Forged to Flourish

 

 

“Balaam got up on the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials.  But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him.  Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him.  When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat it to get it back on the road… The angel of the Lord asked him, ‘Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me.’” (Numbers 22:21-23,32)

Reckless, often also translated as the word perverse, used here is the Hebrew word yarat, Strongs# 3399, and it means to convey a trembling fear, reverence or awe towards something, particularly in relation to the divine.

Balaam was following what God spoke to him but he was doing so with a perverse desire of his own centrality.  He loved that Balak was calling on him and felt that him cursing the Israelites was the solution.  He wanted to go along with him.  He loved that he had a high-level distinguished entourage of officials coming to get him and he was being offered a significant reward.  

He loved being the solution and went along with the Moabite officials with an attitude of grandiosity.  He thought he was in line with the Lord and the Lord wanted him to be honored. Balaam was so angry with his donkey for laying down because the donkey had “made a fool” of him that he beat it three times and wanted to kill it.

How dare his donkey interfere with his perfect image of grandiosity! That brings a great question along:  Do you get mad when people interfere with your image of yourself or the glorious things you are doing? 

When I volunteered on a Crisis Hotline, sometimes I would have people call that seemed to have a grandiosity sickness. They would associate their lives with people who were popular.  At first, it sounded fine but as they continued to talk, you could see their centrality in the way they weaved their stories together.  What was truth and what was not became very gray.  However, what was important to them was that people saw them as grand.  They were a big deal and would tell you whatever they could to get you to believe and respond to them in this manner. 

Deep down, their lack of identity and aching to fill this place of emptiness drove them to see something that could never fill them.  The hunger for this just grew and grew until they developed a sickness of sort.  They would call a crisis line and talk for an hour or so about how grand they were, all the grand things they have done and the grand people they knew over and over again week after week or day after day.  And the saddest part was that it fed their pride and just further distanced them from the source of love—what their heart really needed.  

With Balaam, it wasn’t a bunch of made-up stories.  He was a big deal.   But once he got caught up in it, there was a perverse spirit of grandiosity that he had invited in and was guiding him.  He was no longer being directed by the Lord.  God cared so much about Balaam that He sent an angel to stop and warn him and Balaam repented.

However, while insisting that He could only follow what God told him to speak, Balaam betrayed the Lord.  He ultimately sold out the people of God by speaking prophesy and warning Balak of what was to come. He was siding with Balak in his heart because of greed and a love to be recognized, while agreeing with what the Lord spoke to him to bless and not curse the Israelites.  He was conflicted and his intentions were perverse, leading him astray.

In 2 Peter 2:15, it says about him, “Forsaking the right way, they have gone astray, following the way of Balaam, the son of Beor, who loved gain from wrongdoing.”

Because Balam had warned Balak of what was to come, Balak set out to trip up the Israelites by seducing them away from the Lord with the Moab women.  The result was that Isreal yoked themselves with the Baal of Peor and the anger of the Lord burned against the Israelites (Numbers 25:3).

All that to say that being led by the Lord is more than being guided by His words.  You can listen to the Lord and go the right way, but have perversity in your heart and be off course.  If your hopes are set on gain or being central, doing the right things do not prove the answer.

So how do you know you are being led by the Spirit?  Kneisha Sanders notes that you will produce the fruit of the Spirit.¹  There is a story in Numbers 17 where the other leaders question why Moses and Aaron should be their leaders.  Their argument is that they could do the same.  So the leaders, according to their tribe, are all instructed to put a rod in with their tribe name on the rod.  Then the rod of the one God chooses would bud and the rest would not.   The next day, Aaron’s rod not only budded but flowered, sprouted and produced fruit.

This is a beautiful picture of how you know that you are doing the right things.  When you put your time and energy into it, what is the fruit?  Do you feel left empty as you do it?  Does it produce fruit in you and through you?  Looking at the fruit, you can tell what the condition of the root is.

I run a year long leadership program at my work and I love it.  As I do it, not only do I feel fulfilled by it, but people are growing and transformed.  It leaves me in awe sometimes but it tells me that I am doing the right things in doing it.  This is a place of fruitfulness for me.  

On the opposite end, I know my job and I am capable of doing many things as I have years of experience.  However, sometimes I feel left dry by the work I do.  I just do it to get it done.  And when I am done, it never fails that someone will point out a mistake I overlooked.  It just doesn’t feel fruitful or leave me feeling filled, but empty. 

But often, when I train someone else in under me to do the work and then oversee it, they flourish and enjoy it and so do I.   Instead of being a draining task, it becomes a blossoming joy to do. I see where they take what I have done and bring it to the next level.  They step into it and do a better job than I could of and find fulfillment in it.  In this, I see where the rod is budding.  

From this, I deduce that I am called at this point in my career to help others succeed more than do the work myself. In fact, I had decided that many years ago in my career.  I would spend my first years of my career primarily learning, growing and doing, and the remaining years helping others to grow.   

When I look back on my career for where I found the most joy, work experiences that impact others rise to the top.  I remember two of my staff putting their acceptance for their master’s degree on my chair on my birthday.  While I didn’t cry, I so wanted to.  It made my year that, not only were they accepted, but they knew it would be such a gift to me.

I flourish in it and find joy through seeing others grow.  I put tons of work in creating templates for expansion initiatives at my work since it is a season we were heading into.  But it wasn’t until my assistant took them and expanded upon them and now is doing project planning with them that I find joy in them.  She is growing and flourishing and it brings me joy. It was the launching pad for her to step into her dreams as a project leader.

I love picking up the pieces and filling in the gaps when it causes the leaders underneath me to grow. I love being available to them to solve problems or provide advice.  For me, this feels like a place of flourishing and bearing fruit. 

As the leadership program I run and find so much joy in is for high potential leaders, I find it interesting that this type of leadership development is more common for me.  I am not sure why.   My first position out of college where I started developing people, it was those that worked customer service in national and major accounts.  They were in those positions because they were considered the best customer service people. Then at the UofM, those working in the Neurosciences were considered the top of their field, the best of the best. All that to say, over the years, I also have had the opportunity to engage with high potential leaders more frequently and I am not sure why.   

Because mainly working with these groups, or I worked mainly with these groups because, I am greatly bothered by people who do not live into their potential.  When people barely show up, show up late and leave early, doing just the minimum they need to, this bothers me greatly.  I found this out especially when I taught classes.  It drives me crazy to see people throw away their potential for no reason. 

In all we are called to do with God, Matthew 5:5 tells us that the gentle and humble in heart are those who inherit the earth.   Trusting God and being connected to Him are key in bearing fruit.  If we are trying to do good things but fail to align with God, they will not flourish.  As we see with Balaam going with the entourage that came to get him, he was doing the thing he was called to do, but with a perverse heart.  One of my favorite verses, Amos 3:3 says that how can two walk together unless they be agreed?  Our hearts need to be fully in alignment with God for us to produce fruit.

 

Lord Jesus, thank you for all the opportunities that you have provided me to flourish.  I am so grateful for them.  Help us to be fully aligned with your will in all that you call us to do.  Open the right doors for us and help us to walk through them in full agreement and alignment with You.