"Come out, my people, away from her, so that you do not share in her crimes and have the same plagues to bear." (Rev. 18:4)
“O Tyre, you have said, 'I am perfect in beauty.' Your borders are in the heart of the seas; your builders made perfect your beauty.” (Ezekiel 27:3-4)
“For thus says the Lord God: When I make you a city laid to waste, like the cities that are not inhabited, when I bring up the deep over your, and the great waters cover you, then I will make you go down with those who go down to the pit, to the people of old, and I will make you dwell in the world below, among ruins from of old, with those who go down to the pit, so that you will not be inhabited; but I will set beauty in the land of the living. I will bring you to a dreadful end, and you shall be no more. Though you be sought for, you will never be found again, declares the Lord God.” (Ezekiel 26:19-21)
How often people strive to be 'perfect in beauty' before others. They want to make a good impression on others so they can feel valued, appreciated, and respected. They work incredibly hard at creating a perfect image to live behind, while feeling more and more empty and alone on the inside, craving validation and attention.
Judy Hougen calls this the “false self.” She writes, “The false self is the self created outside of the mind of God, the self that seeks existence apart from God. The false self is a facade we construct in order to gain love and acceptance in the world, a mask of counterfeit adequacy. This mask is constructed of all the characteristics and qualities that we fiercely clutch as ours and want others to believe that we posses. It is our unreal identity, controlling and defining us.” (1)
We live in a world where love is often conditional and “equates beauty with behavior and appearance.” (2) As a society, we often value people for how they appear rather than who they are. If people are successful, intelligent, good looking, and perform well, they are seen as beautiful. We admire 'beautiful' people and put them up on a pedestal. Television is plastered with these 'beautiful people' who are not known for who they really are, and therefore loved, but instead admired for a false image they create for others.
Judy Hougen writes that “The false self's life is the house built upon sand (Matthew 7). Because its foundation is built upon shifting externals rather than upon God, which creates a frightening sense of instability, the false self constantly craves security from its environment. Security becomes a primary motivation, guiding many or most decisions.” (3)
Whenever “our lives become fixed on attaining external experiences of security, esteem, and power, the false self is automatically in residence.” (4) As we live out of the false self, we manipulate, control and/or deceive to get what we desire. And as Judy Hougen goes on to say, we will never admit our legitimate needs and human weaknesses.
When we live out of the false self, as Bill Thrall et al. writes, we teach others to live lives this way as well. Because others are hiding and pretending, we learn that it is socially acceptable behavior to hide and pretend. We live lives of comparison, envy and jealousy, guarded in fear. We trade our vulnerability for the veneer of safety. (5)
In Matthew 5:16, 48 Jesus says to His disciples, “Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.... In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
Living an open and transparent life before God requires trust in God. Bill Thrall et al. writes that “The goal is to learn to depend on – to trust – what God says is true about you, so that you can begin dealing with that stuff.” One who trusts God is okay to be who they are at the moment, with all their junk. They don't need to pretend. He writes, “Trust opens the way for this process -for God to bring you to maturity. If you do not trust God, you can't mature, because your focus is messed up.” (6)
As Judy Hougen notes, as one heals from hiding and presenting false images, one grows in self-acceptance. She writes that self-acceptance emerges from dwelling in God's presence, rather than in performing self-accepting behaviors. And goes on to state, “But the crux of the healing of self-image and the emerging of our true selves is the receiving and giving of God's love." (7)
When one is living in the true-self, they are at ease with themselves and others. They can rest in the love of God and share it with those around them. They need not be doing but are comfortable with being – being with God and others.
“Your blessed when you're content with just who you are – no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.”
Living in Two Worlds
Too often, we live back in forth with feet in two worlds. At times we look at the world through the lens of 'What good can I bring about?' while other times we look at the world through the lens 'How can I get my way?'.
Dallas Willard writes that the question, 'What good can I bring about?' is associated with submission, service to God whole the question 'How can I get my way? Is associated with exaltation. As he notes, one involves transparency, sincerity, and goodwill while the other involves manipulation, deception and seduction.
The character of the will apart from God is duplicity according to Dallas Willard. He states, “the human will moves irresistibly toward deception. This is the result of pretending to feel and think one way while acting another.” He notes that deception often includes self-deception, so that we cannot even understand ourselves and why we do what we do. (8)
What happens when we live out of our unmet needs, trying to get a false fulfillment is a splintered will (9). Torment is caused by living in duplicity, living with one foot in both worlds. (10) You are at constant battle with yourself and shuffle back and forth agonizing over thoughts and decisions. (11)
"Your blessed when you get your inside world your mind and heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world." (Matthew 5:8)
When one consistently lives for God's purposes, the result is integrity – ones heart thoughts and emotions line up with actions. One fulfills the commandment, “you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:5)
Jean Vanier writes that to be free is to put justice, truth, and service to others over and above our own personal gain and our need for recognition, power, honor and success. (12) In order to move towards this freedom, we must first experience brokenness.
Brokenness
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." (Psalm 51:17)
When we think we are rich and in need of nothing, we really are really wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked (Revelation 3:17). Brokenness drives us to the feet of Jesus. We realize that we do not have it all together and trying to live a life 'perfect in beauty' is all a physod. In the Kingdom of God, those who are poor in spirit are blessed (Matthew 5:3).
Judy Hougen writes that brokenness is a spiritual condition that emerges from our wounds and weaknesses. It consists of two parts: "First, we live in awareness of our wounds and weakness and the sin that so easily ushers from them... Second, we respond to this poverty by coming to the end of ourselves -our own energy, talents, and intelligence -and realizing, with our total being, that our only hope for life, for change, and for meaning is Jesus Christ." It is in the position of brokenness that we realize our poverty and cling to Jesus in "begging dependence." (13)
As one is broken by their sin and realizes their poverty, they will bring areas of the false-self to the cross.
Leaving Behind the False Self
"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:24-25)
As God reveals to us our sin in grasping for recognition, respect, admiration, control, reward, power, and position, etc., in brokenness we can come to the cross and bring these things before God. We can repent, turning from living in the false self and towards God, living in the true self as the beloved.
Faith To Enter The Promised Land (True Self)
However, death to self is not dying to God's purposes and living a dispassionate life. It is death to seeking false fulfillment and to the desire to manipulate or control to get what we want. At the same time, it is trusting in God's promises and His fulfillment. When one trusts God and lives in His love, they are free to be real and genuine. Rather than trying to grasp for what we don't have, in freedom, we step forward in faith towards that which God has placed on our heart, (putting our hand to what our heart prompts), and believing God will meet us there.
I need to trust God that when I step forward in faith in that which he has placed on my heart that he will make the room for me and I will be fulfilled in Him through it. Too often I do not trust God's love for me enough to step out into His promises. Instead I shrink back and then seek false fulfillment through control, acceptance, and/or recognition.
"But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him." (Hebrews 10:38)
About a week ago I had a dream that I was given an incredibly beautiful engagement ring with an extremely over-sized heart shaped diamond from the one who loved me. I went into a jewelry store and showed it to the woman at the desk. She asked to see it closer and I took it off and handed it to her. She went to the back of the store and took the genuine diamond out. She replaced it with a small diamond that was fake. She handed the ring to me while nodding her head that it was mine. I put on the false ring. As I gazed at it, I realized how much I wanted the genuine ring that was given to me by the one who loved me. In order to get it back, I had to go into the back of the store and claim it back from her.
I am not certain how to interpret this dream but what I think it speaks to me is about my failure to step forward in faith to claim the promises of God, trusting God to make room for me and His genuine love that will sustain me. Sometimes I accept less than what God has for me because I don't want to risk making mistakes and being wrong. I shrink back in fear or discouragement from stepping forward in faith. In the moment, I sometimes debate with myself when I am uncomfortable until it is too late and then later justify it by telling myself that I am putting it off until I am more ready.
When I am discouraged, I then look to other ways to be filled through the false self. I sometimes claim my rights or use manipulation and control to get what I desire outside of God rather than living in the fullness of the promises of God. I sometimes grasp, manipulate or even go along in people pleasing because I do not trust God to fulfill all my needs. Rather than being content in Him, resting in His love, I sometimes strive for security.
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8, NLT)
"Cut through these chains that tie me down to so many lesser things. Let all my dreams fall to the ground until this one remains... You are everything I want, You are everything I need, I want You to be my one consuming passion" sings.
Living in the Present
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:34)
One leadership motivational speaker, Mark Sanborn, noted that if he was to sum up his life message in one sentence it would be this: "Fear nothing but to waste the present moment." All our choices are made in the present moment. As we learn to lift this moments up to God, our choices follow.
Judy Hougen writes that abandonment is forgetting the past, leaving the future in the hands of God and devoting the present moment completely to the Lord. As she notes, “Living in the present moment requires radical trust in God and is one of the greatest compliments we can ever pay to Christ.”
"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." (Philippians 4:1-9)
Judy Hougen writes, “Obsession with the future reflects the drive for control, a primary hallmark of the false self. We are afraid that our future will not adequately satisfy our old-self needs for security, esteem, and power, so we manipulate our future moments at the expense of our present ones." (14)
Agonizing over the past, thinking about past mistakes and failures and beating oneself up for them, wanting to get them 'right' next time also reflects living out of the false self. Living in the false self, it is important to 'get it right.' In essence what we are really saying is that we desire to be 'perfect in beauty' like God. The fruit of striving for perfection is pride.
"Your heart has brown swollen with pride on account of your beauty. You have corrupted your wisdom owing to your splendor. I have thrown you to the proud; I have made you a spectacle for other kings." (Ez. 28:17)
"To think that the point of it all is to make much of me... I want to make much of You Jesus" sings in the background.
Humility
Jesus says “Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.” (Matthew 22:11-12)
“I was searching for perfection inside myself, but I finally turned away from my reflection... It's not about me, it's got to be about you... I will not forget that you said you'd always bring me through to who I want to be, making every part of me about you... so I lay down my pride, cause you laid down your life.”
Someone once told me that humility is not about being small as much as it is about getting your focus off yourself all together. On of my pastors referred to this in one of her sermons as being 'knocked off center.' Bill Thrall et al., writes that God's dreams for you are ultimately not about you. They are for the benefit of others - loving, guiding, serving and influencing others, filling them with dreams and hope. He notes that God's heart and dreams for us always involve others. He asks, "If we are not maturing in sync with his heart, how would we distinguish other-centered dreams from self-centered dreams? (15)
And as Bill Thrall goes on to write, God dreams that we would influence others far more by who we are than what we do.
"Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood. Tell them that the kingdom is here. Bring health to the sick. Raise the dead. Touch the untouchables. Kick out the demons. You have been treated generously, so live generously... You are the equipment..." (Matthew 10:7-10)
Communion of Hearts
Jean Vanier writes, "When one loves with trust, one does not give things, one gives oneself and, so, calls forth a communion of hearts." He notes, "When we are in communion with another, we become open and vulnerable to them. We reveal our needs and our weaknesses to each other." While power and cleverness call forth admiration, they also create separation. (16) It is sharing weaknesses and needs that call us together in oneness. (17)
I sometimes think that I have to be perfect for God to love me and accept me. I try hard to putting on the false self and trying to get everything right so that I can earn God's love through performance. What God would have is for me to die to performance. In the same way, I sometimes keep others at an arms length because of my fear that if they really knew me, they would see all my imperfections and they could not love or accept me. Instead I try to create an image that will create admiration and then I am disappointed that it leaves me feeling unfulfilled.
We become free from the false self as we are loved by God and others, being open, vulnerable and transparent. Jean Vanier writes that it is in true communion with others, "we discover the deepest part of our being: the need to be loved and to have someone who trusts and appreciates us and who cares least of all about our capacity to work or to be clever and interesting. When we discover we are loved in this way, the masks or barriers behind which we hide are dropped; new life flows. We no longer have to prove our worth; we are free to be ourselves. We find a new wholeness, a new inner unity." (18)
Jean Vanier writes that "We need other people who will call forth what is most beautiful in us, just as we need to call forth what is most beautiful in others." (19) In this place, we are truly make progress towards the true self.
Moving Towards the True Self
In our progression toward identification of our will with God's, According to Dallas Willard, first comes surrender. We surrender our will to God and consent to His supremacy in all things. As we surrender more and more, we move to abandonment. In abandonment, no part of us is holding us back from God's will any longer. From abandonment we move into contentment with the will of God. We are content with the lot that has fallen to us. As Dallas Willard writes, “At this point, gratitude and joy are the steady tone of our lives. Duplicity no longer exists. (20)
Beyond contentment, he writes that there lies “intelligent, energetic participation in accomplishing God's will in our world. We are no longer spectators but are caught up in a vivid and eternal drama in which we play an essential part. We embrace our imposed circumstances, no matter how tragic they seem, and act for the good in a power beyond ourselves. 'We are reigning -exercising dominion -in life by One, Christ Jesus (Romans 5:17), looking toward an eternity of reigning with God through ages of ages (see Revelation 22:5)” (21)
"Your cleansed and grateful life, not your words, will bear witness to what I have done." Matthew 8:4
Lord, forgive me how I often live out of the false self, try to hide my weaknesses from others, and shrink back from your will in fear or discouragement. I long for my cleansed and grateful life to truly bear witness to all of what You have done. I am so grateful. Help me to rest in your love, giving it away freely and generously to others that I come in contact with. Give me eyes to behold You in others, seeing their beauty through Your eyes and having the freedom to call it forth.
"But we will never know the awesome power of the grace of God until we let ourselves get swept away into this holy flood. So if you'll take my hand, we'll close our eyes and count to three and take the leap of faith. Come on let's go..."
Psalm 2:12
"Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him."
"Kiss the Son, not with a betraying kiss, as Judas kissed him, and as all hypocrites, who pretend to honour him, but really affront him; but with a believing kiss(22)....Whatever we rejoice in, in this world, it must always be with trembling, because of the uncertainty of all things in it. To welcome Jesus Christ, and to submit to him, is our wisdom and interest. Let him be very dear and precious; love him above all, love him in sincerity, love him much, as she did, to whom much was forgiven, and, in token of it, kissed his feet, Lu 7:38. And with a kiss of loyalty take this yoke upon you, and give up yourselves to be governed by his laws, disposed of by his providence, and entirely devoted to his cause. Unbelief is a sin against the remedy. It will be utter destruction to yourselves; lest ye perish in the way of your sins, and from the way of your vain hopes; lest your way perish, lest you prove to have missed the way of happiness. Christ is the way; take heed lest ye be cut off from Him as your way to God. They thought themselves in the way; but neglecting Christ, they perish from it. Blessed will those be in the day of wrath, who, by trusting in Christ, have made him their Refuge"(23)
Reference 1,2,3,4,7,13,14. Hougen, Judy. Transformed into Fire: An Invitation to Life in the True Self. Kregel Publications, Grand Rapids, MI. 2002.
Reference 5,6,15. Thrall, Bill, McNicol, Bruce and Lynch, John. True Faced: trust God and others with who you really are. Navpress, Colorado Springs, CO. 2004.
Reference 12,16,17,18,19. Vanier, Jean. Becoming Human. House of Anansi Press Inc. Toronto, On. 2008.
Reference 8,9,10,11,20,21. Willard, Dallas and Johnson, Jan. Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice: Experiments in Spiritual Transformation. Navpress, Colorado Springs, CO. 2006.
Reference 22. Matthew Henry's Whole Bible Commentary. Psalm 2:12
Reference 23. Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary. Psalm 2:12
http://biblecommenter.com/psalms/2-12.htm
“For thus says the Lord God: When I make you a city laid to waste, like the cities that are not inhabited, when I bring up the deep over your, and the great waters cover you, then I will make you go down with those who go down to the pit, to the people of old, and I will make you dwell in the world below, among ruins from of old, with those who go down to the pit, so that you will not be inhabited; but I will set beauty in the land of the living. I will bring you to a dreadful end, and you shall be no more. Though you be sought for, you will never be found again, declares the Lord God.” (Ezekiel 26:19-21)
How often people strive to be 'perfect in beauty' before others. They want to make a good impression on others so they can feel valued, appreciated, and respected. They work incredibly hard at creating a perfect image to live behind, while feeling more and more empty and alone on the inside, craving validation and attention.
Judy Hougen calls this the “false self.” She writes, “The false self is the self created outside of the mind of God, the self that seeks existence apart from God. The false self is a facade we construct in order to gain love and acceptance in the world, a mask of counterfeit adequacy. This mask is constructed of all the characteristics and qualities that we fiercely clutch as ours and want others to believe that we posses. It is our unreal identity, controlling and defining us.” (1)
We live in a world where love is often conditional and “equates beauty with behavior and appearance.” (2) As a society, we often value people for how they appear rather than who they are. If people are successful, intelligent, good looking, and perform well, they are seen as beautiful. We admire 'beautiful' people and put them up on a pedestal. Television is plastered with these 'beautiful people' who are not known for who they really are, and therefore loved, but instead admired for a false image they create for others.
Judy Hougen writes that “The false self's life is the house built upon sand (Matthew 7). Because its foundation is built upon shifting externals rather than upon God, which creates a frightening sense of instability, the false self constantly craves security from its environment. Security becomes a primary motivation, guiding many or most decisions.” (3)
Whenever “our lives become fixed on attaining external experiences of security, esteem, and power, the false self is automatically in residence.” (4) As we live out of the false self, we manipulate, control and/or deceive to get what we desire. And as Judy Hougen goes on to say, we will never admit our legitimate needs and human weaknesses.
When we live out of the false self, as Bill Thrall et al. writes, we teach others to live lives this way as well. Because others are hiding and pretending, we learn that it is socially acceptable behavior to hide and pretend. We live lives of comparison, envy and jealousy, guarded in fear. We trade our vulnerability for the veneer of safety. (5)
In Matthew 5:16, 48 Jesus says to His disciples, “Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.... In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
Living an open and transparent life before God requires trust in God. Bill Thrall et al. writes that “The goal is to learn to depend on – to trust – what God says is true about you, so that you can begin dealing with that stuff.” One who trusts God is okay to be who they are at the moment, with all their junk. They don't need to pretend. He writes, “Trust opens the way for this process -for God to bring you to maturity. If you do not trust God, you can't mature, because your focus is messed up.” (6)
As Judy Hougen notes, as one heals from hiding and presenting false images, one grows in self-acceptance. She writes that self-acceptance emerges from dwelling in God's presence, rather than in performing self-accepting behaviors. And goes on to state, “But the crux of the healing of self-image and the emerging of our true selves is the receiving and giving of God's love." (7)
When one is living in the true-self, they are at ease with themselves and others. They can rest in the love of God and share it with those around them. They need not be doing but are comfortable with being – being with God and others.
“Your blessed when you're content with just who you are – no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.”
Living in Two Worlds
Too often, we live back in forth with feet in two worlds. At times we look at the world through the lens of 'What good can I bring about?' while other times we look at the world through the lens 'How can I get my way?'.
Dallas Willard writes that the question, 'What good can I bring about?' is associated with submission, service to God whole the question 'How can I get my way? Is associated with exaltation. As he notes, one involves transparency, sincerity, and goodwill while the other involves manipulation, deception and seduction.
The character of the will apart from God is duplicity according to Dallas Willard. He states, “the human will moves irresistibly toward deception. This is the result of pretending to feel and think one way while acting another.” He notes that deception often includes self-deception, so that we cannot even understand ourselves and why we do what we do. (8)
What happens when we live out of our unmet needs, trying to get a false fulfillment is a splintered will (9). Torment is caused by living in duplicity, living with one foot in both worlds. (10) You are at constant battle with yourself and shuffle back and forth agonizing over thoughts and decisions. (11)
"Your blessed when you get your inside world your mind and heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world." (Matthew 5:8)
When one consistently lives for God's purposes, the result is integrity – ones heart thoughts and emotions line up with actions. One fulfills the commandment, “you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:5)
Jean Vanier writes that to be free is to put justice, truth, and service to others over and above our own personal gain and our need for recognition, power, honor and success. (12) In order to move towards this freedom, we must first experience brokenness.
Brokenness
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." (Psalm 51:17)
When we think we are rich and in need of nothing, we really are really wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked (Revelation 3:17). Brokenness drives us to the feet of Jesus. We realize that we do not have it all together and trying to live a life 'perfect in beauty' is all a physod. In the Kingdom of God, those who are poor in spirit are blessed (Matthew 5:3).
Judy Hougen writes that brokenness is a spiritual condition that emerges from our wounds and weaknesses. It consists of two parts: "First, we live in awareness of our wounds and weakness and the sin that so easily ushers from them... Second, we respond to this poverty by coming to the end of ourselves -our own energy, talents, and intelligence -and realizing, with our total being, that our only hope for life, for change, and for meaning is Jesus Christ." It is in the position of brokenness that we realize our poverty and cling to Jesus in "begging dependence." (13)
As one is broken by their sin and realizes their poverty, they will bring areas of the false-self to the cross.
Leaving Behind the False Self
"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:24-25)
As God reveals to us our sin in grasping for recognition, respect, admiration, control, reward, power, and position, etc., in brokenness we can come to the cross and bring these things before God. We can repent, turning from living in the false self and towards God, living in the true self as the beloved.
Faith To Enter The Promised Land (True Self)
However, death to self is not dying to God's purposes and living a dispassionate life. It is death to seeking false fulfillment and to the desire to manipulate or control to get what we want. At the same time, it is trusting in God's promises and His fulfillment. When one trusts God and lives in His love, they are free to be real and genuine. Rather than trying to grasp for what we don't have, in freedom, we step forward in faith towards that which God has placed on our heart, (putting our hand to what our heart prompts), and believing God will meet us there.
I need to trust God that when I step forward in faith in that which he has placed on my heart that he will make the room for me and I will be fulfilled in Him through it. Too often I do not trust God's love for me enough to step out into His promises. Instead I shrink back and then seek false fulfillment through control, acceptance, and/or recognition.
"But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him." (Hebrews 10:38)
About a week ago I had a dream that I was given an incredibly beautiful engagement ring with an extremely over-sized heart shaped diamond from the one who loved me. I went into a jewelry store and showed it to the woman at the desk. She asked to see it closer and I took it off and handed it to her. She went to the back of the store and took the genuine diamond out. She replaced it with a small diamond that was fake. She handed the ring to me while nodding her head that it was mine. I put on the false ring. As I gazed at it, I realized how much I wanted the genuine ring that was given to me by the one who loved me. In order to get it back, I had to go into the back of the store and claim it back from her.
I am not certain how to interpret this dream but what I think it speaks to me is about my failure to step forward in faith to claim the promises of God, trusting God to make room for me and His genuine love that will sustain me. Sometimes I accept less than what God has for me because I don't want to risk making mistakes and being wrong. I shrink back in fear or discouragement from stepping forward in faith. In the moment, I sometimes debate with myself when I am uncomfortable until it is too late and then later justify it by telling myself that I am putting it off until I am more ready.
When I am discouraged, I then look to other ways to be filled through the false self. I sometimes claim my rights or use manipulation and control to get what I desire outside of God rather than living in the fullness of the promises of God. I sometimes grasp, manipulate or even go along in people pleasing because I do not trust God to fulfill all my needs. Rather than being content in Him, resting in His love, I sometimes strive for security.
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8, NLT)
"Cut through these chains that tie me down to so many lesser things. Let all my dreams fall to the ground until this one remains... You are everything I want, You are everything I need, I want You to be my one consuming passion" sings.
Living in the Present
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:34)
One leadership motivational speaker, Mark Sanborn, noted that if he was to sum up his life message in one sentence it would be this: "Fear nothing but to waste the present moment." All our choices are made in the present moment. As we learn to lift this moments up to God, our choices follow.
Judy Hougen writes that abandonment is forgetting the past, leaving the future in the hands of God and devoting the present moment completely to the Lord. As she notes, “Living in the present moment requires radical trust in God and is one of the greatest compliments we can ever pay to Christ.”
"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." (Philippians 4:1-9)
Judy Hougen writes, “Obsession with the future reflects the drive for control, a primary hallmark of the false self. We are afraid that our future will not adequately satisfy our old-self needs for security, esteem, and power, so we manipulate our future moments at the expense of our present ones." (14)
Agonizing over the past, thinking about past mistakes and failures and beating oneself up for them, wanting to get them 'right' next time also reflects living out of the false self. Living in the false self, it is important to 'get it right.' In essence what we are really saying is that we desire to be 'perfect in beauty' like God. The fruit of striving for perfection is pride.
"Your heart has brown swollen with pride on account of your beauty. You have corrupted your wisdom owing to your splendor. I have thrown you to the proud; I have made you a spectacle for other kings." (Ez. 28:17)
"To think that the point of it all is to make much of me... I want to make much of You Jesus" sings in the background.
Humility
Jesus says “Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.” (Matthew 22:11-12)
“I was searching for perfection inside myself, but I finally turned away from my reflection... It's not about me, it's got to be about you... I will not forget that you said you'd always bring me through to who I want to be, making every part of me about you... so I lay down my pride, cause you laid down your life.”
Someone once told me that humility is not about being small as much as it is about getting your focus off yourself all together. On of my pastors referred to this in one of her sermons as being 'knocked off center.' Bill Thrall et al., writes that God's dreams for you are ultimately not about you. They are for the benefit of others - loving, guiding, serving and influencing others, filling them with dreams and hope. He notes that God's heart and dreams for us always involve others. He asks, "If we are not maturing in sync with his heart, how would we distinguish other-centered dreams from self-centered dreams? (15)
And as Bill Thrall goes on to write, God dreams that we would influence others far more by who we are than what we do.
"Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood. Tell them that the kingdom is here. Bring health to the sick. Raise the dead. Touch the untouchables. Kick out the demons. You have been treated generously, so live generously... You are the equipment..." (Matthew 10:7-10)
Communion of Hearts
Jean Vanier writes, "When one loves with trust, one does not give things, one gives oneself and, so, calls forth a communion of hearts." He notes, "When we are in communion with another, we become open and vulnerable to them. We reveal our needs and our weaknesses to each other." While power and cleverness call forth admiration, they also create separation. (16) It is sharing weaknesses and needs that call us together in oneness. (17)
I sometimes think that I have to be perfect for God to love me and accept me. I try hard to putting on the false self and trying to get everything right so that I can earn God's love through performance. What God would have is for me to die to performance. In the same way, I sometimes keep others at an arms length because of my fear that if they really knew me, they would see all my imperfections and they could not love or accept me. Instead I try to create an image that will create admiration and then I am disappointed that it leaves me feeling unfulfilled.
We become free from the false self as we are loved by God and others, being open, vulnerable and transparent. Jean Vanier writes that it is in true communion with others, "we discover the deepest part of our being: the need to be loved and to have someone who trusts and appreciates us and who cares least of all about our capacity to work or to be clever and interesting. When we discover we are loved in this way, the masks or barriers behind which we hide are dropped; new life flows. We no longer have to prove our worth; we are free to be ourselves. We find a new wholeness, a new inner unity." (18)
Jean Vanier writes that "We need other people who will call forth what is most beautiful in us, just as we need to call forth what is most beautiful in others." (19) In this place, we are truly make progress towards the true self.
Moving Towards the True Self
In our progression toward identification of our will with God's, According to Dallas Willard, first comes surrender. We surrender our will to God and consent to His supremacy in all things. As we surrender more and more, we move to abandonment. In abandonment, no part of us is holding us back from God's will any longer. From abandonment we move into contentment with the will of God. We are content with the lot that has fallen to us. As Dallas Willard writes, “At this point, gratitude and joy are the steady tone of our lives. Duplicity no longer exists. (20)
Beyond contentment, he writes that there lies “intelligent, energetic participation in accomplishing God's will in our world. We are no longer spectators but are caught up in a vivid and eternal drama in which we play an essential part. We embrace our imposed circumstances, no matter how tragic they seem, and act for the good in a power beyond ourselves. 'We are reigning -exercising dominion -in life by One, Christ Jesus (Romans 5:17), looking toward an eternity of reigning with God through ages of ages (see Revelation 22:5)” (21)
"Your cleansed and grateful life, not your words, will bear witness to what I have done." Matthew 8:4
Lord, forgive me how I often live out of the false self, try to hide my weaknesses from others, and shrink back from your will in fear or discouragement. I long for my cleansed and grateful life to truly bear witness to all of what You have done. I am so grateful. Help me to rest in your love, giving it away freely and generously to others that I come in contact with. Give me eyes to behold You in others, seeing their beauty through Your eyes and having the freedom to call it forth.
"But we will never know the awesome power of the grace of God until we let ourselves get swept away into this holy flood. So if you'll take my hand, we'll close our eyes and count to three and take the leap of faith. Come on let's go..."
Psalm 2:12
"Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him."
"Kiss the Son, not with a betraying kiss, as Judas kissed him, and as all hypocrites, who pretend to honour him, but really affront him; but with a believing kiss(22)....Whatever we rejoice in, in this world, it must always be with trembling, because of the uncertainty of all things in it. To welcome Jesus Christ, and to submit to him, is our wisdom and interest. Let him be very dear and precious; love him above all, love him in sincerity, love him much, as she did, to whom much was forgiven, and, in token of it, kissed his feet, Lu 7:38. And with a kiss of loyalty take this yoke upon you, and give up yourselves to be governed by his laws, disposed of by his providence, and entirely devoted to his cause. Unbelief is a sin against the remedy. It will be utter destruction to yourselves; lest ye perish in the way of your sins, and from the way of your vain hopes; lest your way perish, lest you prove to have missed the way of happiness. Christ is the way; take heed lest ye be cut off from Him as your way to God. They thought themselves in the way; but neglecting Christ, they perish from it. Blessed will those be in the day of wrath, who, by trusting in Christ, have made him their Refuge"(23)
Reference 1,2,3,4,7,13,14. Hougen, Judy. Transformed into Fire: An Invitation to Life in the True Self. Kregel Publications, Grand Rapids, MI. 2002.
Reference 5,6,15. Thrall, Bill, McNicol, Bruce and Lynch, John. True Faced: trust God and others with who you really are. Navpress, Colorado Springs, CO. 2004.
Reference 12,16,17,18,19. Vanier, Jean. Becoming Human. House of Anansi Press Inc. Toronto, On. 2008.
Reference 8,9,10,11,20,21. Willard, Dallas and Johnson, Jan. Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice: Experiments in Spiritual Transformation. Navpress, Colorado Springs, CO. 2006.
Reference 22. Matthew Henry's Whole Bible Commentary. Psalm 2:12
Reference 23. Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary. Psalm 2:12
http://biblecommenter.com/psalms/2-12.htm
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