in His purposes coming forth.  It has felt like I was on the top of the world and about to burst. 

There are other times, especially the last few years, that I seem to lack joy.   I can struggle with stress when things get heavy and difficult.  When I feel buried, I want to unbury myself. I let stress get the best of me.   I know He is working all things for my good, but I get into self-effort and want to make something happen in my own strength rather than wait on Him when difficult circumstances happen.  I believe the stress is caused by my lack of ability to fully bend and trust God in difficult circumstances. 

As a result, I can get overly busy doing and trying to make something happen to right a situation.  Another thing that I can struggle with under stress due to difficulty is to pick up resentment.   While I recognize when fear, depression, self-pity, or other emotions that are contrary to walking in God’s peace try to encroach on my life and I refuse it, I think I struggle with opening the door to resentment at times.

Bill Johnson writes in the devotional, In the Water, “When the Holy Spirit takes up residence in us, and we are yielded to Him, we naturally mirror the heart and nature of God through our thoughts attitudes, and actions.  The enemy of our souls works hard to tarnish that manifestation of who God is in the world.  He does so by trying to persuade us to embrace anxiety, fear, resentment, and regret.   Such things lead us down a path that has no answer but repentance.” 

I think that where I can get caught up and not have my guard up is resentment.   Resentment leads to discontentment.  And when I work hard to keep my heart from any feelings of resentment, I still struggle with discouragement over repeated difficulties and failures that just cannot seem to be fixed.   I just lose hope for change and want to give up.  I want to escape. 

When I resent God for continued difficulty in my life, it results in rebellion to an extent in my life.  I stop fasting and praying and stress eat instead.  It is my way of resisting the plans of God in partnering with Him for His purposes and escaping my troubles. It is my way of saying to God, “I give up, this is too hard for me.”    And even when I am told by Him to be unmovable, I struggle with it and consider moving anyways away from my difficulties.  I let it steal my joy, stress eat, and look to escape.  I just plain resent Him for it. 

What this tells me is that I must not be standing in the stream of the Spirit that brings me so much joy. I realize that I need to stop letting resentment hold sway in my thoughts, attitudes and actions.  I need to trust His leadership even in my and other’s sin and brokenness.  I need to let go of my expectations and grab hold of His goodness. 

 Yet, in all of it, I sense His underlying presence.   I have woken up every morning for the past week or so with the song in my heart, “I can’t count that high.”  It is about the blessings that overflow in my life.  It often plays in the background of my heart pretty much all day long.  It is like this river that pushes through the pain and overtakes me despite my shortcomings and failures.   Despite all the brokenness and unfixable things, He is there singing over me. 

Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.” 

I can’t say that I feel peace right now but I know He is there.  I know God is with me and sheltering me through every difficulty. He is my refuge and fortress.  This same Psalm 46 promises that He will eventually set everything right.  He makes wars cease, breaks the bow and shatters the spear.  This speaks to putting an end to conflict. 

He goes on to say in Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.”   Sometimes we just can’t fix things and need to stop trying.  We need to trust that He will in His timing.   He positions us for blessing even in our difficulties. 

In Exodus 20:2, He tells His people, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.”   And earlier, in Exodus 15:26, He says, “I am the Lord who heals you.”

It kind of says it all.  How could anyone ever say that this is not enough?  Well besides this, He saved us and gives us eternal life.   And He provides for us and protects us.  He is our shield and our great reward.  He didn’t have to heal us, set us free, deliver us from our enemies, save us, provide for us, or shelter us.   But He did it all.  

Dayenu!  It would have been enough.   A better statement would be, that  our lives are crammed with blessings that are more than enough.   Who among us has deserved what He provides?  Who could possibly say that He owes them?   It is us that owe Him everything. 

I owe Him everything.   I would not be alive today if it was not for His intervention in my life.  He paid it all and did it all.  He makes my day everyday.   Even in being over my head at times, He has more than cared for me.   As an example, I had longed to have a Sabbatical for set aside some time in my life for God.  Then when my load was really heavy for a time, my boss noticed and gave me one for a month.  I was so grateful.  It was a life dream.   What a gift!

While God has not always given me what I wanted, nothing good has He ever withheld from me. I never have lacked in His care.   In serving Him, what do I have to resent?   I am never beyond His goodness in it. 

The truth be told, in the midst of difficulty, stress and sometimes loss, I am living my dream life.  I am doing a job that I love in the place that He called me and had the opportunity to run a leadership program that has been my life’s dream.  I have always longed to have impact and staff that are in this leadership program tell me all the time that I am. It blows me away.  Besides this, I have employees that I adore. The best ever.  And I have an incredible family and they bring joy in my life.

I do not need to learn to try to escape my situations.  What I need to do is to learn how to trust and believe in the midst of them.  I need to close the door to the lies, attitudes, and accusations that cause resentment.  I need to remember who He is and what He has done.   I am counting every blessing, letting go and trusting what I cannot see.  

His love is unending.  His mercies are new every morning.  Great is His faithfulness.