My thoughts on "Let Go" by Fenelon, Letter 38, Resisting God, an Effective Hindrance to Grace

In today’s writing, Fenelon’s friend was distressed and discouraged because He was resisting God and beginning to think what God required was impossible.

Fenelon notes that we are never to give up hope in God because He will give us what we need in accordance to our faith. He writes, “If you will believe all things, all things shall be yours, and you shall even remove mountains. But if you believe nothing, you shall have nothing. And only you will be to blame.”

To be honest, I have been struggling with belief recently. I have been resisting God, thinking of what He asks me as impossible and becoming incredibly discouraged. I have been fighting Him and looking to run to avoid His will because it feels impossible and overwhelming.

Part of me knows God is incredibly generous and is capable of anything. I am amazed at what God has done in my life. It is nothing short of an incredible miracle. What was impossible by man is more than possible by God. I am incredibly grateful beyond measure.

However, there is another part of me that looks at what He has for me and sees an incredibly big mountain. I see all my weaknesses and shortcomings and have been thinking that what God requires of me is impossible. I feel stuck and can’t seem to move beyond seeing all my weaknesses.

One of my pastors spoke yesterday about the woman with the issue of blood. He noted that she was bleeding for 12 years before she was healed. What she had heard and thought about herself for so many years was that there was something wrong with her. She was unclean. She had to reach out beyond what she believed about herself to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. It was in this reaching out in faith, that she was made whole.

This woman had to begin to see herself through the eyes of faith. This really spoke to me. I grew up my whole life thinking there was something wrong with me. Now that God has healed me, those tapes sometimes still want to play, especially when I am pushed out of my comfort zone. How I deal with this is to hide my past in shame and pretend it never existed.

Instead of looking at what God has for me with eyes of faith, having an “adventurously expectant” attitude of seeing His love, generosity and mercy towards me, I have been looking at it through the eyes of self effort, feeling afraid, incapable, inadequate and overwhelmed – wanting to run and hide back to my comfort zone. I am not reaching out in faith but rather shrinking back in fear.

Fenelon notes that what God is asking of me is to simply have a teachable spirit of faith, trusting everything into His hands, remaining humble and paying no attention to self.

Jesus did not tell the woman with the issue of blood that her faith had healed her from her bleeding. He said that her faith made her whole. Being whole is much more than just stopping the bleeding. God was more than willing not only to heal her, but to make her completely whole.

Lord, I long to live in the place of wholeness. Forgive me where I have been running from you and resisting your will. You have been more than generous with me and are more than enough to meet me in every area of weakness.

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