"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due..." (Prov. 3:27)
“For we are aliens and pilgrims before You, as were all our fathers; Our days on earth are as a shadow, and without hope.” (1 Chronicles 29:15)
One commentary notes about this, “David asserts that life on earth is transitory and even nomadic. Only when a person becomes conscious of his or her place within the care and blessing of a sovereign God does life become more than a shadow. Suddenly the hope of a future with God illuminates that person’s journey on this earth (see Heb. 11:13–16; 13:14).” [1]
Thomas Kempis writes, “Very soon your life here will end; consider, then, what may be in store for you elsewhere. Today we live; tomorrow we die and are quickly forgotten. Oh, the dullness and hardness of a heart which looks only to the present instead of preparing for that which is to come!” [2]
1 Chronicles is a book filled with names. The first nine chapters are genealogies, listing name after name of lineage, following from Adam forward. And just when you think you might be done with reading names, it starts up again in chapter 11 listing all of David's mighty men. Then in chapter 23-27, it picks up the process again by listing the names included in the divisions of levites, priests, musicians, gatekeepers, treasurers, military leaders, leaders of tribes and other state officials.
So why should these names matter? While some of the names I recognize and have some significance because they are listed in other places in the bible – I know their story. However, many of the names I don't even recognize or, to be honest, really care much about. For instance, Happizzez was a priest who served in the house of the Lord according to a schedule held by lots. He held the 18th of 24 lots. And he is found in 1 Chronicles. 24:15. Nothing more is known about him or mentioned of him.
Happizzez was one of many names of people who had walked on this earth before us. He had a family, friends, and people's lives he influenced. He had hopes and dreams. He may have been crabby and self righteous so people forgot him quickly after he departed. Or he may have been kind and generous, always willing to lend a helping hand, so people remembered him and grieved over him for years after he passed on. All we know is that he, like the many other names listed, played a small part in God's kingdom, holding a position of service to God.
So what gives our lives significance? How do we determine a life well spent?
When I was a teen, I thought what gave my life significance was how I looked. I thought if I looked good and was attractive like the women portrayed in advertising, then my life had meaning and significance. What I thought mattered was the friends I hung out with, the image I portrayed to others, and the clothes I wore.
As I grew older, I thought what gave my life significance was the position I held. It was important to me where I worked, what my title was, and how much I made. It was a standard of success on the world's terms and made me feel like I had some value. However, when I die, my title will matter to others about as much as it does for me with Happizzez. Most people could care less. Nobody will probably say at my funeral, 'Wow, I am so impressed that Twila went into finance/accounting. She had such talent with numbers and amazing ten-key skills. I am really going to miss that about her.'
Not that it doesn't matter if we do our jobs with excellence. The contribution we make at work matters. Competence in how we perform our work, as well as character -the way we live our lives, gives us credibility and respect with others. This allows allows us to have influence in their lives. But what matters most is what we do with this, in how we make a contribution in their lives.
At ones funeral, what people will talk about how we made a difference in their lives. The loss they will grieve is the loss of relationship. It will have been the genuine care we had and demonstrated that made a difference.
Thomas Kempis writes, “What good is it to live a long life when we amend that life so little? Indeed, a long life does not always benefit us, but on the contrary, frequently adds to our guilt. Would that in this life we had lived well throughout one single day.” [3]
Many years ago when I just graduated college, my husband had a friend from work whose name was Jim. Jim was an older gentleman who genuinely loved and enjoyed people. When I would call my husbands work to talk with my husband, I was always so serious and professional. Jim would get on the phone and say something to make me laugh. I couldn't help but laugh when he was around. He brightened my day.
He helped my husband and I get our first car together. We were barely making it by financially and were not sure how we could afford a car. Jim called a car dealership and instantly we were given an exceptional deal on a new car and extended financing for it. Wherever he went, people responded to Jim. If he went somewhere more than once, you could be certain that most everyone knew his name and would go out of their way for him (as he had done for them).
Jim passed on suddenly and unexpectedly. He was diagnosed with cancer. When he received the news, he came home that evening and died. Jim's funeral was packed. People came from everywhere to pay their respects to him.
Jim did not have an extraordinary position and he was not famous. Yet, Jim had significance in my life. Jim's life mattered to me because it touched my life and influenced me. Jim didn't do anything that was extraordinary, like save our lives, but it was his genuine care for my husband and I that touched our hearts and mattered. I was so glad to have the opportunity to know him. I miss him in our lives and will always remember him.
I don't know if Jim was a Christian (I was not one at the time) but I deeply admire the life he lived. He lived a life of significance because he touched and influenced others with genuine love, care and kindness.
Thomas Kempis writes, “Many count up the years they have spent in religion but find their lives made little holier. If it is so terrifying to die, it is nevertheless possible that to live longer is more dangerous. Blessed is he who keeps the moment of death ever before his eyes and prepares for it every day.” [4]
We need to seize the day. Thomas Kempis writes that when it is morning, we should not presume we will live to evening and in the evening, we should not assume we have another day. He writes, “Be always ready, therefore, and so live that death will never take you unprepared. Many die suddenly and unexpectedly, for in the unexpected hour the Son of God will come. When that last moment arrives you will begin to have a quite different opinion of life that is now entirely past and you will regret very much that you were so careless and remiss.” [5]
James 4:13-14 says, “Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
One should not presume that they have all the time in the world and can put off those things that really matter and have significance to do whatever they want for now. The problem was not in them planning for the future, but in them putting off God's purposes in their lives for things that are frivolous, selfish pursuits. As commentary notes, they left God out and made their own plans. [6]
I think what often happens is not so much that we purposely make plans outside of God. What happens is that we get distracted by the world. We start with good intentions of serving God with our lives, but then as we go into the world, we rather conduct business and make money. We fail to see the opportunities that God has set before us.
Instead, we are so busy and hurried with 'the thick of thin things' as Steven Covey would say. The urgent things that don't really matter in the long run suck our time and take our energy and distract us from things that have significance and true impact.
Often, we see opportunities God places in front of us as interruptions from getting our work done. We become irritated and frustrated by interruptions, missing everything God has for us. We will go home at the end of the day feeling empty, discontent and wishing our lives had more meaning and depth. Our days on earth will be as a shadow and without hope.
Proverbs 27:1 says, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” The irony is that we are trying to find our significance in what we do and fail to find it at all. We are looking successes on the world's terms and what we can boast about. In doing so, we are completely unavailable for God's purposes and what may bring true significance.
“Take it all, cause I can't take it any longer, all I have, I can't make it on my own”
It is only as we let go of the world, seeking our significance, trying to earn money, gain power, etc. etc. that we can slow down and come present to the moment. It is only in this place (present to the moment and present to God) that we are in position to give our lives away to those around us.
Coming back to the scripture I first noted in 1 Chronicles 29, that we are aliens and pilgrims before God in this world. There is nothing in this world that is going to give us true joy and contentment. It is our friendship with God, living our lives with God and for God that gives us hope and meaning.
Abiding in His love, we are filled with His joy. And filled with gratitude, this spills over into rich generosity in the lives of others. This is often despite our circumstances not because of them. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 8:2-4, “Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints.”
“Creator God calling me Your friend... Sing a song of hope, sing along, God of heaven come down!... Just to know you and be loved is enough, God of heaven come down.”
David goes on to say in verses 17-18 about having an abundance of preparations for the dwelling place of God, “I know also, my God, that You test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. As for me, in the uprightness of my heart I have willingly offered all these things; and now with joy I have seen Your people, who are present here to offer willingly to You. O Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, our fathers, keep this forever in the intent of the thoughts of the heart of Your people, and fix their heart toward You.”
Commentary notes about these verses, “A righteous life always produces a generous spirit. For this reason, David could proclaim that his giving was only out of the uprightness of his heart. Moreover, his joy was heightened all the more when he saw that his people also understood this principle of true giving.” [7]
True growth in holiness in our lives does not bear fruit of self-righteousness, envy, competitiveness, or judgmentalism. Rather, the true fruit from God's Spirit will produce in our lives a generous spirit towards others. We will care about other's needs and be willing to be part of the solution. We will stop, listen, and love our neighbors freely and unconditionally.
James 2:16 says that if you tell someone to go in peace, be warm and filled, and then do nothing to meet that person's need, what use is your religion? And 1 John 3:17 says that if you have something available to you that can be used to help someone else out but ignore their need and fail to have pity on them, how can the love of God be in you?
“Give me your heart for the one's forgotten, give me your eyes so I can see” sings.
As my pastor mentioned in his sermon a week ago, when we find ourselves irritable over interruptions and have lost our joy, it is a cue to us that we are focused on ourselves. And when we are focused on ourselves, we will walk right by the person in need without noticing.
We fail to make small talk with the woman making our coffee at the coffee shop because we are in a hurry. We fail to find out that she may be evicted with her kids and they will all be out on the street if she doesn't come up with an extra $50 this month.
“Tell me to slow down, turn around, and change the way I'm going”
In a seminar I was in a year or two ago, I heard a true story that went something like this:
There was a woman who came into a coffee shop day after day for her coffee. Through some regular small talk, she eventually got to know the clerk who served her coffee. One day, she went into the coffee shop and her friend was not there to serve her coffee. She asked the manager and found out that young lady who served her coffee was in the hospital. She went to check on her friend in the hospital and found out she was in desperate need for a kidney transplant or she would die. Nobody had came forward to help her. She had herself checked, and as it turns out, she was a perfect match for the kidney donation! She gave her kidney away and ended up saving the young lady's life. They now share their story to inspire others.
Proverbs 3:27-28 says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,’ when you have it with you.”
We miss the need and fail to have pity because our eyes are not on our Eternal Treasure, Jesus our awaiting groom, but rather on ourselves. Jesus reminds us that we need to set our eyes on our eternal destiny and act accordingly in Matthew 25:24-40 when He says about His coming and final judgment: “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”
When we fail to have our eyes on Jesus, our Eternal Treasure, we will miss the mark. Sometimes it is by indifference or being caught up in the world. Other times we can miss the mark by focusing on religion and and falling into self-righteousness and judgment of others. Yet, another way we miss the mark is by trying to hard and falling into self-effort.
Sometimes we (okay me) try to love others in our own strength and end up being nice or over accommodating. When someone people pleases, they are not looking out for the other's best interest but rather manipulating them to meet their own needs/desires. People pleasing may make superficial friends, but it fails to make the heart connection that will make a difference in other's lives. What happens instead is that people walk all over us and then move on when we are no longer accommodating to them. Proverbs 19:4 says, “Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him.”
Rather, genuine love edifies and helps others grow. Proverbs 28:23 says, “He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.” To rebuke someone does not mean to be harsh with them, demand action from them, judge them, and/or act in an effort to control them.
Rather, the word rebuke means to convince or prove something. One causes another to think about their actions in a way that creates meaningful change in their hearts. This can only be done in a spirit of love and acceptance, in a trusting relationship. There is a genuine heart connection that influences the other's life and creates change.
Proverbs 27:5 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Sometimes we can sit back and say nothing for fear for damaging the relationship or hurting the other's feelings. We need to be willing to take risks if we are going to make a difference in someone's life.
One commentary notes about this verse, “This is to be understood, not of rebuke publicly given... but it signifies reproof given faithfully and plainly, with openness of heart, and without mincing the matter, and palliating the offence; but speaking out freely, and faithfully laying before a person the evil of his sin, in all the circumstances of it.... Now such kind of reproof is better than such love to a person as will not suffer him to tell him of his faults, for fear of grieving him, or losing his friendship; or than such love as does not show itself in deeds, and particularly in faithful reproofs; for so to act is to hate a person, and suffer sin to be upon him, Leviticus 19:17. [8]
When we help others grow, we are creating a legacy. John Maxwell writes, “God encourages us to fix our eyes on the things that endure. In light of eternity, leaders cannot become consumed with the temporary. Leaders cannot allow the pursuit of wealth or power to move them (Ps. 49:12,13). Only a vision that outlives them, a vision connected to eternity, will fulfill a godly leader. In other words, we must build a legacy. What are we going to live behind when we die? Psalm 49:17 reminds us we will take nothing with us, no matter how rich we become. So what will we leave behind that counts?” He goes on to note that there is a huge difference between giving someone an inheritance and leaving a legacy. An inheritance is something tangible that is eventually spent. A legacy, he notes, is something tangible you place in others that permanently transforms them and lives long after you die. He writes, “A legacy is something you leave in your family and loved ones.” [9]
If we are truly producing the fruit of holiness in our lives, it will manifest itself in those places we are most off guard – with our family and loved ones, not just when we are on our best behavior. Sometimes, people can try hard to be generous, giving some homeless man on the street a blanket but then come home and be distant or demanding with their spouse. This misses the mark. They may feel good about themselves for ministering to others, making a difference, but they fail to minister where it matters the most to God, with their very own spouse and children.
At the end of our days, how we spent our life with our spouse and how we treated our spouse will matter significantly. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:28-29,33 says, “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife lives himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church...let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Where generosity needs to be demonstrated first is in our homes with our spouses and children. Deuteronomy 6:6 says that our first obligation is to “teach them [the commandments of God] to our children.” We can only do this by demonstrating and living the gospel out at home.
Mort Fertel, in a recent email writes:
How we treat others, especially those closest to us, is not dependent upon circumstance at the moment that are around us or in our marriage relationship. When I was having a great deal of pain and difficulty in my marriage some years ago and wanted to quit, God spoke to me that obeying His commandments were not dependent upon what other's choose. I could still live out the gospel in my marriage. As Steven Covey often says, 'love is verb.' It is not how we feel but our emotions follow our actions. When we love those closest to us, the feelings follow.
We are to love people generously, giving them grace even when they are at their worst. Jesus says in Matthew 5:47-48 (MSG), “This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
“Where would I be without someone to save me, someone who won't let me fall?... You are everything I live for... everything good in my life.”
I could not choose whether my husband loved me in return or chose to stay in our marriage. But as I loved him, coming under him and building him up, over time he changed. He became a different person. And as he changed, he began to love me in return. Neither of us are perfect, but we do deeply love each other, build each other up, and are there for each other.[a]
Father, Forgive me where I have failed to notice those in need right in front of me. I too often have been caught up in things that seemed urgent and pressing at the moment, but don't have any long term significance. And forgive me where I have not lived out the gospel out in my own household.
Jesus, Would you have your way in our lives? Help us to live our lives according to what truly has significance in Your eyes. Help us not to be distracted by the world or led off course. Help us to be those who seize every moment of every day. Give us eyes to see those in need and hearts that follow. May we be those who live generously and graciously toward others, especially our families and those closest to us.
1, 6, 7. Radmacher, E. D., Allen, R. B., & House, H. W. (1997). The Nelson study Bible : New King James Version. Includes index. Nashville: T. Nelson Publishers.
8. Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible. Located at: http://biblecommenter.com/proverbs/27-5.htm. Last Accessed: 1/1/11.
2-5. Kempis, Thomas a. The Imitation of Christ. Dover Publications, Inc. Mineola, New York. 2003.
9. Maxwell, John. The Maxwell Leadership Bible, Second Edition. NKJV. Lessons in Leadership from the Word of God. Thomas Nelson. Nashville, Tennessee. 2007.
10.Fertel, Mort. Is This Your Marriage’s Last Chance. Love Romance Relationship. Located at: http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/is-this-your-marriage%E2%80%99s-last-chance/ Last Accessed: 1/3/10.
[a] I am not directly addressing abusive relationships here where one spouse may not be safe in the household. In this case, love may very well look like separation, setting clear boundaries, and giving one's spouse ultimatums on receiving help for their out of control behaviors, as well as receiving counseling for oneself.
One commentary notes about this, “David asserts that life on earth is transitory and even nomadic. Only when a person becomes conscious of his or her place within the care and blessing of a sovereign God does life become more than a shadow. Suddenly the hope of a future with God illuminates that person’s journey on this earth (see Heb. 11:13–16; 13:14).” [1]
Thomas Kempis writes, “Very soon your life here will end; consider, then, what may be in store for you elsewhere. Today we live; tomorrow we die and are quickly forgotten. Oh, the dullness and hardness of a heart which looks only to the present instead of preparing for that which is to come!” [2]
1 Chronicles is a book filled with names. The first nine chapters are genealogies, listing name after name of lineage, following from Adam forward. And just when you think you might be done with reading names, it starts up again in chapter 11 listing all of David's mighty men. Then in chapter 23-27, it picks up the process again by listing the names included in the divisions of levites, priests, musicians, gatekeepers, treasurers, military leaders, leaders of tribes and other state officials.
So why should these names matter? While some of the names I recognize and have some significance because they are listed in other places in the bible – I know their story. However, many of the names I don't even recognize or, to be honest, really care much about. For instance, Happizzez was a priest who served in the house of the Lord according to a schedule held by lots. He held the 18th of 24 lots. And he is found in 1 Chronicles. 24:15. Nothing more is known about him or mentioned of him.
Happizzez was one of many names of people who had walked on this earth before us. He had a family, friends, and people's lives he influenced. He had hopes and dreams. He may have been crabby and self righteous so people forgot him quickly after he departed. Or he may have been kind and generous, always willing to lend a helping hand, so people remembered him and grieved over him for years after he passed on. All we know is that he, like the many other names listed, played a small part in God's kingdom, holding a position of service to God.
So what gives our lives significance? How do we determine a life well spent?
When I was a teen, I thought what gave my life significance was how I looked. I thought if I looked good and was attractive like the women portrayed in advertising, then my life had meaning and significance. What I thought mattered was the friends I hung out with, the image I portrayed to others, and the clothes I wore.
As I grew older, I thought what gave my life significance was the position I held. It was important to me where I worked, what my title was, and how much I made. It was a standard of success on the world's terms and made me feel like I had some value. However, when I die, my title will matter to others about as much as it does for me with Happizzez. Most people could care less. Nobody will probably say at my funeral, 'Wow, I am so impressed that Twila went into finance/accounting. She had such talent with numbers and amazing ten-key skills. I am really going to miss that about her.'
Not that it doesn't matter if we do our jobs with excellence. The contribution we make at work matters. Competence in how we perform our work, as well as character -the way we live our lives, gives us credibility and respect with others. This allows allows us to have influence in their lives. But what matters most is what we do with this, in how we make a contribution in their lives.
At ones funeral, what people will talk about how we made a difference in their lives. The loss they will grieve is the loss of relationship. It will have been the genuine care we had and demonstrated that made a difference.
Thomas Kempis writes, “What good is it to live a long life when we amend that life so little? Indeed, a long life does not always benefit us, but on the contrary, frequently adds to our guilt. Would that in this life we had lived well throughout one single day.” [3]
Many years ago when I just graduated college, my husband had a friend from work whose name was Jim. Jim was an older gentleman who genuinely loved and enjoyed people. When I would call my husbands work to talk with my husband, I was always so serious and professional. Jim would get on the phone and say something to make me laugh. I couldn't help but laugh when he was around. He brightened my day.
He helped my husband and I get our first car together. We were barely making it by financially and were not sure how we could afford a car. Jim called a car dealership and instantly we were given an exceptional deal on a new car and extended financing for it. Wherever he went, people responded to Jim. If he went somewhere more than once, you could be certain that most everyone knew his name and would go out of their way for him (as he had done for them).
Jim passed on suddenly and unexpectedly. He was diagnosed with cancer. When he received the news, he came home that evening and died. Jim's funeral was packed. People came from everywhere to pay their respects to him.
Jim did not have an extraordinary position and he was not famous. Yet, Jim had significance in my life. Jim's life mattered to me because it touched my life and influenced me. Jim didn't do anything that was extraordinary, like save our lives, but it was his genuine care for my husband and I that touched our hearts and mattered. I was so glad to have the opportunity to know him. I miss him in our lives and will always remember him.
I don't know if Jim was a Christian (I was not one at the time) but I deeply admire the life he lived. He lived a life of significance because he touched and influenced others with genuine love, care and kindness.
Thomas Kempis writes, “Many count up the years they have spent in religion but find their lives made little holier. If it is so terrifying to die, it is nevertheless possible that to live longer is more dangerous. Blessed is he who keeps the moment of death ever before his eyes and prepares for it every day.” [4]
We need to seize the day. Thomas Kempis writes that when it is morning, we should not presume we will live to evening and in the evening, we should not assume we have another day. He writes, “Be always ready, therefore, and so live that death will never take you unprepared. Many die suddenly and unexpectedly, for in the unexpected hour the Son of God will come. When that last moment arrives you will begin to have a quite different opinion of life that is now entirely past and you will regret very much that you were so careless and remiss.” [5]
James 4:13-14 says, “Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
One should not presume that they have all the time in the world and can put off those things that really matter and have significance to do whatever they want for now. The problem was not in them planning for the future, but in them putting off God's purposes in their lives for things that are frivolous, selfish pursuits. As commentary notes, they left God out and made their own plans. [6]
I think what often happens is not so much that we purposely make plans outside of God. What happens is that we get distracted by the world. We start with good intentions of serving God with our lives, but then as we go into the world, we rather conduct business and make money. We fail to see the opportunities that God has set before us.
Instead, we are so busy and hurried with 'the thick of thin things' as Steven Covey would say. The urgent things that don't really matter in the long run suck our time and take our energy and distract us from things that have significance and true impact.
Often, we see opportunities God places in front of us as interruptions from getting our work done. We become irritated and frustrated by interruptions, missing everything God has for us. We will go home at the end of the day feeling empty, discontent and wishing our lives had more meaning and depth. Our days on earth will be as a shadow and without hope.
Proverbs 27:1 says, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” The irony is that we are trying to find our significance in what we do and fail to find it at all. We are looking successes on the world's terms and what we can boast about. In doing so, we are completely unavailable for God's purposes and what may bring true significance.
“Take it all, cause I can't take it any longer, all I have, I can't make it on my own”
It is only as we let go of the world, seeking our significance, trying to earn money, gain power, etc. etc. that we can slow down and come present to the moment. It is only in this place (present to the moment and present to God) that we are in position to give our lives away to those around us.
Coming back to the scripture I first noted in 1 Chronicles 29, that we are aliens and pilgrims before God in this world. There is nothing in this world that is going to give us true joy and contentment. It is our friendship with God, living our lives with God and for God that gives us hope and meaning.
Abiding in His love, we are filled with His joy. And filled with gratitude, this spills over into rich generosity in the lives of others. This is often despite our circumstances not because of them. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 8:2-4, “Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints.”
“Creator God calling me Your friend... Sing a song of hope, sing along, God of heaven come down!... Just to know you and be loved is enough, God of heaven come down.”
David goes on to say in verses 17-18 about having an abundance of preparations for the dwelling place of God, “I know also, my God, that You test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. As for me, in the uprightness of my heart I have willingly offered all these things; and now with joy I have seen Your people, who are present here to offer willingly to You. O Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, our fathers, keep this forever in the intent of the thoughts of the heart of Your people, and fix their heart toward You.”
Commentary notes about these verses, “A righteous life always produces a generous spirit. For this reason, David could proclaim that his giving was only out of the uprightness of his heart. Moreover, his joy was heightened all the more when he saw that his people also understood this principle of true giving.” [7]
True growth in holiness in our lives does not bear fruit of self-righteousness, envy, competitiveness, or judgmentalism. Rather, the true fruit from God's Spirit will produce in our lives a generous spirit towards others. We will care about other's needs and be willing to be part of the solution. We will stop, listen, and love our neighbors freely and unconditionally.
James 2:16 says that if you tell someone to go in peace, be warm and filled, and then do nothing to meet that person's need, what use is your religion? And 1 John 3:17 says that if you have something available to you that can be used to help someone else out but ignore their need and fail to have pity on them, how can the love of God be in you?
“Give me your heart for the one's forgotten, give me your eyes so I can see” sings.
As my pastor mentioned in his sermon a week ago, when we find ourselves irritable over interruptions and have lost our joy, it is a cue to us that we are focused on ourselves. And when we are focused on ourselves, we will walk right by the person in need without noticing.
We fail to make small talk with the woman making our coffee at the coffee shop because we are in a hurry. We fail to find out that she may be evicted with her kids and they will all be out on the street if she doesn't come up with an extra $50 this month.
“Tell me to slow down, turn around, and change the way I'm going”
In a seminar I was in a year or two ago, I heard a true story that went something like this:
There was a woman who came into a coffee shop day after day for her coffee. Through some regular small talk, she eventually got to know the clerk who served her coffee. One day, she went into the coffee shop and her friend was not there to serve her coffee. She asked the manager and found out that young lady who served her coffee was in the hospital. She went to check on her friend in the hospital and found out she was in desperate need for a kidney transplant or she would die. Nobody had came forward to help her. She had herself checked, and as it turns out, she was a perfect match for the kidney donation! She gave her kidney away and ended up saving the young lady's life. They now share their story to inspire others.
Proverbs 3:27-28 says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,’ when you have it with you.”
We miss the need and fail to have pity because our eyes are not on our Eternal Treasure, Jesus our awaiting groom, but rather on ourselves. Jesus reminds us that we need to set our eyes on our eternal destiny and act accordingly in Matthew 25:24-40 when He says about His coming and final judgment: “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”
When we fail to have our eyes on Jesus, our Eternal Treasure, we will miss the mark. Sometimes it is by indifference or being caught up in the world. Other times we can miss the mark by focusing on religion and and falling into self-righteousness and judgment of others. Yet, another way we miss the mark is by trying to hard and falling into self-effort.
Sometimes we (okay me) try to love others in our own strength and end up being nice or over accommodating. When someone people pleases, they are not looking out for the other's best interest but rather manipulating them to meet their own needs/desires. People pleasing may make superficial friends, but it fails to make the heart connection that will make a difference in other's lives. What happens instead is that people walk all over us and then move on when we are no longer accommodating to them. Proverbs 19:4 says, “Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him.”
Rather, genuine love edifies and helps others grow. Proverbs 28:23 says, “He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.” To rebuke someone does not mean to be harsh with them, demand action from them, judge them, and/or act in an effort to control them.
Rather, the word rebuke means to convince or prove something. One causes another to think about their actions in a way that creates meaningful change in their hearts. This can only be done in a spirit of love and acceptance, in a trusting relationship. There is a genuine heart connection that influences the other's life and creates change.
Proverbs 27:5 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Sometimes we can sit back and say nothing for fear for damaging the relationship or hurting the other's feelings. We need to be willing to take risks if we are going to make a difference in someone's life.
One commentary notes about this verse, “This is to be understood, not of rebuke publicly given... but it signifies reproof given faithfully and plainly, with openness of heart, and without mincing the matter, and palliating the offence; but speaking out freely, and faithfully laying before a person the evil of his sin, in all the circumstances of it.... Now such kind of reproof is better than such love to a person as will not suffer him to tell him of his faults, for fear of grieving him, or losing his friendship; or than such love as does not show itself in deeds, and particularly in faithful reproofs; for so to act is to hate a person, and suffer sin to be upon him, Leviticus 19:17. [8]
When we help others grow, we are creating a legacy. John Maxwell writes, “God encourages us to fix our eyes on the things that endure. In light of eternity, leaders cannot become consumed with the temporary. Leaders cannot allow the pursuit of wealth or power to move them (Ps. 49:12,13). Only a vision that outlives them, a vision connected to eternity, will fulfill a godly leader. In other words, we must build a legacy. What are we going to live behind when we die? Psalm 49:17 reminds us we will take nothing with us, no matter how rich we become. So what will we leave behind that counts?” He goes on to note that there is a huge difference between giving someone an inheritance and leaving a legacy. An inheritance is something tangible that is eventually spent. A legacy, he notes, is something tangible you place in others that permanently transforms them and lives long after you die. He writes, “A legacy is something you leave in your family and loved ones.” [9]
If we are truly producing the fruit of holiness in our lives, it will manifest itself in those places we are most off guard – with our family and loved ones, not just when we are on our best behavior. Sometimes, people can try hard to be generous, giving some homeless man on the street a blanket but then come home and be distant or demanding with their spouse. This misses the mark. They may feel good about themselves for ministering to others, making a difference, but they fail to minister where it matters the most to God, with their very own spouse and children.
At the end of our days, how we spent our life with our spouse and how we treated our spouse will matter significantly. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:28-29,33 says, “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife lives himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church...let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Where generosity needs to be demonstrated first is in our homes with our spouses and children. Deuteronomy 6:6 says that our first obligation is to “teach them [the commandments of God] to our children.” We can only do this by demonstrating and living the gospel out at home.
Mort Fertel, in a recent email writes:
“I just had to share this story with you.Just as with other things, we can get distracted by the world. We get caught up in doing life, become preoccupied with the world, and then are distant from their spouses or unkind to them. We become focused on ourselves and our needs. Or we may become distracted with outside pressures and fail to see our children needing our attention right in-front of us.
Two businessmen attend the funeral of a mutual colleague.
One man says to the other, “How much did he leave?”
The other responds, “He left it all.”
Everyone leaves it all. And nobody on their death bed wishes they spent more time acquiring more to leave. But I think most people, when they look into the eyes of their spouse for the last time, realize that it’s their marriage, the primary relationship in their life, that is eternally meaningful. Too many people realize in those parting moments that they should have done things differently.
We all know in the depths of our heart what’s really important in life. But we forget and get distracted. Consider this short story a gentle reminder to REFOCUS ON YOUR MARRIAGE.” [10]
How we treat others, especially those closest to us, is not dependent upon circumstance at the moment that are around us or in our marriage relationship. When I was having a great deal of pain and difficulty in my marriage some years ago and wanted to quit, God spoke to me that obeying His commandments were not dependent upon what other's choose. I could still live out the gospel in my marriage. As Steven Covey often says, 'love is verb.' It is not how we feel but our emotions follow our actions. When we love those closest to us, the feelings follow.
We are to love people generously, giving them grace even when they are at their worst. Jesus says in Matthew 5:47-48 (MSG), “This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
“Where would I be without someone to save me, someone who won't let me fall?... You are everything I live for... everything good in my life.”
I could not choose whether my husband loved me in return or chose to stay in our marriage. But as I loved him, coming under him and building him up, over time he changed. He became a different person. And as he changed, he began to love me in return. Neither of us are perfect, but we do deeply love each other, build each other up, and are there for each other.[a]
Father, Forgive me where I have failed to notice those in need right in front of me. I too often have been caught up in things that seemed urgent and pressing at the moment, but don't have any long term significance. And forgive me where I have not lived out the gospel out in my own household.
Jesus, Would you have your way in our lives? Help us to live our lives according to what truly has significance in Your eyes. Help us not to be distracted by the world or led off course. Help us to be those who seize every moment of every day. Give us eyes to see those in need and hearts that follow. May we be those who live generously and graciously toward others, especially our families and those closest to us.
1, 6, 7. Radmacher, E. D., Allen, R. B., & House, H. W. (1997). The Nelson study Bible : New King James Version. Includes index. Nashville: T. Nelson Publishers.
8. Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible. Located at: http://biblecommenter.com/proverbs/27-5.htm. Last Accessed: 1/1/11.
2-5. Kempis, Thomas a. The Imitation of Christ. Dover Publications, Inc. Mineola, New York. 2003.
9. Maxwell, John. The Maxwell Leadership Bible, Second Edition. NKJV. Lessons in Leadership from the Word of God. Thomas Nelson. Nashville, Tennessee. 2007.
10.Fertel, Mort. Is This Your Marriage’s Last Chance. Love Romance Relationship. Located at: http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/is-this-your-marriage%E2%80%99s-last-chance/ Last Accessed: 1/3/10.
[a] I am not directly addressing abusive relationships here where one spouse may not be safe in the household. In this case, love may very well look like separation, setting clear boundaries, and giving one's spouse ultimatums on receiving help for their out of control behaviors, as well as receiving counseling for oneself.
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