Thoughts on Fenelon, "Let God," To a Friend Obsessed with His Faults
Fenelon notes that one should not be overly concerned with ones own defects. As he notes, this is being consumed with self love. Instead he says, “Don’t stop loving.” Love overcomes ones faults. And it is as we are forgiven much that we love much.
I know that God is love and that as we love God and others, we are living out the gospel. However, I still have a tendency to see loving others and God as getting everything right with them. If I am getting everything right, I am loving God and others well. And if I am loving others well, I am worthy of being loved in return. This is a performance based mentality. And while I have become better about it, I still struggle with it.
The problem with this is that the focus is completely on me and the fruit of getting everything right is pride and self-righteousness. When I don’t get it right, as Fenelon writes, “Here’s the irony: usually, the shame you feel for your faults is actually more of a fault than those things you are so obsessed with.”
When I fail to love others well by getting everything right, I begin to feel shame, start thinking I am unlovable and then stop reaching out and loving others. I don’t feel like I have anything to offer so I begin to shrink back. This in itself is a bigger fault than not getting it right in the first place.
The focus is all about self and it brings bondage rather than freedom. Fenelon writes, “I am able to see how faithful you are to God by how much peace and freedom you have in your soul. When your heart is peaceful, opening up wide to God and the world around you, then you are moving closer to God.”
Being faithful to God does not mean I will not make mistakes or fail to love others well at times. When we are truly moving closer to God, there is freedom. We are no longer concerned for self or the mistakes that we make. Instead, we continue to focus on God and continue to love. We are free to make mistakes, apologize when we hurt others, and then continue to love without shrinking back.
Also, love is not about what one gets in return. It is out of the overflow of relationship with God that we love others. Whenever I am looking for something in return, this is self love. Sometimes I set expectations on how others should love me. For example, when my husband does not love me well (most all the time he loves me very well, but nobody is perfect all the time) , I can become discouraged or frustrated with him and close him out of my heart for the moment. However, God’s love does not keep score. It does not have expectations of others in order to love them.
Lord, as I read today’s letter, I am very aware that there is much “self love” in my love for others. Please draw me closer to You and set me free to love others without hindrances, restrictions or expectations.
I know that God is love and that as we love God and others, we are living out the gospel. However, I still have a tendency to see loving others and God as getting everything right with them. If I am getting everything right, I am loving God and others well. And if I am loving others well, I am worthy of being loved in return. This is a performance based mentality. And while I have become better about it, I still struggle with it.
The problem with this is that the focus is completely on me and the fruit of getting everything right is pride and self-righteousness. When I don’t get it right, as Fenelon writes, “Here’s the irony: usually, the shame you feel for your faults is actually more of a fault than those things you are so obsessed with.”
When I fail to love others well by getting everything right, I begin to feel shame, start thinking I am unlovable and then stop reaching out and loving others. I don’t feel like I have anything to offer so I begin to shrink back. This in itself is a bigger fault than not getting it right in the first place.
The focus is all about self and it brings bondage rather than freedom. Fenelon writes, “I am able to see how faithful you are to God by how much peace and freedom you have in your soul. When your heart is peaceful, opening up wide to God and the world around you, then you are moving closer to God.”
Being faithful to God does not mean I will not make mistakes or fail to love others well at times. When we are truly moving closer to God, there is freedom. We are no longer concerned for self or the mistakes that we make. Instead, we continue to focus on God and continue to love. We are free to make mistakes, apologize when we hurt others, and then continue to love without shrinking back.
Also, love is not about what one gets in return. It is out of the overflow of relationship with God that we love others. Whenever I am looking for something in return, this is self love. Sometimes I set expectations on how others should love me. For example, when my husband does not love me well (most all the time he loves me very well, but nobody is perfect all the time) , I can become discouraged or frustrated with him and close him out of my heart for the moment. However, God’s love does not keep score. It does not have expectations of others in order to love them.
Lord, as I read today’s letter, I am very aware that there is much “self love” in my love for others. Please draw me closer to You and set me free to love others without hindrances, restrictions or expectations.
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