One Who is Perfect in Knowledge is With You (Job 36:4)
“But now, hear my speech, O Job, and listen to all my words. Behold, I open my mouth; the tongue in my mouth speaks. My words declare the uprightness of my heart, and what my lips know they speak sincerely. The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. Answer me if you can; set your words in order before me; take your stand. Behold, I am toward God as you are; I too was pinched off from a piece of clay. Behold, no fear of me need terrify you; my pressure will not be heavy upon you.” (Job 33:1-7)
Elihu provided Job with something that none of his other friends could - understanding. Elihu stood along side of Job as someone who was his equal. He did not seek to arrogantly fix Job, like his three other friends, but he sought to restore Job.
“If you have any words, answer me; speak, for I desire to justify you. If not, listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom.” (Job 33:32-33)
Job's friends, on the other hand, judged Job for his difficulties, causing him even greater pain as they arrogantly came to him with their solutions to try to fix him. In Job's difficulty, they saw themselves as spiritually superior and talked down to Job, telling him even that he deserved worse than he received (Job 11:6).
“Then Job answered and said: 'No doubt you are the people, and wisdom will die with you. But I have understanding as well as you; I am not inferior to you. Who does not know such things as these? I am a laughingstock to my friends...”
Job was anything but comforted by his three friends, Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad. He felt scorned by them (Job 16:20). He tells them, “miserable comforters are you all. Shall windy words have an end? Or what provokes you that you answer? I also could speak as you do, if you were in my place; I could join words together against you and shake my head at you.” (Job 16:3-4)
Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad did not set out to harm Job and close him down to God. They had genuinely started out desiring to comfort Job in his pain:
He proclaimed, “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.” (Job 23:8-9)
Larry Crabb, in his book “Becoming a True Spiritual Community” writes that as Christians, often our tendency is to try to 'fix' each other. He notes that in our path to spiritual maturity, we often focus on what is wrong with us and needs to be improved. This results in a protective style of relating to each other. (1)
A protective style of relating to other is the opposite of what Jesus asks from us. It closes people off from God rather than opening them up to Him. In Matthew 5:13-16 Jesus says, “Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth...You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world...Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand -shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” (MSG)
Larry Crabb mentioned that as he was sharing a part of his own spiritual journey with a group in his community and his most intense fear that someone would try to 'help' him. He writes, "Instead, I longed for my friends to enter my world, to be intrigued with what God was doing in my life, to ask questions, to honor my place in the journey, and to do it all with no agenda." (2)
Larry Crabb longed for something deeper and more genuine through spiritual community. He writes. "I didn't want to be evaluated, sympathized with, exhorted, or advised. I wanted only to be heard. I yearned for friends to accept me where I was on the journey, and perhaps to let me know what thoughts and ideas my story had stirred within them. After I knew I had been heard, respected, and loved, I felt I would be open to dialogue..." (3)
He writes, "we think about solving problems more than about finding God in the midst of them. We focus more on using God to improve our lives than on worshiping Him in any circumstance.... Somewhere near the center of our approach to community is a failure to see dark valleys for what they are. We don't realize that they do not primarily represent problems to be solved, but rather opportunities for spiritual companionship, for experiencing a kind of relating that is better and different from any we've known before....”(4)
"In a spiritual community, people reach deep places in each other's hearts that are not often or easily reached. They discover places beneath the awkwardness of want to embrace and cry and share opinions. They openly express love and reveal fear, even thought they feel so unaccustomed to that level of intimacy. When members of a spiritual community reach a sacred place of vulnerability and authenticity, something is released..." (5)
Elihu was a master at reaching into Job's heart and creating a sacred place of vulnerability and authenticity, where Job felt safe and could again open his heart up to God. Elihu pointed Job towards God and helped him to hear what it was God was speaking to him in all his pain. He contended to Job, “For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it” (Job 33:14).
Elihu reminded Job that God was with him, even if he could not see him. He tells Job, “For truly my words are not false; one who is perfect in knowledge is with you.” (Job 36:4)
While Elihu confronted and corrected Job, he did not do it in scorn or judgment. He instead, reminded Job of how great God was. “Hear this, O Job; stop and consider the wondrous works of God” (Job 37:14).
As a result of Elihu's help in creating a place safe place for Job to stand in dealing with his difficulties, Job's heart became open to hear God again and repent of his sin:
He goes on to say that a spiritual community, or rather a church, “is full of broken people who turn their chairs toward each other because they know they cannot make it alone. These broken people journey together with their wounds and worries and washouts visible, but are able to see beyond the brokenness to something alive and good, something whole.” (7)
AA is an excellent example of where I had experienced a deep sense of community with broken people sharing their journeys together. People came, not because we had all the answers, but in brokenness needing help. Each person knows they will not stay sober / chemical free without each other. We all had tried to make it on our own and just stop, only to find it didn't work.
“Deal with your stuff,” “take your own inventory, not others,” “work your program,” “walk the walk, don't just talk the talk,” and “be real” were all things we said to each other in our weekly conversations. It was about being known, real and receiving help. We would show up weekly, opening our hearts and lives to each other, listening to each other, warning each other and rebuking each other when needed. Without it, all of us knew we would not stay sober.
(After some years, our group eventually fell apart and each of us went our way. Somewhere along the way, conflict resulting in gossiping, backbiting, and trying to fix each other rather than lovingly accepting each other's weakness, openness and trust seemed to take over in our relationships.)
We have some of the same choices in how we approach coming to church. We can come in brokenness because we desperately are in need of a Savior. We can come seeking help, knowing that we cannot do it alone and need God and others in community with us to walk along side of us. We can decide to be real, open our lives up to others and deal directly with our sin.
Or, we can choose to play the system. If we'd been to church for any length of time, we know how to 'talk the talk.' We know how to look good. We seek to be filled by appreciation and/or honor for our spirituality rather than a true walk with God. We 'talk the talk' and say all the right Christian things but we fail to truly 'walk the walk.'
For most of us, I think we land somewhere in between. We realize that we are in deep need of a Savior and genuinely desire to 'work out our salvation with fear and trembling.' However, we also wear our masks, talk the talk more than we live it, and seek to look good with others.
At some point in our Christian walk, we typically have had an encounter with Eliphaz, Zophar, or Bildad who genuinely would like to help us, but at the same time are eager to fix us, showing that they are spiritually superior. As a result, we often keep our Christian brothers and sisters at a cordial arms length away. We don't feel safe enough to share our brokenness.
Too often, we come to church protecting ourselves from greater pain in our struggles and trials. We stay hidden underneath our masks that everything is fine. We don't lie about what is going on in our lives but we soften and fluff the corners to look as good as possible. We know that growth happens as we are known, loved for who we are, and deal with our sin but we settle for less rather than take risks.
Larry Crabb notes that we disconnect from God and others as we determine to take care of ourselves in the face of disappointing and sometimes assaulting world. When we conclude that no one has our best interests at heart, according to Larry Crabb, this is unbelief. He says that the resolve to look after ourselves is rebellion, and breaks fellowship with God and others. It is a violation of our created nature to be givers (disconnection from self). (8)
Larry Crabb writes, “our determination to fully trust no one must die and an eager willingness to receive what is best from others and to give what is best from within ourselves must take its place. He says, “That only happens when people feel loved, safe enough to face their dependency, trusting enough to enjoy what someone else gives, and courageous enough to offer who they truly are to another.” (9)
When I hear the words, “our determination to fully trust no one must die,” it triggers a negative and fearful reaction within me. This past weekend, one of my pastors mentioned about people following 'a master' at something they wanted themselves to become a master at. He said, they would follow whatever that person said without question if they wanted to become like them – a master at what they had mastered. While I really enjoyed the sermon, this statement made me feel very uneasy. I felt fearful for the people who may decide to fully trust their hearts to someone who was a 'master' at what they desire to master in life.
I don't even know where to begin in dying to my determination not to fully trust my heart to others. Yet, I wonder if it is possible to 'receive what is best from others' and 'give what is best from within myself' without fully giving my heart to others in trust.
A place where I do find I am able to trust my heart to others, besides with my husband, is in my weekly prayer group. I find a deep sense of spiritual community in the group. We get together weekly and pray for the service. At the end of our sessions, we take time to share our own prayer needs and pray for each other. As I have shared parts of my life, my failures, my confusions, and struggles with sin that I can't seem to break free from, this group of women have listened without judging or trying to fix me. They have met me in my weakness and vulnerability with love and acceptance, praying for me and encouraging me. I am grateful for such a group of women.
At the same time that I resist trusting my heart to others, ironically, I long to be someone who others can trust with their hearts. I long to love people well and create a safe place place where they can courageously be themselves and trust their hearts to me. However, as I say this I realize that loving others well probably begins with trusting my heart more to them. For me, there has been no greater feeling of honor than when someone opens up their life and courageously shares their heart with me in all their weaknesses and vulnerability.
Many of us deeply long to be more like Elihu. As Larry Crabb writes, “I want to be more like Jesus, to be safe and tender and direct. Life is already hard, and I don't want to make anyone's life more difficult.” (10)
The directness of Jesus, just like with Elihu, did not crush people. It did not come with scorn, criticism or judgment. Correction and confrontation came in kindness, with love and acceptance of the person. The woman at the well was a perfect example of loving, but direct confrontation by Jesus.
Where I struggle, is frequently not with kindness and consideration, but with directness. I am concerned about 'breaking a bruised reed' and so I struggle with confronting others, especially when they are in deep pain. However, by not speaking up, I am giving the impression that I agree with them which is a false impression. In failing to be direct with kindness and consideration, I am not trusting the circumstance to Jesus and I am leaving the other person in their sin.
Lord, I think of Paul's words to the Philippians, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6). I am grateful that it does not fully rest on my shoulders to become more like You. I need your help and grace. I long to look much more like Ehihu and much less like Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad.
Elihu provided Job with something that none of his other friends could - understanding. Elihu stood along side of Job as someone who was his equal. He did not seek to arrogantly fix Job, like his three other friends, but he sought to restore Job.
“If you have any words, answer me; speak, for I desire to justify you. If not, listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom.” (Job 33:32-33)
Job's friends, on the other hand, judged Job for his difficulties, causing him even greater pain as they arrogantly came to him with their solutions to try to fix him. In Job's difficulty, they saw themselves as spiritually superior and talked down to Job, telling him even that he deserved worse than he received (Job 11:6).
“Then Job answered and said: 'No doubt you are the people, and wisdom will die with you. But I have understanding as well as you; I am not inferior to you. Who does not know such things as these? I am a laughingstock to my friends...”
Job was anything but comforted by his three friends, Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad. He felt scorned by them (Job 16:20). He tells them, “miserable comforters are you all. Shall windy words have an end? Or what provokes you that you answer? I also could speak as you do, if you were in my place; I could join words together against you and shake my head at you.” (Job 16:3-4)
Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad did not set out to harm Job and close him down to God. They had genuinely started out desiring to comfort Job in his pain:
“Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.” (Job 2:11-13).However, as good intentioned as the three of them were, their 'help' was of absolutely no help to Job. The approach used by Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad did not comfort Job and it did not help him to see God in the midst of his pain. Instead, their 'help' closed Job down to seeing God. He could not perceive God at all after speaking with them.
He proclaimed, “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.” (Job 23:8-9)
Larry Crabb, in his book “Becoming a True Spiritual Community” writes that as Christians, often our tendency is to try to 'fix' each other. He notes that in our path to spiritual maturity, we often focus on what is wrong with us and needs to be improved. This results in a protective style of relating to each other. (1)
A protective style of relating to other is the opposite of what Jesus asks from us. It closes people off from God rather than opening them up to Him. In Matthew 5:13-16 Jesus says, “Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth...You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world...Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand -shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” (MSG)
Larry Crabb mentioned that as he was sharing a part of his own spiritual journey with a group in his community and his most intense fear that someone would try to 'help' him. He writes, "Instead, I longed for my friends to enter my world, to be intrigued with what God was doing in my life, to ask questions, to honor my place in the journey, and to do it all with no agenda." (2)
Larry Crabb longed for something deeper and more genuine through spiritual community. He writes. "I didn't want to be evaluated, sympathized with, exhorted, or advised. I wanted only to be heard. I yearned for friends to accept me where I was on the journey, and perhaps to let me know what thoughts and ideas my story had stirred within them. After I knew I had been heard, respected, and loved, I felt I would be open to dialogue..." (3)
He writes, "we think about solving problems more than about finding God in the midst of them. We focus more on using God to improve our lives than on worshiping Him in any circumstance.... Somewhere near the center of our approach to community is a failure to see dark valleys for what they are. We don't realize that they do not primarily represent problems to be solved, but rather opportunities for spiritual companionship, for experiencing a kind of relating that is better and different from any we've known before....”(4)
"In a spiritual community, people reach deep places in each other's hearts that are not often or easily reached. They discover places beneath the awkwardness of want to embrace and cry and share opinions. They openly express love and reveal fear, even thought they feel so unaccustomed to that level of intimacy. When members of a spiritual community reach a sacred place of vulnerability and authenticity, something is released..." (5)
Elihu was a master at reaching into Job's heart and creating a sacred place of vulnerability and authenticity, where Job felt safe and could again open his heart up to God. Elihu pointed Job towards God and helped him to hear what it was God was speaking to him in all his pain. He contended to Job, “For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it” (Job 33:14).
Elihu reminded Job that God was with him, even if he could not see him. He tells Job, “For truly my words are not false; one who is perfect in knowledge is with you.” (Job 36:4)
While Elihu confronted and corrected Job, he did not do it in scorn or judgment. He instead, reminded Job of how great God was. “Hear this, O Job; stop and consider the wondrous works of God” (Job 37:14).
As a result of Elihu's help in creating a place safe place for Job to stand in dealing with his difficulties, Job's heart became open to hear God again and repent of his sin:
“Then Job answered the Lord and said: 'I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 'Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.' I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:1-6).Larry Crabb writes in, “Becoming a True Spiritual Community” that everything in the spiritual community is reversed from the world's order. “It is our weaknesses, not our competence, that moves others; our sorrows, not our blessings, that break down the barriers of fear and shame that keep us apart; our admitted failures, not our paraded successes, that bind us together in hope.” (6)
He goes on to say that a spiritual community, or rather a church, “is full of broken people who turn their chairs toward each other because they know they cannot make it alone. These broken people journey together with their wounds and worries and washouts visible, but are able to see beyond the brokenness to something alive and good, something whole.” (7)
AA is an excellent example of where I had experienced a deep sense of community with broken people sharing their journeys together. People came, not because we had all the answers, but in brokenness needing help. Each person knows they will not stay sober / chemical free without each other. We all had tried to make it on our own and just stop, only to find it didn't work.
“Deal with your stuff,” “take your own inventory, not others,” “work your program,” “walk the walk, don't just talk the talk,” and “be real” were all things we said to each other in our weekly conversations. It was about being known, real and receiving help. We would show up weekly, opening our hearts and lives to each other, listening to each other, warning each other and rebuking each other when needed. Without it, all of us knew we would not stay sober.
(After some years, our group eventually fell apart and each of us went our way. Somewhere along the way, conflict resulting in gossiping, backbiting, and trying to fix each other rather than lovingly accepting each other's weakness, openness and trust seemed to take over in our relationships.)
We have some of the same choices in how we approach coming to church. We can come in brokenness because we desperately are in need of a Savior. We can come seeking help, knowing that we cannot do it alone and need God and others in community with us to walk along side of us. We can decide to be real, open our lives up to others and deal directly with our sin.
Or, we can choose to play the system. If we'd been to church for any length of time, we know how to 'talk the talk.' We know how to look good. We seek to be filled by appreciation and/or honor for our spirituality rather than a true walk with God. We 'talk the talk' and say all the right Christian things but we fail to truly 'walk the walk.'
For most of us, I think we land somewhere in between. We realize that we are in deep need of a Savior and genuinely desire to 'work out our salvation with fear and trembling.' However, we also wear our masks, talk the talk more than we live it, and seek to look good with others.
At some point in our Christian walk, we typically have had an encounter with Eliphaz, Zophar, or Bildad who genuinely would like to help us, but at the same time are eager to fix us, showing that they are spiritually superior. As a result, we often keep our Christian brothers and sisters at a cordial arms length away. We don't feel safe enough to share our brokenness.
Too often, we come to church protecting ourselves from greater pain in our struggles and trials. We stay hidden underneath our masks that everything is fine. We don't lie about what is going on in our lives but we soften and fluff the corners to look as good as possible. We know that growth happens as we are known, loved for who we are, and deal with our sin but we settle for less rather than take risks.
Larry Crabb notes that we disconnect from God and others as we determine to take care of ourselves in the face of disappointing and sometimes assaulting world. When we conclude that no one has our best interests at heart, according to Larry Crabb, this is unbelief. He says that the resolve to look after ourselves is rebellion, and breaks fellowship with God and others. It is a violation of our created nature to be givers (disconnection from self). (8)
Larry Crabb writes, “our determination to fully trust no one must die and an eager willingness to receive what is best from others and to give what is best from within ourselves must take its place. He says, “That only happens when people feel loved, safe enough to face their dependency, trusting enough to enjoy what someone else gives, and courageous enough to offer who they truly are to another.” (9)
When I hear the words, “our determination to fully trust no one must die,” it triggers a negative and fearful reaction within me. This past weekend, one of my pastors mentioned about people following 'a master' at something they wanted themselves to become a master at. He said, they would follow whatever that person said without question if they wanted to become like them – a master at what they had mastered. While I really enjoyed the sermon, this statement made me feel very uneasy. I felt fearful for the people who may decide to fully trust their hearts to someone who was a 'master' at what they desire to master in life.
I don't even know where to begin in dying to my determination not to fully trust my heart to others. Yet, I wonder if it is possible to 'receive what is best from others' and 'give what is best from within myself' without fully giving my heart to others in trust.
A place where I do find I am able to trust my heart to others, besides with my husband, is in my weekly prayer group. I find a deep sense of spiritual community in the group. We get together weekly and pray for the service. At the end of our sessions, we take time to share our own prayer needs and pray for each other. As I have shared parts of my life, my failures, my confusions, and struggles with sin that I can't seem to break free from, this group of women have listened without judging or trying to fix me. They have met me in my weakness and vulnerability with love and acceptance, praying for me and encouraging me. I am grateful for such a group of women.
At the same time that I resist trusting my heart to others, ironically, I long to be someone who others can trust with their hearts. I long to love people well and create a safe place place where they can courageously be themselves and trust their hearts to me. However, as I say this I realize that loving others well probably begins with trusting my heart more to them. For me, there has been no greater feeling of honor than when someone opens up their life and courageously shares their heart with me in all their weaknesses and vulnerability.
Many of us deeply long to be more like Elihu. As Larry Crabb writes, “I want to be more like Jesus, to be safe and tender and direct. Life is already hard, and I don't want to make anyone's life more difficult.” (10)
The directness of Jesus, just like with Elihu, did not crush people. It did not come with scorn, criticism or judgment. Correction and confrontation came in kindness, with love and acceptance of the person. The woman at the well was a perfect example of loving, but direct confrontation by Jesus.
Where I struggle, is frequently not with kindness and consideration, but with directness. I am concerned about 'breaking a bruised reed' and so I struggle with confronting others, especially when they are in deep pain. However, by not speaking up, I am giving the impression that I agree with them which is a false impression. In failing to be direct with kindness and consideration, I am not trusting the circumstance to Jesus and I am leaving the other person in their sin.
Lord, I think of Paul's words to the Philippians, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6). I am grateful that it does not fully rest on my shoulders to become more like You. I need your help and grace. I long to look much more like Ehihu and much less like Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad.
“Jesus, Master of Life, I have indulged in the safety of criticism. I have not believed the best about others, and I have not had the courage to live my own life. I have pointed out what’s wrong in others instead of learning from my own mistakes. I have listened to you and then not done what you said. Please, please forgive me and give me the courage to live my own life, following you into the way of life that is consistent with who you are, and what you want. I believe that in you is hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” -Steve WiensCrabb, Larry. Becoming a True Spiritual Community: A Profound Vision of What the Church Can Be. Thomas Nelson, Nashville, TN. 1999. References 1-10
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