A person without any self-control, is like a city wall that has a large hole.

 

“Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others with sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.” (Titus 1:5-9)

The term ‘self-control’ here is the Greek word sóphrón (Strong’s #4998), signifying a sound mind, temperance, and balance. It derives from root words meaning ‘safe’ and ‘regulated life’—akin to breathing. It represents an inner perspective that governs external actions.

This concept closely aligns with sóphronismos (Strong’s #4995), which denotes prudence, sensibility, and self-discipline through reasoned thinking. It appears in 2 Timothy 1:7, where Paul states, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.”

Another term, egkrateia (Strong’s #1466), used in Galatians 5:23, refers to a ‘fruit of the Spirit’ and translates to internal mastery and dominion. It points to the divine assistance we receive to govern our desires and passions.

Conversely, the word akratés (Strong’s #193) represents the lack of self-control, being powerless or prone to excess. Paul warns in 2 Timothy 3:3 that in the last days, as evil increases, people will exhibit this deficiency, favoring pleasure over God.

Proverbs frequently addresses self-control, particularly concerning anger management. Proverbs 25:28 compares a person lacking self-control to “a city whose walls are broken down,” emphasizing the need for restraint.

Proverbs 17:27 praises the knowledgeable for their restraint in speech and the understanding for their calm spirit. The text repeatedly advocates for moderation, caution in speech, and temperance in emotions, touching on issues like conflict, gluttony, mockery, brawling, deceit, and lust.

So, how do we cultivate self-control?

Self-Control Through Spiritual Growth Self-control develops over time through our connection with God. As we align with His will and draw closer to Him, self-control becomes intrinsic to our being, much like breathing.

Innate Self-Control From birth, our brain’s development includes elements of self-control. Noticeable differences in self-regulation may occur in children whose brains develop atypically.

Factors such as neglect, inherent physical limitations, or toxic stress from abuse can hinder the development of executive functions, leading to significant delays or impairments. Such children may react impulsively to stimuli, engaging in risky behaviors without recognizing danger or pausing to think.

Literature on child brain development, like ‘The Whole-Brained Child,’ suggests that fostering executive function begins not with practice in delaying response to stimuli but with nurturing the brain’s processing capabilities.

Physical Exercise and Self-Control Children’s cognitive processing abilities evolve through activities, affection, and tactile interaction. Physical exercise not only aids in developing these skills but also boosts brain oxygenation and stress tolerance.

 

The Role of Sports and Other Physical Activities An article on children’s sports states, “Sport provides a balance between group demands and individual needs, fostering both competitive spirit and self-control.” This principle applies not only to children but also to adults. Regular exercise supports stress management and enhances our capacity for self-control. The discipline of exercise bolsters our ability to maintain self-control and manage stress that could otherwise limit our capabilities.

The Impact of Stress and Worry on Self-Control It’s often observed that stress, fatigue, or worry can diminish our self-control. The acronym HALT—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired—serves as a reminder that these states can predispose us to lapses in self-regulation.

For instance, when overtired and anxious, one might find themselves mindlessly eating. This behavior illustrates how both our physical energy levels and emotional states can influence our self-control. Worry, in particular, can erode our spiritual vitality and reduce our capacity for self-discipline.

Managing Duress by What We Confess The words we speak about ourselves can have a profound effect. Negative self-talk, such as “I can never get it right” or “I have no self-control,” can be self-sabotaging. Conversely, positive affirmations and self-compassion can foster a mindset conducive to growth in self-control.

Personal beliefs significantly influence our inner strength. For example, individuals struggling with weight often engage in emotional eating due to negative self-perception. The solution lies not in stricter self-control regarding food but in cultivating a more gracious and loving attitude towards oneself.

Delayed Gratification and Self-Control As we mature, our brain’s executive functions develop, providing us with a baseline capacity for self-regulation. One key to enhancing self-control is practicing delayed gratification—expanding the gap between stimulus and response.

Consider a scenario where someone has been treated poorly or insulted but chooses not to react. This restraint is a manifestation of self-control, aligning with the divine ideal of leaving space for God’s presence.

Often, the challenge lies in not reacting impulsively to provocations or personal triggers. By maintaining composure, we can respond with love and healing, as Proverbs 12:18 suggests: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Cultivating Self-Control Through Discipline Self-control is nurtured in an environment of self-discipline. The more we practice restraint, particularly in giving ourselves time to respond thoughtfully to stimuli, the more ingrained self-control becomes in our character.

Any simple practices of self-discipline of exercising, self-denial, holding back from response to create a gap, and activities such as fasting, create inner strength and willpower.   When we give in and bend, break our commitments to ourselves, and lack discipline, we will also lack self-control.

Lord Jesus, help us to flourish in all the ways that you have for us.  Let us have great self-discipline and grow us in self-control.   Let us be all that you call us to be, working hard at becoming more free.

 

 

1.       . Strong's Greek: 4998. σώφρων (sóphrón) -- of sound mind, self-controlled (biblehub.com)

2.        Strong's Greek: 4995. σωφρονισμός (sóphronismos) -- self-control (biblehub.com)

3.        Strong's Greek: 1466. ἐγκράτεια (egkrateia) -- mastery, self-control (biblehub.com)

4.        Strong's Greek: 193. ἀκρατής (akratés) -- powerless, impotent (biblehub.com)

 5. Executive Function & Self-Regulation (harvard.edu)

 6. Physical Activity and Cognitive Functioning of Children: A Systematic Review - PMC (nih.gov)