My Thoughts on Fenelon, Let Go, Letter 25, We Should Listen to God and Not to Self
Self love is always thinking of self. Self loves says pay attention to me, think I am important, give me recognition, I am the center of all. It is grasping and impulsive. As Fenelon notes, God’s love is much different. God’s love is not complaining about how others are treating me. God’s love forgets about me and has love for God and for others that forgets about oneself.
One of my pastors spoke this last weekend about the man who came asking his friend for bread in the middle of the night to feed his guests that were coming the next day. He noted that maybe the man's motive for getting up out of bed in the middle of the night and giving him the bread was that his friend would not be put to shame when his guests came. God's love looks to cover, protect and serve ones brother.
Recently someone took credit for my work. I had invested my efforts into something and entrusted it to this person, only to find out they took the credit for doing it. It is not the first time this person has done this to me. Self love would desire to expose the person and the lie, letting the person be put to public shame. However, in God's love, one would have got up in the middle of the night to help them out if they would have just asked in the first place so they would not be put to shame - so how could I feel justified in exposing them?
God’s love rejoices in other’s success and wants the best for others no matter what is going on in one’s own life. God’s love is not threatened by others but makes room for them, looking out for their best interests even at the expense of ones own interest.
Self love, on the other hand, looks out for what is best for oneself. Self love seeks the best and the biggest portion, claiming it for oneself. Once we claim something as ours, we also have to protect it, keeping it from others. God's love sees everything as a gift from God, holding loosly to all things. God's love is generous and sees opportunity to give the best to others for their benefit.
In Gen. 26, when the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac’s herdsmen about a well that Isaac’s men dug, Isaac did not demand his rights, he just left them the well and moved on to dig one somewhere else. Isaac did not claim his rights or protoect what was his but he waited until the Lord made room for him in the land to be fruitful.
Self love is critical of others and God’s love is building up of others. Self love needs to be right where God’s love sees the other person’s feelings and standpoint as valuable, despite differences. God’s love makes allowance for others even in their shortcomings. Self love compares ones strengths with the other person’s shortcomings and claims superiority where God's love bears others faults silently.
Where self love looks for how I can get more attention and recognition, God’s love rejoices in the work that God has done in my life with gratitude and contentment. God’s love is not flattering to self at all.
Whenever I am filled with dissatisfaction, complaining, or wanting more (discontent) the problem is self love. When I am too busy with my self concerns, I am of no help to anyone else. “Tell me to slow down” sings in the background. To be honest, too frequently I am rushing off to get my needs met, do my thing, and meet my expectations and not slowing down enough to give enough of myself to others.
It is sad when I don’t take enough time for others. I need to be willing to enter into others pain, frustrations, struggles, difficulties and confusion. I need to be willing to stop what I am doing, my own agenda, and take the time for others even when it costs me. Not to fix them, but to be present with them.
Lord, I feel like I am drowning in self love. I am deeply in need of your mercy and grace. Will you come to my rescue and empty me of myself? Would you “take it all” just as it sings in the background and fill me with your love?
Living for yourself has little to show
Look instead to me and you will know
How to serve, how to give,
Every opportunity you have to live.
One of my pastors spoke this last weekend about the man who came asking his friend for bread in the middle of the night to feed his guests that were coming the next day. He noted that maybe the man's motive for getting up out of bed in the middle of the night and giving him the bread was that his friend would not be put to shame when his guests came. God's love looks to cover, protect and serve ones brother.
Recently someone took credit for my work. I had invested my efforts into something and entrusted it to this person, only to find out they took the credit for doing it. It is not the first time this person has done this to me. Self love would desire to expose the person and the lie, letting the person be put to public shame. However, in God's love, one would have got up in the middle of the night to help them out if they would have just asked in the first place so they would not be put to shame - so how could I feel justified in exposing them?
God’s love rejoices in other’s success and wants the best for others no matter what is going on in one’s own life. God’s love is not threatened by others but makes room for them, looking out for their best interests even at the expense of ones own interest.
Self love, on the other hand, looks out for what is best for oneself. Self love seeks the best and the biggest portion, claiming it for oneself. Once we claim something as ours, we also have to protect it, keeping it from others. God's love sees everything as a gift from God, holding loosly to all things. God's love is generous and sees opportunity to give the best to others for their benefit.
In Gen. 26, when the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac’s herdsmen about a well that Isaac’s men dug, Isaac did not demand his rights, he just left them the well and moved on to dig one somewhere else. Isaac did not claim his rights or protoect what was his but he waited until the Lord made room for him in the land to be fruitful.
Self love is critical of others and God’s love is building up of others. Self love needs to be right where God’s love sees the other person’s feelings and standpoint as valuable, despite differences. God’s love makes allowance for others even in their shortcomings. Self love compares ones strengths with the other person’s shortcomings and claims superiority where God's love bears others faults silently.
Where self love looks for how I can get more attention and recognition, God’s love rejoices in the work that God has done in my life with gratitude and contentment. God’s love is not flattering to self at all.
Whenever I am filled with dissatisfaction, complaining, or wanting more (discontent) the problem is self love. When I am too busy with my self concerns, I am of no help to anyone else. “Tell me to slow down” sings in the background. To be honest, too frequently I am rushing off to get my needs met, do my thing, and meet my expectations and not slowing down enough to give enough of myself to others.
It is sad when I don’t take enough time for others. I need to be willing to enter into others pain, frustrations, struggles, difficulties and confusion. I need to be willing to stop what I am doing, my own agenda, and take the time for others even when it costs me. Not to fix them, but to be present with them.
Lord, I feel like I am drowning in self love. I am deeply in need of your mercy and grace. Will you come to my rescue and empty me of myself? Would you “take it all” just as it sings in the background and fill me with your love?
Living for yourself has little to show
Look instead to me and you will know
How to serve, how to give,
Every opportunity you have to live.
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