"All the earth shall be devoured with the fire of My jealousy" (Zeph 3:8)
“Woe to her who is rebellious and polluted, to the oppressing city! She has not obeyed His voice, she has not received correction; She has not trusted in the Lord, she has not drawn near to her God. Her princes in her midst are roaring lions; Her judges are evening wolves that leave not a bone till morning. Her prophets are insolent, treacherous people; Her priests have polluted the sanctuary, they have done violence to the law.
The Lord is righteous in her midst, He will do no unrighteousness. Every morning He brings His justice to light; He never fails, but the unjust knows no shame. 'I have cut off nations, their fortresses are devastated; I have made their streets desolate, with none passing by. Their cities are destroyed; There is no one, no inhabitant. I said, 'Surely you will fear Me, you will receive instruction' -so that her dwelling would not be cut off, despite everything for which I punished her. But they rose early and corrupted all their deeds.
'Therefore wait for Me,' says the Lord, 'Until the day I rise up for plunder; My determination is to gather the nations to My assembly of kingdoms, to pour on them My indignation, all My fierce anger; All the earth shall be devoured with the fire of My jealousy.
For then I will restore to the peoples a pure language, that they all may call on the name of the Lord, to serve Him with one accord. From beyond the rivers of Ethiopia My worshipers, the daughter of My dispersed ones, shall bring My offering. In that day you shall not be shamed for any of your deeds in which you transgress against Me; For then I will take away from your midst those who rejoice in your pride, and you shall no longer be haughty in My holy mountain.
I will leave in your midst a meek and humble people, and they shall trust in the name of the Lord. The remnant of Israel shall do no unrighteousness and speak no lies, nor shall a deceitful tongue be found in their mouth; For they shall feed their flocks and lie down, and no one shall make them afraid.'” (Zephaniah 3:1-13)
This verse speaks of purging the land of sin and purifying the people by the fire of God's jealousy. Zephaniah speaks of of this happening in the 'great day of the Lord.” Zephaniah 1:18 says something similar, “Neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to deliver them in the day of the Lord's wrath; But the whole land shall be devoured by the fire of His jealousy, For He will make speedy riddance of all those who dwell in the land.” [a]
Commentary notes about this verse, “His judgment will spread throughout the entire land consuming all in its path. It will be so complete and awesome that it is likened to fire. All that dwell in the land will either be slain or taken captive. All of this because God is jealous for His people and will not permit them to continue in their sin.” [1]
When Zephaniah spoke, his words were like fire, purging sin and breaking strongholds. He spoke the truth of the Lord boldly. The Lord says in Jeremiah 23:29, “Is not my word like fire," declares the LORD, "and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?”
Zephaniah boldly spoke the truth about the sin of the leaders without softening it or couching it in compliments. John Maxwell notes that he didn't allow his position or power, being of a royal line, to water down his convictions. “He called a spade, a spade.” [2]
John Maxwell writes, “While not everyone agreed with Zephaniah's judgment on Judah, he gained widespread credibility due to his ability to confront tough issues. He called out specific groups of people to be judged for their sins, then named their specific sins. When leaders are willing to confront difficult issues, they win the respect of others.” [3]
Coming back to what I wrote last week, Obadiah says about the last days, “The house of Jacob shall be a fire, and the house of Joseph a flame” kindling and burning up the stubble of the house of Esau (Obadiah 18).
Jesus continually confronted sin. When the women were weeping and mourning for Him as he went to the cross, he turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For indeed the days are coming in which they will say, 'Blessed are the barren, wombs that never bore, and the breasts which never nursed!' Then they will begin 'to say to the mountains, 'Fall on us!' and to the hills, 'Cover us!' For if they do these things in the green wood, what will be done in the dry?”
And as followers of Christ, we are also called to confront sin in our brother. Jesus says in Matthew 18:15-17, “If your brother sins go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.”
One author, Ginger Taylor, writes on her blog, “We tend to confront things in people that we do not like, but to shy away from confronting on sin using scripture. Ironically, both of these can be sin in themselves.” [4]
Ginger Taylor notes, “We are commanded to hold each other accountable and make each other stronger. God has given us a brilliant plan for this that keeps all close by his side. Because we are fallen and sinful, we will have conflicts. God has given us a model for working out those conflicts, whether they are big or small. We are to confront sin and but work toward overlooking personal offenses.” [5]
2 Timothy 4:2 says, “Preach the world; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.”
While it may feel uncomfortable being confronted in one's sins, it actually helps one to grow and become more Christlike. Ginger Taylor refers to Proverbs 27:17, which says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” [6]
When we fear the Lord, we hate sin and do not want it in our lives (Proverbs 8:13) – no matter the cost to our pride. Proverbs 9:8 says, Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.”
Ideally, in humility, we will be the first to set an example of confession of our own sins with a desire to grow in Christlikeness and true godliness. James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.”
And it is in this heart of humility and identification with our brother, that we can help them get freedom as well. We first need to be teachable ourselves so that it is in gentleness and kindness that we can correct others.
2 Timothy 2:24-25 says, “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged.
With gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”
According to Steven Covey, it is in both courage and consideration that we should approach someone who is doing wrong. We confront them in gentleness and compassion with a desire to see them set free and grow, not judge them. This comes from a heart of humility and brokenness over our own struggles with sin.
Matthew 7:3-5 says, “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
As Ginger Taylor writes about this verse, “Note that the passage does not tell us not to take the log out of our brother’s eye, but to first deal with our own sin. This process restores both the confronter and the confronted to Christ, pulling all back into unity in Him.” [7]
As an example, when I was a new Christian, I was struggling with a severe depression that was beginning to incapacitate me. It was the result of work burn-out from working long hours combined with my father passing away and all the anger, disappointment and hurt I had held towards him and buried that started to come up. I was terrified about what was happening to me.
During this time, it created a tremendous amount of anxiety for me to be in public group settings. I started to attend a small church group of women on Saturday morning. It took everything I had inside me to attend. I snuck in and sat down off by myself hoping that nobody would notice me.
I must have had an odd look on my face because one of the leaders looked over at me and then stood up and prayed to cast out the 'demonic spirit' and attitude that came in with 'some people.' By her words and attitude, I could tell she was clearly unhappy with me. I felt incredibly hurt by her accusation. It added pain to my pain.
The truth is that there was probably a demonic spirit involved in the incapacitating fear and depression that I was struggling with. But the truth was also that my intention was not to cause her any harm. I was just hungry to find Christ in the midst of my pain.
However, too often, remembering the pain and bondage I came from and not knowing how to get free, I can be over-accommodating of other people's sin. This is especially true with people with mental illness or are struggling in tremendous pain. I make excuses for them and associate their poor behavior as something that is outside of their ability to manage rather than poor choices that need to be corrected and changed. I then pretend I don't see their bad behavior and 'overlook' it.
I also am at times over-accommodating with the sin of my staff who work for me. Recently I had a dream that my old boss (the one who led me to the Lord) sat down to have a talk with me. He said I was being too protective of my staff and letting them get away with not performing. I woke up knowing he was right. I had been letting my staff get away with making excuses for not obtaining results. I was being over protective of them because I was concerned about work burn-out with the high stress and high volumes of work. However, I was over compensating for my own fears with being over-protective of them. I was overlooking some things I needed to confront and challenge in them to accomplish.
Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger. And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.”
This verse is not to be an excuse for avoiding conflict and not dealing with sin. The word “overlook” used in this proverb is the Hebrew word 'abar.' It also translates as to 'pass over' or 'cross over'. It actually means to go through and get to the other side, moving away from it. Another word used to define overlook is to carry. [8]
Jesus did not overlook our transgressions in the sense that He ignored them and pretended they didn't exist or accommodated them. Instead He acknowledged them, absorbed them, taking them onto Himself, and carried them to the cross, laying down His life so that we would have freedom. He did not leave us in our sin, but rather He went through our sin with us, paying the penalty, in order to move us to the other side and away from our sin.
When I ignore sin, really what I am really doing is not 'overlooking' but shrinking back from speaking the truth in fear. The reason I shrink back is not that I don't care but most often that I am afraid of causing the other person harm. Another reason I can once and awhile shrink back from speaking the truth is in fear of rejection or in fear of retaliation, especially if there is an imbalance of power.
Dealing with another person's offense does mean not blasting them with anger or paying them back by causing them harm because they hurt us. Speaking the truth in love never causes another harm. Rather, it brings healing. It may hurt their feelings, but if it is spoken to help a person to grow and become better, it is for their benefit out of love and compassion.
Dealing with an offense means to forgive someone for causing us harm and then, in humility, reaching out a hand to help them up out of their sin. In Matthew 18:21 it says, “Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'
In forgiving someone for causing us harm and then helping them up, we are bearing with them and overlooking their offense against us. Colossians 3:12-13 says, “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
And Paul says in Philippians 2:5-11, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
Dealing with an offense also does not mean being overly critical of someone, pointing out their every fault and/or speaking up when their shortcomings annoy us. An example of this would be in 2 Samuel 6:20-23 where Michal criticized David for the way he danced and worshiped God before the maids of his servants.
There are times to overlook shortcomings without bringing them to the attention of the other party. When deciding if a sin is too serious to overlook, Ken Sande recommends considering the following questions about the matter:
- “Is it dishonoring God?”
- “Is it damaging your relationships?”
- “Is it hurting others?”
- “Is it hurting the offender?” [9]
I would also add to this list, 'Is the person belligerent and mocking or not?' Proverbs 9:8 says, “Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you.” And Jesus says in Matthew 5:39, “Do not resist and evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
There are times that the action of absorbing someone's anger while not striking back or speaking up speaks volumes about who we are, what we believe, and our capacity to love, more than words ever could.
In some cases, we are not only to confront sin, but to continue to pursue someone in their sin when they ignore or overlook our rebuke. Jesus goes on to say in Matthew 18:16-17, “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as Gentile and a tax collector.”
The temptation in this verse is to use it as an excuse to gossip and point out someones weaknesses to a fellow believer. We can go to a third party using this verse as an excuse to tell them all about how we have been wronged and how bad the other person is. Then the two or three of us can go to this believer who sinned and all gang up on him or her and feel biblical about doing it. However, this is not how God deals with us. He pursues us in love with hopes for us to turn from sin. It is His kindness towards us that leads us to repentance.
As a friend noted recently on his facebook page, The Lord says in Ez. 33:11, “I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live.”
Ken Sande in his book “The Peace Maker” notes that the third party is to serve as an objective intermediary. They should shuttle between both sides to promote understanding. They improve communication and offer biblical counsel to both parties. A counselor or a church leader is a good example. Ken Sande writes that they should be “wise and spiritually mature Christians who are worthy of your respect and trust (1 Cor. 6:5; Gal. 6:1).” [10]
One of the greatest temptations in seeing a brother's exposed sin and being in a position to confront them, as noted by Ginger Taylor, is to elevate ourselves above our brother. Ginger writes, “Confrontation is not to be done as a reaction to being injured out of selfish anger, but as a proactive act of service to the one being confronted. We are not to elevate ourselves above others, bur follow Christ’s example and consider one another more important than ourselves.” [11]
Ephesians 4:1-4 says, “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.” [b] [c]
Lord, forgive me for my so many ways of failure to confront sin when I have needed to. Forgive me where I have shrunk back for whatever reason and failed to speak up or stand up for what I believe and know. Forgive me where I have buried the truth rather than speaking it forth.
"I will not hold back anymore, more than a Savior, You are my Lord" sings in the background.
Would you help us to be more like You? Would You lead us and guide us in Your light and wisdom to know when and how to provide correction to others. And would you fill us with Your love and compassion in doing so.
a. Malachi also speaks of Jesus coming like fire and purifying His bride. Malachi 3:2-3 says, “But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiners fire and like a launderers' soap. He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer to the Lord an offering in righteousness.”
Malachi 4:1-3 goes on to say about the great day of the Lord, “'For behold, the day is coming, burning like an oven, and all the proud, yes, all who do wickedness will be stubble. And the day which is coming shall burn them up,' says the Lord of hosts, 'That will leave them neither root nor branch. But to you who fear My name the Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in His wings; and you shall go out and grow fat like stall-fed calves. You shall trample the wicked, for they shall be as ashes under the soles of your feet on the day that I do this,' says the Lord of hosts.”
b. When we have our eyes on Christ and we have a united purpose to accomplish that we are passionate about, unity naturally follows. Ginger Taylor writes, “If we have the same love, the same obedience and the same purpose in life, we will be headed toward the same goal...” [12]
We naturally appreciate and support the others who also are moving towards the same end goal. We desire to see them flourish because in their flourishing, so does the cause we seek to see accomplished.
Sometimes we may invest in others and support their cause because we care about them and appreciate them. What is important to them becomes important to us. We take on their causes as our own. Othertimes we invest in others and come to care about them because they are moving towards the same end we desire to see accomplished. We need them to flourish and suceed in order to achieve the desired goal. This is especially true when there is a purpose to achieve that is much bigger than we can accomplish on our own.
Ginger Taylor notes an exerpt from 'The Cause Driven Church” by Erwin McManus where McManus states that the army of God is centered on cause rather than community. He writes, “Healthy community flows out of a unified cause – not the other way around. Jesus called his disciples and said, “Follow me. I’ll make you fishers of men.” This was not an offer of community. “Follow me and I will give you something worthy of giving your life to” is a statement of cause. But the neat thing is, when they came to the cause, they found community like they never knew could exist. That’s the power of the church.
One danger of the American church is that we often try to offer people community with out cause. Without cause, you’re just another civic organization. You don’t have life transformation. Jesus said, “I have come to the world to seek and to save that which is lost.” The cause of Christ is accomplished by expanding the kingdom of God…” [13]
c. For more scripture and references on conflict see Ginger Taylor's blog, Daily Discernment. Many of the scriptures I used on addressing conflict came from her site. It is called “Confronting Sin In Your Christian Brother.” Located at: http://dailydiscernment.wordpress.com/2008/05/14/confronting-sin-in-your-christian-brother/ Last Accessed: 5/2/11.
1. KJV Bible Commentary. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1997, c1994, S. 1777.
2-3. Maxwell, John. The Maxwell Leadership Bible, Second Edition. NKJV. Lessons in Leadership from the Word of God. Thomas Nelson. Nashville, Tennessee. 2007.
4-7, 11-13. Taylor, Ginger. Daily Discernment. Confronting Sin In Your Christian Brother. Located at: http://dailydiscernment.wordpress.com/2008/05/14/confronting-sin-in-your-christian-brother/ Last Accessed: 5/2/11.
9-10. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. BakerBooks, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.
The Lord is righteous in her midst, He will do no unrighteousness. Every morning He brings His justice to light; He never fails, but the unjust knows no shame. 'I have cut off nations, their fortresses are devastated; I have made their streets desolate, with none passing by. Their cities are destroyed; There is no one, no inhabitant. I said, 'Surely you will fear Me, you will receive instruction' -so that her dwelling would not be cut off, despite everything for which I punished her. But they rose early and corrupted all their deeds.
'Therefore wait for Me,' says the Lord, 'Until the day I rise up for plunder; My determination is to gather the nations to My assembly of kingdoms, to pour on them My indignation, all My fierce anger; All the earth shall be devoured with the fire of My jealousy.
For then I will restore to the peoples a pure language, that they all may call on the name of the Lord, to serve Him with one accord. From beyond the rivers of Ethiopia My worshipers, the daughter of My dispersed ones, shall bring My offering. In that day you shall not be shamed for any of your deeds in which you transgress against Me; For then I will take away from your midst those who rejoice in your pride, and you shall no longer be haughty in My holy mountain.
I will leave in your midst a meek and humble people, and they shall trust in the name of the Lord. The remnant of Israel shall do no unrighteousness and speak no lies, nor shall a deceitful tongue be found in their mouth; For they shall feed their flocks and lie down, and no one shall make them afraid.'” (Zephaniah 3:1-13)
This verse speaks of purging the land of sin and purifying the people by the fire of God's jealousy. Zephaniah speaks of of this happening in the 'great day of the Lord.” Zephaniah 1:18 says something similar, “Neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to deliver them in the day of the Lord's wrath; But the whole land shall be devoured by the fire of His jealousy, For He will make speedy riddance of all those who dwell in the land.” [a]
Commentary notes about this verse, “His judgment will spread throughout the entire land consuming all in its path. It will be so complete and awesome that it is likened to fire. All that dwell in the land will either be slain or taken captive. All of this because God is jealous for His people and will not permit them to continue in their sin.” [1]
When Zephaniah spoke, his words were like fire, purging sin and breaking strongholds. He spoke the truth of the Lord boldly. The Lord says in Jeremiah 23:29, “Is not my word like fire," declares the LORD, "and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?”
Zephaniah boldly spoke the truth about the sin of the leaders without softening it or couching it in compliments. John Maxwell notes that he didn't allow his position or power, being of a royal line, to water down his convictions. “He called a spade, a spade.” [2]
John Maxwell writes, “While not everyone agreed with Zephaniah's judgment on Judah, he gained widespread credibility due to his ability to confront tough issues. He called out specific groups of people to be judged for their sins, then named their specific sins. When leaders are willing to confront difficult issues, they win the respect of others.” [3]
Coming back to what I wrote last week, Obadiah says about the last days, “The house of Jacob shall be a fire, and the house of Joseph a flame” kindling and burning up the stubble of the house of Esau (Obadiah 18).
Jesus continually confronted sin. When the women were weeping and mourning for Him as he went to the cross, he turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For indeed the days are coming in which they will say, 'Blessed are the barren, wombs that never bore, and the breasts which never nursed!' Then they will begin 'to say to the mountains, 'Fall on us!' and to the hills, 'Cover us!' For if they do these things in the green wood, what will be done in the dry?”
And as followers of Christ, we are also called to confront sin in our brother. Jesus says in Matthew 18:15-17, “If your brother sins go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.”
One author, Ginger Taylor, writes on her blog, “We tend to confront things in people that we do not like, but to shy away from confronting on sin using scripture. Ironically, both of these can be sin in themselves.” [4]
Ginger Taylor notes, “We are commanded to hold each other accountable and make each other stronger. God has given us a brilliant plan for this that keeps all close by his side. Because we are fallen and sinful, we will have conflicts. God has given us a model for working out those conflicts, whether they are big or small. We are to confront sin and but work toward overlooking personal offenses.” [5]
2 Timothy 4:2 says, “Preach the world; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.”
While it may feel uncomfortable being confronted in one's sins, it actually helps one to grow and become more Christlike. Ginger Taylor refers to Proverbs 27:17, which says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” [6]
When we fear the Lord, we hate sin and do not want it in our lives (Proverbs 8:13) – no matter the cost to our pride. Proverbs 9:8 says, Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.”
Ideally, in humility, we will be the first to set an example of confession of our own sins with a desire to grow in Christlikeness and true godliness. James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.”
And it is in this heart of humility and identification with our brother, that we can help them get freedom as well. We first need to be teachable ourselves so that it is in gentleness and kindness that we can correct others.
2 Timothy 2:24-25 says, “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged.
With gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”
According to Steven Covey, it is in both courage and consideration that we should approach someone who is doing wrong. We confront them in gentleness and compassion with a desire to see them set free and grow, not judge them. This comes from a heart of humility and brokenness over our own struggles with sin.
Matthew 7:3-5 says, “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
As Ginger Taylor writes about this verse, “Note that the passage does not tell us not to take the log out of our brother’s eye, but to first deal with our own sin. This process restores both the confronter and the confronted to Christ, pulling all back into unity in Him.” [7]
As an example, when I was a new Christian, I was struggling with a severe depression that was beginning to incapacitate me. It was the result of work burn-out from working long hours combined with my father passing away and all the anger, disappointment and hurt I had held towards him and buried that started to come up. I was terrified about what was happening to me.
During this time, it created a tremendous amount of anxiety for me to be in public group settings. I started to attend a small church group of women on Saturday morning. It took everything I had inside me to attend. I snuck in and sat down off by myself hoping that nobody would notice me.
I must have had an odd look on my face because one of the leaders looked over at me and then stood up and prayed to cast out the 'demonic spirit' and attitude that came in with 'some people.' By her words and attitude, I could tell she was clearly unhappy with me. I felt incredibly hurt by her accusation. It added pain to my pain.
The truth is that there was probably a demonic spirit involved in the incapacitating fear and depression that I was struggling with. But the truth was also that my intention was not to cause her any harm. I was just hungry to find Christ in the midst of my pain.
However, too often, remembering the pain and bondage I came from and not knowing how to get free, I can be over-accommodating of other people's sin. This is especially true with people with mental illness or are struggling in tremendous pain. I make excuses for them and associate their poor behavior as something that is outside of their ability to manage rather than poor choices that need to be corrected and changed. I then pretend I don't see their bad behavior and 'overlook' it.
I also am at times over-accommodating with the sin of my staff who work for me. Recently I had a dream that my old boss (the one who led me to the Lord) sat down to have a talk with me. He said I was being too protective of my staff and letting them get away with not performing. I woke up knowing he was right. I had been letting my staff get away with making excuses for not obtaining results. I was being over protective of them because I was concerned about work burn-out with the high stress and high volumes of work. However, I was over compensating for my own fears with being over-protective of them. I was overlooking some things I needed to confront and challenge in them to accomplish.
Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger. And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.”
This verse is not to be an excuse for avoiding conflict and not dealing with sin. The word “overlook” used in this proverb is the Hebrew word 'abar.' It also translates as to 'pass over' or 'cross over'. It actually means to go through and get to the other side, moving away from it. Another word used to define overlook is to carry. [8]
Jesus did not overlook our transgressions in the sense that He ignored them and pretended they didn't exist or accommodated them. Instead He acknowledged them, absorbed them, taking them onto Himself, and carried them to the cross, laying down His life so that we would have freedom. He did not leave us in our sin, but rather He went through our sin with us, paying the penalty, in order to move us to the other side and away from our sin.
When I ignore sin, really what I am really doing is not 'overlooking' but shrinking back from speaking the truth in fear. The reason I shrink back is not that I don't care but most often that I am afraid of causing the other person harm. Another reason I can once and awhile shrink back from speaking the truth is in fear of rejection or in fear of retaliation, especially if there is an imbalance of power.
Dealing with another person's offense does mean not blasting them with anger or paying them back by causing them harm because they hurt us. Speaking the truth in love never causes another harm. Rather, it brings healing. It may hurt their feelings, but if it is spoken to help a person to grow and become better, it is for their benefit out of love and compassion.
Dealing with an offense means to forgive someone for causing us harm and then, in humility, reaching out a hand to help them up out of their sin. In Matthew 18:21 it says, “Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'
In forgiving someone for causing us harm and then helping them up, we are bearing with them and overlooking their offense against us. Colossians 3:12-13 says, “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
And Paul says in Philippians 2:5-11, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
Dealing with an offense also does not mean being overly critical of someone, pointing out their every fault and/or speaking up when their shortcomings annoy us. An example of this would be in 2 Samuel 6:20-23 where Michal criticized David for the way he danced and worshiped God before the maids of his servants.
There are times to overlook shortcomings without bringing them to the attention of the other party. When deciding if a sin is too serious to overlook, Ken Sande recommends considering the following questions about the matter:
- “Is it dishonoring God?”
- “Is it damaging your relationships?”
- “Is it hurting others?”
- “Is it hurting the offender?” [9]
I would also add to this list, 'Is the person belligerent and mocking or not?' Proverbs 9:8 says, “Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you.” And Jesus says in Matthew 5:39, “Do not resist and evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
There are times that the action of absorbing someone's anger while not striking back or speaking up speaks volumes about who we are, what we believe, and our capacity to love, more than words ever could.
In some cases, we are not only to confront sin, but to continue to pursue someone in their sin when they ignore or overlook our rebuke. Jesus goes on to say in Matthew 18:16-17, “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as Gentile and a tax collector.”
The temptation in this verse is to use it as an excuse to gossip and point out someones weaknesses to a fellow believer. We can go to a third party using this verse as an excuse to tell them all about how we have been wronged and how bad the other person is. Then the two or three of us can go to this believer who sinned and all gang up on him or her and feel biblical about doing it. However, this is not how God deals with us. He pursues us in love with hopes for us to turn from sin. It is His kindness towards us that leads us to repentance.
As a friend noted recently on his facebook page, The Lord says in Ez. 33:11, “I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live.”
Ken Sande in his book “The Peace Maker” notes that the third party is to serve as an objective intermediary. They should shuttle between both sides to promote understanding. They improve communication and offer biblical counsel to both parties. A counselor or a church leader is a good example. Ken Sande writes that they should be “wise and spiritually mature Christians who are worthy of your respect and trust (1 Cor. 6:5; Gal. 6:1).” [10]
One of the greatest temptations in seeing a brother's exposed sin and being in a position to confront them, as noted by Ginger Taylor, is to elevate ourselves above our brother. Ginger writes, “Confrontation is not to be done as a reaction to being injured out of selfish anger, but as a proactive act of service to the one being confronted. We are not to elevate ourselves above others, bur follow Christ’s example and consider one another more important than ourselves.” [11]
Ephesians 4:1-4 says, “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.” [b] [c]
Lord, forgive me for my so many ways of failure to confront sin when I have needed to. Forgive me where I have shrunk back for whatever reason and failed to speak up or stand up for what I believe and know. Forgive me where I have buried the truth rather than speaking it forth.
"I will not hold back anymore, more than a Savior, You are my Lord" sings in the background.
Would you help us to be more like You? Would You lead us and guide us in Your light and wisdom to know when and how to provide correction to others. And would you fill us with Your love and compassion in doing so.
a. Malachi also speaks of Jesus coming like fire and purifying His bride. Malachi 3:2-3 says, “But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiners fire and like a launderers' soap. He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer to the Lord an offering in righteousness.”
Malachi 4:1-3 goes on to say about the great day of the Lord, “'For behold, the day is coming, burning like an oven, and all the proud, yes, all who do wickedness will be stubble. And the day which is coming shall burn them up,' says the Lord of hosts, 'That will leave them neither root nor branch. But to you who fear My name the Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in His wings; and you shall go out and grow fat like stall-fed calves. You shall trample the wicked, for they shall be as ashes under the soles of your feet on the day that I do this,' says the Lord of hosts.”
b. When we have our eyes on Christ and we have a united purpose to accomplish that we are passionate about, unity naturally follows. Ginger Taylor writes, “If we have the same love, the same obedience and the same purpose in life, we will be headed toward the same goal...” [12]
We naturally appreciate and support the others who also are moving towards the same end goal. We desire to see them flourish because in their flourishing, so does the cause we seek to see accomplished.
Sometimes we may invest in others and support their cause because we care about them and appreciate them. What is important to them becomes important to us. We take on their causes as our own. Othertimes we invest in others and come to care about them because they are moving towards the same end we desire to see accomplished. We need them to flourish and suceed in order to achieve the desired goal. This is especially true when there is a purpose to achieve that is much bigger than we can accomplish on our own.
Ginger Taylor notes an exerpt from 'The Cause Driven Church” by Erwin McManus where McManus states that the army of God is centered on cause rather than community. He writes, “Healthy community flows out of a unified cause – not the other way around. Jesus called his disciples and said, “Follow me. I’ll make you fishers of men.” This was not an offer of community. “Follow me and I will give you something worthy of giving your life to” is a statement of cause. But the neat thing is, when they came to the cause, they found community like they never knew could exist. That’s the power of the church.
One danger of the American church is that we often try to offer people community with out cause. Without cause, you’re just another civic organization. You don’t have life transformation. Jesus said, “I have come to the world to seek and to save that which is lost.” The cause of Christ is accomplished by expanding the kingdom of God…” [13]
c. For more scripture and references on conflict see Ginger Taylor's blog, Daily Discernment. Many of the scriptures I used on addressing conflict came from her site. It is called “Confronting Sin In Your Christian Brother.” Located at: http://dailydiscernment.wordpress.com/2008/05/14/confronting-sin-in-your-christian-brother/ Last Accessed: 5/2/11.
1. KJV Bible Commentary. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1997, c1994, S. 1777.
2-3. Maxwell, John. The Maxwell Leadership Bible, Second Edition. NKJV. Lessons in Leadership from the Word of God. Thomas Nelson. Nashville, Tennessee. 2007.
4-7, 11-13. Taylor, Ginger. Daily Discernment. Confronting Sin In Your Christian Brother. Located at: http://dailydiscernment.wordpress.com/2008/05/14/confronting-sin-in-your-christian-brother/ Last Accessed: 5/2/11.
9-10. Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker. A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. BakerBooks, Grand Rapids, MI. 2004.
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